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What's it like raising mixed race children in Korea...?
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venus



Joined: 25 Oct 2006
Location: Near Seoul

PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 6:05 pm    Post subject: What's it like raising mixed race children in Korea...? Reply with quote

Would be interesting to hear what other expats in Korea feel about raising kids here.

This for me is one of the reasons I don't see it as a long term prospect.

Either raise mixed race kids and take them through the public school system where they'll be treated as outsiders.

Or put them through international schools which will cost you an arm and a leg.

At least that's how I see it.

Perhaps it isn't like that at all and there is a mid ground.

From what I've heard would be surprised though. Anyone know much about this issue...?

Anyone raising mixed race children here? How is it?

Just curious, not trying to be controversial. Cool
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djsmnc



Joined: 20 Jan 2003
Location: Dave's ESL Cafe

PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 6:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

There are a lot of mixed reactions about mixed children in Korea
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venus



Joined: 25 Oct 2006
Location: Near Seoul

PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 6:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

djsmnc wrote:
There are a lot of mixed reactions about mixed children in Korea


Obviously.

Anything constructive to add...?
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antoniothegreat



Joined: 28 Aug 2005
Location: Yangpyeong

PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 6:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Venus, I dont have any kids, but i can imagine what you are thinking. Koreans do not react well to anything different, and i can only wonder about the treatment a mixed child would receive. on one hand, many half and half kids look a lot like the "darker" race, my brother is caucasian, and his wife is samoan, their kid looks a lot more samoan and most people dont think he is half caucasian. i know a teacher here who is hawaiian and his wife is korean, their kid looks korean.
so maybe, if a child can speak korean, they wouldnt even know he is different. in fact he or she might be considered so beautiful, ( i am assuming you are caucasian) because he would have pale skin, big eyes, a high nose, blah blah blah.

if you are a female, then your child would take a korean husband's name, they would not be able to tell he is not 100% korean.

i am sure you have thought about this already, but that is what i have thought. i am sure a child could fit in.
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freshking



Joined: 07 Dec 2006

PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 7:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

In my opinion raising a mixed race kid in Korea would not be easy. I'm assuming that you mean a half white, half Korean kid. Unlike the last poster, I think most mixed race kids here stand out quite a bit. The early years would be fine, I would say until they are ready to go to school. I have a few friends who have married Korean women and have kids, and they seem to agree that they will leave Korea before their kids are old enought to go to school. Kids can be brutally mean to each other in any country, but I wouldn't want to expose my kid to the kind of xenophobia that's unfortunately still very prevalent here.
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venus



Joined: 25 Oct 2006
Location: Near Seoul

PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 7:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well I taught a full blooded Korean girl who was 16 at an adult Hakwan.

She grew up in Korea until about 10 yrs old and then her Mum's job took them to Hawaiai and then the States.

She came back here when she was 15 and had a HELL of a time.

Maybe it was partly adapting to the strictness and severity of Korean public schools (I work at one, so know what I'm on about) or maybe not.

Either way, even though she is full Korean and speaks fluent Korean, she said she was always treated as an outsider, and found if hard to make friends, so had to leave.

Felt guilty about making her Mum pay for her to go to International School, so dropped out of school and had private tutoring and went to the Hakwan.

Also something about the school not being able to find her records to prove she has credit for attending Middle / elementary school in Korea, so had to drop back a few grades...

Don't know the whole story, but it got me thinking anyway.

Havea friend with a mixed race kid and he said he doesn't fancy putting him through schooling here for fear he'll receive bad treatment and be excluded...

Is it really like that, or not...? I guess I can do a web search...

Anyone have any experience...
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Octavius Hite



Joined: 28 Jan 2004
Location: Househunting, looking for a new bunker from which to convert the world to homosexuality.

PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 7:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My buddy and his Korean wife had a little boy and they put him in preschool. He could speak Korean and English and the kids loved him because his dad was the only dad around (the Korean dads of course being too busy building the Samsung empire, lol).

