Job Discussion Forums

[nomad soul]

[RM1983]

Thanks for that and I agree with them wholeheartedly. Low expectations is interesting for me as I did come with low expectations.

I'd add to that though - look after yourself physically, especially if you are a teacher. I think I had trouble before because I would go a long time without going to the gym (recently Ive started a martial arts class). It is quite astonishing how much this will effect your mood. The martial arts is especially amazing for this, not only am I getting out the stress but my teaching has been improving because Im becoming much more aware of how I use my body in general.

[nomad soul]

[TokyoLiz]

Nomad, great insight!

I second your advice on exit strategy and funds. There are some who will only put in a year, and those who stay for a lifetime. However, no matter what you intend, circumstances can change abruptly, whether it's life altering health issues, starting a family, or experiencing a disaster like we had five years ago.

RM1983, 10 plus years of training here helped me keep my energy up, and taught me focus. It's not all physical discipline - many martial styles are a mental workout and psychological challenge Best of luck in your training.

[nomad soul]

I found the following statements quite telling:

[TokyoLiz]

Lately, my guy and I were talking about gender roles in Japan. He was telling me that, in his family, women discouraged their men from involvement in raising their children. Men work long hours, and women take care of PTA and attending school events such as open house and graduation.

Many foreign men I meet who are married to Japanese women seem disillusioned, to put it mildly. The foreign women married to Japanese, and single mums, I meet tend to be adjusted to the way things are done here.

My guy has lived abroad, but he's still pretty traditional on a lot of issues. I was aware of the cultural expectations for a Japanese wife, so I wasn't surprised so much.

I guess it all comes back to what Nomad says - research the culture before you come me over, and leave your fantasies behind.

[cat mother]

I'll go on the record to say that I love living in Japan.
I've lived in a few other countries in my life, some of them pretty shitty.
Next to them Japan is a freakin' paradise.

Though in all fairness, it took me a long time to get to this point.

I don't really socialize with any foreigners (I only know people on the internet), my friends and people I spend time with are all Japanese. I'm too old to be treated as a pet foreigner, and even though I wish I could use the gaijin card more often and claim ignorance, I simply can't. I live in a pretty small community and everyone knows me here.

I can say I've adapted. I know I will never assimilate fully and I will always stick out based on my looks, but I don't mind.
I am really happy with my life here. I work, pursue my hobbies, spend time with my partner, just live my life.

As a third culture kid I don't know what homesickness is. I feel homesick when I am away from Japan. When I travel, I think "in Japan, we do it like this..." But I can do it just fine any other way as well. It's all good, those small differences are what makes life interesting.

Why some people adapt to new cultures and others don't, that I can't tell you. But what helps in this process is having an open mind, being flexible and very resilient.

[Lamarr]

I don't actually know any Westerners who've worked full-time, permanent "seishain" in a Japanese company. All the non-Japanese I've ever known who've worked for Japanese companies have worked on contracts, thus avoiding the "brunt" of Japanese corporate culture. I doubt many Westerners could successfully adapt. You'd kind of have to deny and cut off an essential part of yourself and give up your soul so to speak, kind of like being a defector. That'd be very hard to come to terms with. I think a Japanese company would wonder about the motivations of someone wanting to do that.

[TokyoLiz]

[Lamarr]

I think it'd be easier for other Asians to adapt, being closer to the country culturally and geographically, and also the fact that Japanese companies outsource and invest more in other Asian countries.

I did glance at a book a while ago written by an Irish guy who worked for Mitsubishi full-time in Japan, apparently the first Westerner to do that, called The Blue-Eyed Salaryman. The only other name that springs to mind is Jake Adelstein, who was a full-time reporter for the Yomiuri Shimbun.

I think the majority of Westerners that come to Japan would either work on contracts for Japanese companies, or else work for a Western company or organization.

[rxk22]

Depends. I think having the internet is a mixed blessing. It keeps you entertained, yet it also makes it so that you don't have to go out. Meaning unless you actively do it, you don't have to interact with the locals.

I have been here 5 or so years, total. Had one kid here, and one kid in the US. I would have to say that never being totally literate, is a constant wrench in my gears. Not being able to read is something I notice all the time. I do study Kanji, but I am still mid Elem level, reading ability wise.

I notice when I have gone home, being able to read everything is so amazing.

As for raising kids, my wife likes me being involved. Which is nice. It also has benefited my kids, as their English is a second language, not a foreign one. I finally figured out why half kids here often can't speak English.........Most wives I have met, don't want their husbands involved with raising their kids. They want them out making money, so they come home late. It's not all, but I have seen this a fair bit. Why come home and play with the kids, when you can make 3000-5000 yen an hour teaching privates?

I am a Seishain, and it is a very mixed bag. I like the stability, and the benefits. I hate all the politics, and meetings. I'm not going to lie, I am thankful, yet I end many days wishing to be an ALT again.

[izmigari]

[TokyoLiz]

Rxk22, that's great that you are involved in raising your children.

Last week at school, in the junior high and senior high grad ceremonies, I would say that the gender balance of attending parents was about 50-50. From talking to teachers and parents, it looks like Japanese families' attitudes are changing. I also see a lot of fathers minding their kids, carrying them, blowing noses, etc. That wasn't so common 10 years ago.

Back to the JET isolation issue - my neighbourhood and city hall reached out to me, I met other JETs on weekend events, volunteered, and trained in Aikido. I got out every weekend to travel around the prefecture. The time I had to myself I spent studying, hiking and biking. It was never boring, and I didn't feel isolated.

I did experience the typical cycle of culture shock, but JET seminar topics informed me about what to expect. I also researched the heck out of the region I was going to, and had the rudiments of the language before I arrived.

[Lamarr]

An article about that book I mentioned:

http://www.japantimes.co.jp/community/2006/06/17/general/still-blue-eyed-but-not-a-salaryman-anymore/#.VuX5xFSLTIV

The writer says exactly the same thing about the salary and benefits being good and the main reason he stayed to put up with all the company crap. And another interesting comment, which I think sums up the general dilemma that gaijin face working with the Japanese:

[rxk22]

Liz, what other language do you speak/passively understand, and did it help you when you were learning Japanese?

Honestly, I don't see how you can't be involved with your kids. At my school, you only see a few dads outside of the big days like the graduation ceremony, and maybe sports day. A lot of involved fathers at my school still.