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spiral78 · Joined: 05 Apr 2004 Posts: 11534 Location: On a Short Leash

I have come across some clever English-language tidbits over the years. Here are a few I came across recently.

Contribute if you've got some Very Happy

spiral78 · Joined: 05 Apr 2004 Posts: 11534 Location: On a Short Leash

Let's eat grandma.
Let's eat, grandma.

Punctuation saves lives.

spiral78 · Joined: 05 Apr 2004 Posts: 11534 Location: On a Short Leash

A.A.A.A.A.
American Association Against Acronym Abuse

spiral78 · Joined: 05 Apr 2004 Posts: 11534 Location: On a Short Leash

Grammar: the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you're nuts.

spiral78 · Joined: 05 Apr 2004 Posts: 11534 Location: On a Short Leash

I have CDO. It's like OCD, except that it's in alphabetical order as it should be.

Sashadroogie · Posted: Mon Dec 16, 2013 2:36 am Post subject:

Dyslexics of the world , untie!!!

Kent F. Kruhoeffer · Joined: 22 Jan 2003 Posts: 2129 Location: 中国

Very funny!

Loved the ones about OCD and dyslexics of the world. Laughing

A student of mine, many years ago in Russia:

'Teacher, I want to cook you!' Shocked

A student of mine recently in Manila:

Teacher: 'So what did you do over the weekend?'

Student: 'I played with my son's balls.'

Aforementioned student and young father had just bought a basketball and some other toy 'balls' for his 2 year old son to play with. A grammatically correct sentence, I might add. I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes.

Language students say the funniest things. Wink

MuscatGary · Posted: Mon Dec 16, 2013 6:46 am Post subject:

A classical false friend situation from my book in progress...

Eventually we reach the question about favourite foods, a great topic in France but not particularly arduous as much of English cuisine vocabulary originates from French anyway. Naturally, we all agree that French cheese is delicious, French wine is outstanding, and that French bread is far superior to English bread. I explain that this is because we put preservatives in our bread and I am greeted with a pair of stylishly incredulous looks. 'You put the préservatif in your bread? Why?’ says Sophie. 'Well, it makes it last longer' I explain. Sophie and Marie-Chantal look like they are going to burst, Sophie asks Marie-Chantal if it's possible and gets a Gallic shrug and 'I suppose so', as her response. I begin to suspect a false friend has entered the conversation or as the French would say 'un ami faux'. This is where a word or phrase looks/sounds the same in two languages but has (often hilariously) different meanings. I ask Sophie, who is struggling to breathe, what 'préservatif ' means in French and she explains that it's a condom. The full implication of my explanation of why we put preservatives in our bread hits me and I also dissolve in laughter.

sager · Joined: 26 Dec 2012 Posts: 35 Location: Germany

I was teaching the Passive Gerund:

Student: I like cooking but I prefer being cooked!

Prepositions save lives too!

HLJHLJ · Joined: 06 Oct 2009 Posts: 1218 Location: Ecuador

During an initial chat with a new student I asked him about his work. He told me he sold drugs in the next village. I didn't really know what to say, so I decided it would be best to just move on quickly and avoid the topic in future.

Some time later I found out he was a pharmacist.

fat_chris · Joined: 10 Sep 2003 Posts: 3198 Location: Beijing

ATTENTION EVERYONE!

The Procrastination Club meeting has been postponed until further notice.

Warm regards,
fat_chris

fat_chris · Joined: 10 Sep 2003 Posts: 3198 Location: Beijing

ATTENTION EVERYONE!

The Apathy Club meeting has been cancelled due to lack of interest.

Warm regards,
fat_chris

fat_chris · Joined: 10 Sep 2003 Posts: 3198 Location: Beijing

fat_chris · Joined: 10 Sep 2003 Posts: 3198 Location: Beijing

What noun/verb becomes a demonym when you capitalize the first letter?

Warm regards,
fat_chris

johntpartee · Joined: 02 Mar 2010 Posts: 3258

Dutch; there's gotta be others.