However, about 9 months into preschool he started coming home asking when his dad was leaving. Dad was like, what????? It turns out that the other kids parents were filling the k-kids with the usual k-BS. Telling them that Dad was going to leave the family and go back to Canada and other sorts of foolishness.

In the end the family moved back to Canada and are happier than they could possibly be in K-land. Its still like 1955 here when it comes to race and sexuality so it is difficult to raise a mixed kid here.
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mytime



Joined: 15 Oct 2006

PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 7:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

There's a new foreigner here in my small town who has a korean wife and a son with her
He (the mixed-race boy) will start elementary school next year and the elementary boys in my hagwon said they cant wait for him to start at their school so they could bully him
They are only half-joking
Shame
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bellum99



Joined: 23 Jan 2003
Location: don't need to know

PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 7:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Korea would be great if there weren't so many Koreans here. Smile
Many people can be great but most are stupid. The looks, pointing, following, talking about you in Korean (they think we don't know Shocked), asking questions to detemine the amount of money you have ( 1: Job, 2: Apartment, 3: Car).

I love when I hear..Why don't you go home to your country? My kid just loves to have some ugly nasty lice filled dirty ajuma say "Honyora" to him while pointing at us and talking to her equally dirty little monkey boy. People will paint a rosy happy picture of how it is in Korea, but when it is bad...brother it can be bad.

I swear..the first Korean I see back home I will smile and ask:

"What's your job in Canada?...dishwasher" ,"Why don't you go home?"
"Did you come here because Korea is a toilet to live in?", "Why isn't your English better...why do you come to my country and not know English well?"
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Corporal



Joined: 25 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 7:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rolling Eyes

Maybe we should make this a sticky since it seems to get asked every two days or so, with everyone contributing his opinions on how and where his buddy's wife's sister's kids are being raised.

http://www.eslcafe.com/forums/korea/viewtopic.php?t=51794&highlight=mixed+race+kids

http://www.eslcafe.com/forums/korea/viewtopic.php?t=74180&highlight=mixed+race+kids

http://www.eslcafe.com/forums/korea/viewtopic.php?t=46920&highlight=mixed+race+kids

http://www.eslcafe.com/forums/korea/viewtopic.php?t=12896&highlight=parents+mixed+race+kids
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rocklee



Joined: 04 Oct 2005
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 8:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

They either have the best times because they're good looking or they don't because they're confused about where they fit in.

I've taught many mixed kids in Japan, most of them are doing fairly well for themselves (and Japan is even more racist than Korea IMO).
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peony



Joined: 30 Mar 2005

PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 8:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

on the flip side and although im sure its different now, Daniel Henney has said in an interview that he had a rough time growing up in the midwest US due to being of mixed race. he spoke of being confused when kids would make fun of him for being Asian as his dad was white and he wasnt yet really aware of race at the time
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Cheonmunka



Joined: 04 Jun 2004

PostPosted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 3:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Different people may have different experiences. My two have a great time. But they are only 4 and 6, western age.
Met a guy whose (mixed-race Rolling Eyes ) son is 25 years old. Didn't seem to be one of those questions that needed top be asked. Maybe it is not such a big deal.
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flakfizer



Joined: 12 Nov 2004
Location: scaling the Cliffs of Insanity with a frayed rope.

PostPosted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 4:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Octavius Hite wrote:

However, about 9 months into preschool he started coming home asking when his dad was leaving. Dad was like, what????? It turns out that the other kids parents were filling the k-kids with the usual k-BS. Telling them that Dad was going to leave the family and go back to Canada and other sorts of foolishness.

That is disgusting, but very believable. My wife has told me of several similar incidents involving her and our son. People have asked her, "Where is the father now?" or "Has he met his father?" Your story is worse though. I expect plenty of adults here to be idiots about this issue and older kids the world over tend to pick on those who are different, but to teach such garbage to pre-schoolers is unforgiveable.
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Cheonmunka



Joined: 04 Jun 2004

PostPosted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 7:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I went to our daughter's recital at pre-school. Half the audience were dads. They were obviously not "all out building the Samsung Empire."
I fear that second hand stories don't always ring true. Sometimes yes, but not always.
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