Job Discussion Forums

[selmo]

I find it strange that the majority of nasty comments on this forum come from Men (even if they have agirls name-sorry elsie). I think that this is due to the fact that the majority of men -not all - come to Asia or other exotic places not looking for cultural experiences but more to find a wife. I am unsure why so many of the women do not find native partners? I find the whole thing in Asia especially is based on racism they dislike and distrust the race of people who they are here basically to try and bed.

All comments are welcome

[kimo]

[Bertrand]

Maybe you are right, but I really don't know. I think there is an element of truth in what you write. The answer to the men vs women situation is easy to answer: Asian women are great looking whereas Asian men are, well, hardly attractive to Western women (at least, that is what I have been told on numerous occasions).

[bnix]

Selmo's assumption that most(or even many) guys come to Asia (or anywhere else,for that matter),"looking for a wife",instead of "cultural experiences" is a pretty simplistic statement indeed.I have not taken a poll,either,but I doubt if the desire to find that FAIR Someone is the prime motivation for most guys to get on the plane.How about the ever-popular $$$$$$$ as a motivating factor?That seems more likely in my opinion.Sure,a lot of guys are not adverse to having a little "adventure" with some distaff foreigner, but LOOKING FOR A WIFE? Maybe in a few cases...but not a prime reason.
As to your assertion that more males post more aggressive posts...well,maybe.With some of the neutral "handles"(e.g."selmo")...it is often difficult to tell the gender of the poster,unless it is made clear in their post(s).
I think your idea about most males coming over to look for a wife is pretty much out in left field.

[Marcoregano]

It does seem that most of the negates (or should that be negatees) on this forum are males. For some reason, this does not surprise me, sad though it is. There simply seem to be more angst-ridden males wanting to slag people off or do damage than there are females. Why I don't know. However, I don't believe that many male teachers are motivated to come to Asia mainly to find a wife or to indulge in the fleshpots. While that may be true of a few I think that this generalisation applies more to sad retired businessmen-types, and most of them can be found in Pattaya and Bangkok. I agree with bnix that finding a job is the main reason.

However, it is certainly true that more western guys (teachers) end up with Asian girlfriends or wives than vice versa. My take on this is that western guys are happy to overlook the the rather backward social/mental development of Asians (yikes!!) for their obvious physical attributes, whereas western women (understandably) are not - they don't want a male partner who expects them to wait on him hand and foot. Or worse if he's Korean. Or Japanese. Or Hong Kongese. Er...need I go on?

[johnslat]

Here's my armchair psychology, two-cents worth on the topic. I think that most of the " nasty comments " come from men simply because men tend to be more " nasty " than women. This is a BIG generalization, so sorry, but generalizations aren't ALWAYS wrong. Men more readily exhibit aggressiveness and ego whereas women more often seek to communicate and interact. Well, that's been my experience, anyway, although there are a significant number of exceptions. There's a reason " macho " is a commonly used word - what's the feminine equivalent? And if you don't like my post, why go - you know.
Regards,
Macho John

[bnix]

Yah...we all know-"Real Men Don't Eat Quiche"..... "Real Men Go to Saudi"

[Steiner]

I agree with johnslat on why most of the nasty comments come from men. It also seems that the majority of posters here are male, so the majority of nasty posts come from males.

Of course it's hard to tell and even when a nasty poster has a female name (let's take, oh, Cynthia, for example) everyone assumes that poster to be a man in woman's clothing.

[johnslat]

Dear bnix,
"Real Men Don't Eat Quiche"..... Real Men Go to Saudi"

Well, although it'll probably destroy my carefully cultivated macho image, I rather like quiche. And a number of my colleagues here over the years would be more than a little surprised to hear themselves designated as " real men " - seeing as how so many have other, nastier labels for " that sort ". No, I don't think it takes an excess of testosterone to come here; just a need for a bigger that usual EFL salary and an ability to get along without many outside diversions.
Regards,
Quiche-liking John

[Marcoregano]

I am also partial to a slice of quiche though I don't find it (or cook it) very often in HK. Nor did I during my two years in Korea. Why? As anyone who lives and works in Asia knows, Asians don't use ovens, and only rarely are they supplied with furnished apartments. I wonder why?

[Mike_2003]

Does anyone have a good recipe for quiche? I've suddenly developed an urge for some.

[Glenski]

[Irish]

Although I tend to mistrust generalizations, I agree with big, bad, quiche-eating John on this one. Men seem to exhibit more aggression than women (although, as the man said, exceptions abound). A large part of it, I think, is socialization. You gentlemen are taught from an early age to stand up for yourselves and fight for your rights if necessary. We're taught to make nice and find consensus. (Bleh.) Coming right out and saying something rude to someone else simply isn't lady-like. Instead, we take it into the restroom.

As for the question of "native partners," I really wouldn't know where to begin. Even though we've joked about finding good men or good women, I don't know how many people go abroad looking for Mr or Ms Right. Perhaps women who work in countries where women have very traditional roles have more difficulty finding a man who accepts their worldview. Or, as with aggression, maybe it's simply more acceptable for men to discuss which countries have the best/most willing partners.

[zakiah25]

Dear JohnSlat
That reminds me, I have some people coming around to dinner tomorrow night and I'm making a quiche for the entree.
Should I make it with a shortcrust pastry base or with it be ok using a plain bread dough or perhaps a basic plain scone mixture? And for a garnish, should I use black Greek pitted olives or Chinese mushrooms and a few chopped chives?
Zakiah

[selmo]

Interesting comments well bnix really tells me what sex you are . Selmo is my name honesty is my game shall I scan my documents and send you them. The main thing I am onto with this thread is thatso many men come here and I hear comments like Asian girls know how to treat a man and these are real ladies this is down right sexism. The second is racism . So many men come here for something exotic and from the other thread half of you agree with prostitution . I think you should pay the same price you do for some fat slapper in the U.S. otherwise it is racial/economic exploitation. How can you marry a girl and then slag off her culture and country so much? It is basic racism you hear on building sites I hate blacks but oh no chalky's alright coz I work with him. I hate Chinese but my wife and family are alright . I Like Asian girls as much as the next guy does but I love their country and their culture and when there is something that frustrates me I take a deep breath and try and understand what is so different that it frustrates me. Western businesses have ripped me off more than anybody has of 4 years in Asia . I think the superstar syndrome goes to a few peoples heads and the come down of just being another immigrant suffering a lot less racial discrimination than immigrants suffer in the west upsets them.