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"you must say hello to me in the mornings" ?!?
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mateomiguel



Joined: 16 May 2005

PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 4:59 pm    Post subject: "you must say hello to me in the mornings" ?!? Reply with quote

I have just recently moved out of the elementary school teaching profession and into the scary corporate world of information technology in Korea. I sit at a desk in an office and type all day long. I'm the only foreigner around.

The guy immediately to my left is not part of my team. I don't know him, I don't work with him, I only sit next to him. But, he knows English, and talks to me sometimes. He is an accountant and real nerdy, even by Korean standards. It sounds like he practices the previous evening before our conversations, so the conversations never really seem to deviate too far from a script.

He's also seven years older than me.

Yesterday, when I came to work, he turned to me and said hello, good morning, how are you, yadda yadda. I answer politely enough. Then he tells me something more strange. "In Korea, it is a custom for younger people to say hello to older people first, so I want you to say hello to me when you come to work in the morning." I didn't really know how to answer that, and I'm definitely not going to do it. Only trained monkeys say hello on command!

I never shoulda told anybody my age.
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jaganath69



Joined: 17 Jul 2003

PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 5:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, kind of sucks but you learn to live with it. I turn up at my school every morning, go into the office first thing and give a deep bow and an anyeong hashimnika to the wonjang. No skin off my nose.
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Kimchieluver



Joined: 02 Mar 2005

PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 5:21 pm    Post subject: Re: "you must say hello to me in the mornings" ?! Reply with quote

mateomiguel wrote:
I have just recently moved out of the elementary school teaching profession and into the scary corporate world of information technology in Korea. I sit at a desk in an office and type all day long. I'm the only foreigner around.

The guy immediately to my left is not part of my team. I don't know him, I don't work with him, I only sit next to him. But, he knows English, and talks to me sometimes. He is an accountant and real nerdy, even by Korean standards. It sounds like he practices the previous evening before our conversations, so the conversations never really seem to deviate too far from a script.

He's also seven years older than me.

Yesterday, when I came to work, he turned to me and said hello, good morning, how are you, yadda yadda. I answer politely enough. Then he tells me something more strange. "In Korea, it is a custom for younger people to say hello to older people first, so I want you to say hello to me when you come to work in the morning." I didn't really know how to answer that, and I'm definitely not going to do it. Only trained monkeys say hello on command!

I never shoulda told anybody my age.


It's called "Korean Culture" and he is just informing you of the practices. Why not get with the program and just do it? Really, it is a matter so trivial and it could bring about future rewards and more respect from Koreans in your work place.
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poet13



Joined: 22 Jan 2006
Location: Just over there....throwing lemons.

PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 5:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your colleague made a culture based request. Unless there is some other dynamic at work there, it's entirely reasonable.
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Yu_Bum_suk



Joined: 25 Dec 2004

PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 5:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just say 'good morning, everyone!' as you get to your desk.

As you should know by now, this culture's really big on greetings. I was in the staff room early one morning when there was just one other younger Korean teacher around. A senior teacher walked in with a big happy 'anyeong hashimnika!' and it was more like she was greeting the room than us.

Wanting to avoid any confusion of formalities, I just greet everyone in English as I'm coming in. 'Good morning, Mrs Jang; good morning Mr Park; good morning Mrs Kim; good morning Mrs Chun' all the way to my desk.
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mnhnhyouh



Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Location: The Middle Kingdom

PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 5:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yu_Bum_suk wrote:
'anyeong hashimnika!'


What is the difference between this and anyeong heyseo?

h
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The Hierophant



Joined: 13 Sep 2005

PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 5:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

mnhnhyouh wrote:
Yu_Bum_suk wrote:
'anyeong hashimnika!'


What is the difference between this and anyeong heyseo?

h

It's the honorific, 'formal' greeting.
Annyong Haseyo is a 'polite casual' greeting.
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Passions



Joined: 31 May 2006

PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 5:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Honestly, he is correct.

You are in a foreign country so you should make effort to abide by their customs.

That being said, is it ridiculous? Of course!
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Oreovictim



Joined: 23 Aug 2006

PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 5:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You should be a complete smart a$$ and tell him that you can only promise to greet him on odd-numbered days. Say, "Hello! Oopps! I forgot, it's the 20nd. I take that back, I'll say hello to you tomorrow instead."
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mateomiguel



Joined: 16 May 2005

PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 6:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think I'm going to go with the smarta$$ version, because it would be consistent and makes me feel so much better. When one of my coworkers told me at lunch to finish my rice, I asked him "Are you my mother?" causing the whole table to laugh for like 5 minutes. And when one of my other coworkers asked me if I lived alone, I said "Why, are you going to come kill me?" getting a weird look and an end to the conversation.

When I was a teacher in this country, I was the most understanding, flexible waygook any Korean could ever want to speak to in conversation class. But now, they're paying me for skills I've actually studied. I don't have infinite patience when I'm not doing the easiest job in the world (teaching). Now, these Koreans can see mateomiguel unleashed!

Its payback time.
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VanIslander



Joined: 18 Aug 2003
Location: Geoje, Hadong, Tongyeong,... now in a small coastal island town outside Gyeongsangnamdo!

PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 7:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd just say I'm not Korean. Wink

Nod and smile.

(A water-off-the-duck's-back situation)
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stumptown



Joined: 11 Apr 2005
Location: Paju: Wife beating capital of Korea

PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 7:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

mateomiguel wrote:
I think I'm going to go with the smarta$$ version, because it would be consistent and makes me feel so much better. When one of my coworkers told me at lunch to finish my rice, I asked him "Are you my mother?" causing the whole table to laugh for like 5 minutes. And when one of my other coworkers asked me if I lived alone, I said "Why, are you going to come kill me?" getting a weird look and an end to the conversation.

When I was a teacher in this country, I was the most understanding, flexible waygook any Korean could ever want to speak to in conversation class. But now, they're paying me for skills I've actually studied. I don't have infinite patience when I'm not doing the easiest job in the world (teaching). Now, these Koreans can see mateomiguel unleashed!

Its payback time.


"Why? Are you going to come kill me?"
Too cool. I can't wait to use that one.
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Kimchieluver



Joined: 02 Mar 2005

PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 7:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree. Saying good morning to someone that sits next to you is absurdly hard and demeaning.
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RACETRAITOR



Joined: 24 Oct 2005
Location: Seoul, South Korea

PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 7:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It sounds like your coworker made a reasonable request and asked politely, so I'd have no problem doing that.

When I started my office job, I'd leave at the end of the day and only say bye to my coworkers. One of my coworkers mentioned I should say bye to my boss in his office also. I started doing that, and there hasn't been a problem since.
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antoniothegreat



Joined: 28 Aug 2005
Location: Yangpyeong

PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 7:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i think your coworker is being completly reasonable. he did nothing rude. he asked you to abide by his culture, which is where you live. he even initiated the conversation first.

is it really that big of a deal to say hi first every morning?

i can understand if you were back home and he wanted you to abide by korean culture, but you chose to move here, to it. adapt to the local culture. its not that hard, it doesnt take any time, it is not stupid or demeaning.
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