Job Discussion Forums

Foolsboy · Joined: 30 Mar 2003 Posts: 12

I found myself writing this on a lonely weekend night. This should be something for the snide to sink their teeth into.

I posted a similar post in the Russia forum, but I�m going to post here too. Try not to laugh at this post too much, but let�s be honest. A lot of us guys out there know that one of the main reasons we went into TEFL as a career was to find a good woman. This may seem silly, but for those of us single guys out there who plan to marry one day, it is a huge and important decision, and it would be smart not to limit our options to the women who live wherever we come from. I�m not saying that the desire to explore and experience nature, different languages, and different cultures or just wanting to experience something new or to escape from something aren�t reasons we went into TEFL as well. I�m also aware that there is a strong desire to learn the intricacies of applied linguistics because we all know that that is a powerfully alluring Siren that is nothing short of futile to resist.

Alright, well, I realize there are good women in every culture, but what I�m trying to find out is where a young decent looking, nice, and somewhat funny Western man like myself has the best chance of finding a good woman. I�m not talking about marrying hastily. I�m just trying to find out where a single guy like myself who plans to marry one day before the atom bomb drops has a good chance of finding a good woman.

I wouldn�t be looking elsewhere if I didn�t think that Western women had the upper hand and that most of them are looking to take even more. Maybe this is wishful thinking on my part, but I�d like to find a place in the world where women don�t feel like they have to constantly compete with men or where women don�t think they always have to be right. Or where they don�t think that the word �housewife� is an insult or that men just want to keep them down. If there�s a place in the world where a lot of women can love and trust men, then I�d like to find that place. Excuse me if I sound jaded and cynical, but this has been my experience with Western women anyway. I know every Western man and especially most of the Western women don�t feel this way.

Well, my idea is as an EFL teacher I could go someplace that has a whole lot of good women looking for a good man, get to know one really well, and then eventually marry her and either stay there if we were happy or more likely bring her back home with me or to wherever we might both want to and be able to go. I�m curious and would like to explore, and I�d want to have somewhat of an understanding of the land and culture where my elusive mystery woman has been hiding out all of these years, and I�d also want to have enough time to get to know her before I hooked her up with that highly sought after shrine, the green card.

So here�s what I�ve been getting at. For those of you men out there who have had romantic relationships/marriages with foreign women that you�ve met while living and working abroad or for those of you out there who have known or know men who have had romantic relationships/marriages with foreign women that they met while living and working abroad, what was it like? Did it work out, or is it working out? Why or why not? For those of you who have been there, would you do it again if you could go back in time? For those of you who have known or know of such relationships, would you advise the guy to do it again if he could? In short, where are the good women of the world to be found? Thank you for your thoughts and time. I hope this topic gets some good responses.

Glenski · Joined: 15 Jan 2003 Posts: 12844 Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN

Sherri · Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2003 7:15 am Post subject:

So let me see if I understand correctly--in your opinion a good woman is:

1. not western or from a western country
2. willing to always let her husband have the "upper hand" and "be right" all the time
3. longing to be financially dependent on her husband (a housewife)
4. not interested in being treated equally

As an American woman (obviously I fail to be a good women--see #1) who has lived abroad for over 20 years and is in an international marriage, I am afraid I will disappoint you with my answer. Men and women are pretty much the same the world over. There is no one country which is "someplace that has a whole lot of good women (your definition) looking for a good man (you!)". By all means teach, travel, meet people, some you will like, some you won't. You may even get lucky and meet a woman who meets your standards--it's a big world out there.

zakiah25 · Joined: 09 Feb 2003 Posts: 155 Location: Oman

I think that you would have been better off curling up in bed with a good book! Murphy for instance, at least it would have had some added benefit to improve your knowledge of Grammar otherwise you should have gone into one of those "chatrooms" to look for your "soulmate"!
Going into TEFL to find a good woman! Oh, please! Get a life!

yattsukeshigoto · Joined: 26 Mar 2003 Posts: 6

oh come on this has to be an april fool's post . . .

