Korean Job Discussion Forums

[jajdude]

There are types and situations of course. I think most people can empathize. Given that women are often more empathic than men they might be more attuned to shyness. I think some people do find it an attractive quality. Some people say the world is world is full of loudmouths and arrogance, which may not be true, but they stand out more than the half who are more likely to watch than join the parade. Anyway I like to think I'm a likeable person and shyness is only part of the package, the big gut being the other part.

[kermo]

[carriedrake55]

A great friend of mine recently gave me a book called "The Highly Sensitive Person." This book was written by a Doctor of psychology, who goes on to prove scientifically that 15-20 % of the population are 'highly sensitive people' and have an uncommonly sensitive nervous system. This results in numerous behavior patterns that are often mislabaled as "shyness" or "introverted" characteristics. This book has given me alot of positive insight to my own personality and has clarified significant past issues. I highly recommend this empowering book to all the "shy" folks out there.

Check out the website for more information (including a self-test).


http://www.hsperson.com/index.html




Here's a sample from the homepage:




If you find you are a highly sensitive person, or your child is, then you need to be aware of the following points:

This trait is normal--it is inherited by 15 to 20% of the population, and indeed the same percentage seems to be present in all higher animals.
Being an HSP means your nervous system is more sensitive to subtleties. Your sight, hearing, and sense of smell are not necessarily keener (although they may be). But your brain processes information and reflects on it more deeply.
Being an HSP also means, necessarily, that you are more easily overstimulated, stressed out, overwhelmed.
This trait is not something new I discovered--it has been mislabeled as shyness (not an inherited trait), introversion (30% of HSPs are actually extraverts), inhibitedness, fearfulness, and the like. HSPs can be these, but none of these are the fundamental trait they have inherited.
The reason for these negative misnomers and general lack of research on the subject is that in this culture being tough and outgoing is the preferred or ideal personality--not high sensitivity. (Therefore in the past the research focus has been on sensitivity's potential negative impact on sociability and boldness, not the phenomenon itself or its purpose.) This cultural bias affects HSPs as much as their trait affects them, as I am sure you realize. Even those who loved you probably told you, "don't be so sensitive," making you feel abnormal when in fact you could do nothing about it and it is not abnormal at all.

[Junior]

Every personality type has its place in the grand scheme of things....

[Moldy Rutabaga]

[jajdude]

I've read before that some animals can be shy too, some dogs and dolphins, even some fish!

[captain kirk]

Funny word, isn't it, so Celtic. Sounds like the sound of wind or breeze, other worldly, "shy.....". I look at kids in classes and the shy kids, like I was as a kid, just seem to be making privacy for themselves 'far from the maddening crowd'. Maybe they are ashamed of themselves/don't like themselves and so are clammed up. But once they get talking, shoot the breeze, it's all good. The life of a kid is full of directives from higher powers that probably, to a kid, seem so fat-headed they just want to go on mental vacation from afar and daydream around it. Still waters run deep sort of thing.

Is it smart to be shy?

[sillywilly]

I'm very shy but people don't believe me. Its a weird kind of shy where I love to be on stage and be talking to people. I kind of overcompensate too, I guess. But then I have trouble making eye-contact with people on a day to day basis until they start conversations with me.

[jajdude]

Is it smart to be shy?

You ask that like it's a choice. Whatever the reason, social inhibitions are common. They serve a function. They prevent some from being jerks. They also bring on a household of pain for many. Understandably, if one wants to interact, if a guy wants to chat to a girl, maybe get something going, shyness can be a curse. I believe most people understand this. Sometimes shyness is misperceived though, as aloofness, as "toocoolness", sometimes as rudeness, as whatever, especially when the shy one is special in a way or two, with good looks or intelligence. I believe I have met several beautiful shy women and a few fine shy guys in my day. I'm pretty convinced from my reading and experience that shyness and social anxiety affect a hell of a lot of people. Shyness has been claimed to affect half the people as a personal feeling that interferes with how they want to be, and social anxiety or phobia a good ten percent or more. A search on the web can confirm this.

If I'm not mistaken sillywilly fits the above mentioned... (nice compliment hey?)

You may feel the type of shyness or anxiety said to plague such luminaries as Johnny Carson, Letterman, and Barbara Walters. They pull off a good show for the public but inwardly seethe with the cruelty of self-absorption.

[tesseract]

kermo wrote:

[trinity24651]