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Lasting Friendship and TEFL
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sharter



Joined: 25 Jun 2008
Posts: 878
Location: All over the place

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 2:46 pm    Post subject: Lasting Friendship and TEFL Reply with quote

TEFL is an itinerant profession and most of us have taught in several different countries. How many here have made long lasting friendships with colleagues or are we just solitary ships that pass in the night?

For my part, I'm still good friends with those I met in the early part of my career in Poland and some of those I met in Qatar between 2000 and 2003; Facebook has been a godsend in that respect. Libya was different as I was home a lot but we all got along well.

I have to say that the longer I spend in the Gulf, the more I notice what damaged people this rootless life can produce or unearth.
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johnslat



Joined: 21 Jan 2003
Posts: 13859
Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 3:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Desr sharter,

I'm still friends with - and in contact with - about 8 "Western" ex-colleagues, and six Saudi ex-colleagues/students. Facebook has helped a lot, but there are still some that I'd like to get in touch with, but haven't been able to locate yet.
I guess we're all damaged to some extent, but the ones I've stayed in contact with don't seem unduly so to me (However, that may be because I'M so damaged myself Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy).

Regards,
John
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contented



Joined: 17 Oct 2011
Posts: 136
Location: اسطنبول

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 3:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I haven't made long lasting friendships with TEFL colleagues, but I have with people I met during my stay in various countries. We email, chat on skype and if we can we meet up if we find we'll be in the same part of the world.
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DebMer



Joined: 02 Jan 2012
Posts: 232
Location: Southern California

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 3:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I lived in Mexico and Colombia for about 3 1/2 years as a missionary and maintain contact with with local families I lived with and missionary friends I worked with. However, I was single then.

This thread is very poignant for those who have children, I think.

So far I've only taught ESL in California near our home, but as we consider going abroad, it's something to put a lot of thought into.
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spiral78



Joined: 05 Apr 2004
Posts: 11534
Location: On a Short Leash

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 4:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've made long-term friends both among expats and locals in both countries I've lived in long-term (over a year).
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Guy Courchesne



Joined: 10 Mar 2003
Posts: 9650
Location: Mexico City

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 5:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've met hundreds of FTs over the last decade and countless locals...I'd say aside from facebook friendliness, there are only 3 or 4 FTs that have become good friends (they have stayed on in Mexico) and several others that I regularly correspond with as they've moved on to other countries or home.

Quote:
This thread is very poignant for those who have children, I think.


Absolutely. Our daughter's first playmate was the son of my girlfriend's colleague and the four parents all became good friends as well. They moved on to jobs in the US and while we correspond/Skype regularly, the point was driven home when our daughter lost her best friend.


Last edited by Guy Courchesne on Mon Jan 09, 2012 9:43 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Sashadroogie



Joined: 17 Apr 2007
Posts: 11061
Location: Moskva, The Workers' Paradise

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 6:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am the Peoples' friend! Once you have supped a shot of vodka with me and joined the Party and have undergone full re-education, then we are friends for life. Guaranteed. For the rest of your life, you'll never be far away from the embrace of the Party.

Universal Peace and Friendship between the Peoples of the world! Death to the exploiters!
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EFLeducator



Joined: 16 Dec 2011
Posts: 595
Location: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 9:37 pm    Post subject: Re: Lasting Friendship and TEFL Reply with quote

sharter wrote:
How many here have made long lasting friendships?


I haven't. I tried while I was in Mexico City but people seem to be too busy with the everyday activities of work. Such is life I guess. There are a few Mexicans I still talk with. I didn't meet many Americans while in the great DF. Perhaps that will change when I go back.

sharter wrote:
I have to say that the longer I spend in the Gulf, the more I notice what damaged people this rootless life can produce or unearth.


Damaged people? In what ways are people damaged? I'm curious. Cool I never felt damaged by teaching EFL in beauitful Mexico City. I miss it so much I may go back. Cool
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Prof.Gringo



Joined: 07 Nov 2006
Posts: 2236
Location: Dang Cong San Viet Nam Quang Vinh Muon Nam!

PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 12:18 am    Post subject: Re: Lasting Friendship and TEFL Reply with quote

EFLeducator wrote:
sharter wrote:
How many here have made long lasting friendships?


I haven't. I tried while I was in Mexico City but people seem to be too busy with the everyday activities of work. Such is life I guess. There are a few Mexicans I still talk with. I didn't meet many Americans while in the great DF. Perhaps that will change when I go back.

sharter wrote:
I have to say that the longer I spend in the Gulf, the more I notice what damaged people this rootless life can produce or unearth.


Damaged people? In what ways are people damaged? I'm curious. Cool I never felt damaged by teaching EFL in beauitful Mexico City. I miss it so much I may go back. Cool


Aw shucks EFLeducator, I thought we were best buddies... Razz
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EFLeducator



Joined: 16 Dec 2011
Posts: 595
Location: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS

PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 4:49 am    Post subject: Re: Lasting Friendship and TEFL Reply with quote

Prof.Gringo wrote:
Aw shucks EFLeducator, I thought we were best buddies... Razz


Dang Prof. Gringo, I forgot about you. You were the coolest American I met in the beautiful DF. I was thinking about crazy Jimmy who spent that year and a half in China then two weeks in Mexico City before he took off to Texas to work for Target. Laughing
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sharter



Joined: 25 Jun 2008
Posts: 878
Location: All over the place

PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 6:03 am    Post subject: normal types Reply with quote

Of the hundreds of teachers I've met in Poland only 3 stand out as being odd. In the Gulf, the ration goes up to 1 in 2 although I don't think it's the place's fault.
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sharter



Joined: 25 Jun 2008
Posts: 878
Location: All over the place

PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 7:17 am    Post subject: oops! Reply with quote

*ratio!
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contented



Joined: 17 Oct 2011
Posts: 136
Location: اسطنبول

PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 7:41 am    Post subject: Re: normal types Reply with quote

sharter wrote:
Of the hundreds of teachers I've met in Poland only 3 stand out as being odd. In the Gulf, the ration goes up to 1 in 2 although I don't think it's the place's fault.


What about weird locals who are teachers of English? Don't leave them out.
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naturegirl321



Joined: 04 May 2003
Posts: 9041
Location: home sweet home

PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 11:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

After nearly a decade I have one friend that I email. I have a couple on FB, but that's just FB. It's hard. I mean, when you're overseas in the same country, same situation, you become friends easily. Then you or they move on and you're in a totally different sitaution that you can't relate to.
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spiral78



Joined: 05 Apr 2004
Posts: 11534
Location: On a Short Leash

PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 12:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
After nearly a decade I have one friend that I email. I have a couple on FB, but that's just FB. It's hard. I mean, when you're overseas in the same country, same situation, you become friends easily. Then you or they move on and you're in a totally different sitaution that you can't relate to.


That's a bit sad. While I see your point about commonalities, I haven't found this to be true in my experience at all. My friends range from those who are still in places where I used to live and work, to those who went off to places I've never been (Asia and the ME, mostly) and those who got out of EFL entirely. But there still seems to be plenty of common ground and lots to talk about - and I very often get together with various international friends when chances come up. I've found that even when I haven't seen someone face to face for a few years, we still feel like current friends.

I think that before internet, I'd have lost touch with most all my friends over the years, honestly, but email makes it really easy to stay in touch. I don't have a lot of expectations about constant contact, though - obviously when people get busy moving or starting new jobs or having children and etc the rate of contact drops off, but I really have lost touch with literally only one or two people maximum over the past decade ++

In my case, EFL and living abroad have hugely enriched my real-friends base.
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