"I�m also aware that there is a strong desire to learn the intricacies of applied linguistics because we all know that that is a powerfully alluring Siren that is nothing short of futile to resist. "

If the rest of it doesn't ring alarm bells, that should.

itslatedoors · Joined: 17 Feb 2003 Posts: 97

Eastern Europe is full of totty and I don't blame the original poster for wanting a foreign bird.American women,who are not famed for their svelte shapes, tend to come with balls attached and deep voices. Try Poland,Russia or the Czech Republic for real beauties,who aren't weened on pizza and a diet of Germain Greer.Getting into ELT to find a woman seems a bit on the desperate side though...

scot47 · Joined: 10 Jan 2003 Posts: 15343

I recommend Bulgaria, but there is the down side that you can barely survive on a salary as a teacher there. Nice country though.
I fully understand why no sane male would choose to mate with a female from certain countries where English is the first language. Oh STEREOTYPING !
Yup, that is right. Why do you think we have sterotypes anyway ? Becaue they help us to understand reality !!!!!!!

gerard · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 581 Location: Internet Cafe

Gentlemen would you mind keeping your posts under 5000 words or so that those of us who work mornings have time to give them the careful reading they deserve??? (I kill me!!!) A wife??? In my ESL career I have had 2 flings-1 lasting 3 months the other over before it started. So I may not be the person to ask but I would say try the Bermuda triangle S/E Asia opium cartel thing... Vietnam from personal experience fits your criteria I think and from 2nd hand info Lao might be a good call. Then there is always Cambodia. If you strike out in these 3 places I don't know what what to tell you. Maybe start brushing up on the Spanish and head to ......Cuba. OH by the way way you know that marrying will not change anything? You will not be able to take her home and you will have to keep applying for education visas . Good post though I will come back and read it on the weekend when my boss lets me stay up past 11:00. (Now THAT is an April fool joke...)

stgeorge · Joined: 17 Jan 2003 Posts: 26

that post made me laugh. go to thailand and pick up a bargirl Wink

tEFLon · Joined: 14 Mar 2003 Posts: 8

Women can be found in many places. 'Good' - now that is subject to interpretation. If you are talking about physical appearence that lasts, the slight Asian ladies have it all over the buffalo butts back in the UK or USA/Canada. Romance - South America, Hot bods - Eastern Europe. Long term relationships and marriage with foreign ladies can be a difficult path to navigate. Usually independence is not a strong suit, nor is tact in Anglo social gatherings. Ever thought about returning to a bedroom decorated with teddy bears and other cute little knick-knacks? You have a lot of money? Be prepared to share. Oh, and if you don't care for myriad involvements with in-laws, then abort right now. Still, I'd go with a foreign lady any day of the week. Marriage with an American woman is a divorce waiting to happen.

Paul G · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 125 Location: China & USA

This has got to be an April Fools thread. I agree with itslatedoors and I just can't see that happening in real life.

SueH · Joined: 01 Feb 2003 Posts: 1022 Location: Northern Italy

[quote="Foolsboy"] If there’s a place in the world where a lot of women can love and trust men, then I’d like to find that place.

Foolsboy · Joined: 30 Mar 2003 Posts: 12

Well, regarding the responses so far as a whole, I knew I would take some cheap shots, but I�ve gotten good feedback as well, so I thank all who have responded.

Glenski, your response was a bit harsh if you ask me, but that�s to be expected and is understandable. I am serious about teaching, by the way. One thing I like about ESL is that it allows me to find a job at home or abroad. I�m not putting all the blame on Western women either. I�m sure there are plenty of good women here. I just don�t want to limit my options. I�ve read quite a few of your posts and have found them to be informative and helpful. I�m not going to get defensive or retributive with you or start anymore of a fire than I already have, at least I don�t quite feel like it now or think it�s a very good idea. I didn�t post to raise hell. I posted to learn something. You gave me some food for thought, and I thank you for it.

As far as what Sherri said, I�m not even going to go near that.

bnix · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 645

His handle pretty much tells it all.A pretty tasteless post.It MAY be a troll...or just an April Fool's joke....but with some of the "teachers" running around this field...one never knows.

And"doors" manages to make a tasteless response.I have no idea what"totty" is...but I could make a pretty good guess and he makes one other tasteless,sexist comment...but what else is new?Of course,this board supposedly has "standards"....well,maybe sometimes.... Laughing

zakiah25 · Joined: 09 Feb 2003 Posts: 155 Location: Oman

(Sob) - I can see a happy ending coming out of all of this!
Foolsboy will marry Bubba on national television - Oprah can do a special on it.
This is probably closer to the truth out of everything that he told us - in reality, if he did meet a good woman, he would probably run away like a scolded camel!