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Steiner · Joined: 21 Apr 2003 Posts: 573 Location: Hunan China

This report is still unsubstantiated, probably because I just made it up:

CHINA--Officials today announced that a disturbing new illness is sweeping through the country. To date, 2500 foreign teachers are confirmed dead and many more are sick after their homes were sprayed with chemicals intended to combat SARS. However, health officials are not permitting the WHO to monitor the situation.
Victims had complained of headache, dizziness, nausea, vomiting, coughing up of the throat lining, and tumors breaking out on the skin like bubbles on the surface of boiling water.
"The situation is under control," said one health official. "There is no situation," said an official who had not spoken with the first. Other officials reported that they are beginning another spraying campaign with newer, more powerful chemicals which will mask the effects of the old ones.
All residents of and visitors to China are strongly advised to panic.

Enjoy your day! Try not to breathe Very Happy

yaco · Joined: 03 Mar 2003 Posts: 473

Do we have the diagnosis for SARS related illnesses ?

Yesterday, I thought I may become the world's first victim.

Those damn chemicals !!!!!!!!!!!!

gerard · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 581 Location: Internet Cafe

I guess the cure is worse than the disease...If sars doesn't get us the hysteria will one way or another.

Roger · Joined: 19 Jan 2003 Posts: 9138

Steiner,
the ingredcients for a lovely parody!

yaco:
Are you going to visit Guangdong in May?

Roger

noodles · Joined: 12 Feb 2003 Posts: 67

Ok, so today my school stopped every student and teacher before we entered school to point a laser beam at our heads, i am presuming this is their sure fire way of checking we do not have the deadly disease - i feel a lot safer now i know i have the all clear. Confused

arioch36 · Joined: 21 Jan 2003 Posts: 3589

Thanx Steiner

Less we be too hard on our dear PRC, the west has had its own hysterias...Is this what is was like when Orson Wells did what was it...War of the Worlds? I remember when Reagan was president the press had children believe that nuclear war was coming, and they were to upset to go to school. Or how about "air raid drills" in case of a nuclear attack. You young whippersnappers probably don't remember, but in case of a nuclear attack we would leave the classroom sit down, put our head between our knees and practice kissing our ass good buy.
Aylar, anyone?

chinasyndrome

[quote="Steiner"]

arioch36 · Joined: 21 Jan 2003 Posts: 3589

What would happen if I showed my class these? I must print them out, but my dayinji has a virus.

Steiner · Joined: 21 Apr 2003 Posts: 573 Location: Hunan China

I don't know how I left this out of the original post:

"Furthermore, officials announced the cancellation of all holidays between now and the Opening Ceremonies of the Beijing 2008 Olympics. They also retroactively cancelled this year's Chinese New Year, stating that in order to prevent the further spread of any diseases they had to revise history. Citizens are requested to turn in photographs and any other memorabilia which they acquired during this past Chinese New Year."

...If they're going to spray down my apartment, that's fine. I don't mind too much that it took my wife and me two hours to clean up after them, really I don't. Or that it's pointless because if there's any SARS in here it's because we're already infected and brought it in with us. I just think it might be nice if they'd go ahead and thoroughly clean out the stairwell. It's kinda filthy. But then I guess if I really care so much I could do it myself....hmm, I suppose it's not that important after all.