Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Castiliophile]

Things are going pretty well so far.

I hate myself and I hate life and I want to die most of my waking hours, and many of my dreaming hours aren't much better; I've been this way for many years; but there are a very few things in life that make me forget all this. One is drinking, and another is being in a classroom with cheerful, clever, enthusiastic, and intelligent Korean children who are knocking themselves out to learn English.

I am very fortunate that my school has an extremely high proportion of students who fit this profile. (They are so numerous, in fact, that they usually beat the less gifted into blessed, sullen silence.) During all but a few of my classes, I am so cheered by the natural happiness and motivation of these children that I completely forget myself and the usual longing for death, and I find myself turning mental (and sometimes physical) somersaults in the endless effort to help them master just a little bit more English.

Of course it is only a hagwon, and therefore I do not have the cushy hours and holiday schedule of many public schools and universities, and of the lucky individuals who hold such positions I am most bitterly envious; but I have taught both young and old adults before, and I MUCH prefer children. So I just can't win. I resent -- believe me, how viciously I resent -- the typical holiday-starved hakwon schedule; but at the same time I shudder at the memories of teaching adults here who knew enough English to be able to tell me all their disgusting opinions, philosophies, and outlooks on various Issues. How sweet by comparison is the chatter of a smiling, innocent eleven-year-old who merely (but passionately) wants to demonstrate that he knows the difference between "I go" and "I went"! He will not burden me with Judgments and Reflections on Matters of National, Religious, Ethnic, or Political Importance. He will only smile happily when I indicate to him that he's got the idea, or will frown briefly and quickly try again if I suggest that he's not quite on the mark. What pleasant company!

I've even got a few middle-school students that have enough life in them to make me behave very much like I used to when I was fresh out of teaching college and raring to go, decades ago. I ignore the hopelessly beaten-down ones as much as I can, you know the type, they make me sick, and if I can't rouse them within a few energetic tries, I write them off and concentrate on their zippier schoolmates.

I hope the school won't spring any nasty surprises on me as the months go by, because I would really like to report on what seems exceptional, that is, a hogwon experience that remains consistently positive throughout the contract period. But of course one of the essential aspects of life is its uncertainty, indeed, the overwhelming likelihood that misery, of one sort or another, will sooner or later surface and reassert itself as the typical human condition. I'll try to report now and then. In the meantime, I can honestly say that Korean schoolchildren are the most effective possible therapy for my suicidal urges.

[Ya-ta Boy]

You started drinking a night early, didn't you?

[trinity24651]

[bellum99]

Nice post OP.

[babtangee]

Should you really wait until things go bad? Wouldn't it be better to go out on a high note? Just a thought.

[rothkowitz]

If it's so far,so good ,keep it at that.

Prost!

[jajdude]

Great post OP. Interesting and funny and I'm glad to hear it's so far so good. A bit sad if it's only good young students keeping you away from the cliff, but sometimes I feel like that. As weird as they are, as attention deficit and goofy as they are, kids can really cheer me up sometimes. They are real characters, real spirits, not yet sunk into the morass of adulthood and all its nonsense and hypocrisy.

[Kimchieluver]

Good post!

[JeJuJitsu]

[captain kirk]

I totally agree. Korean kids are switched on and a joy to teach. And the adults? These delightful kids will become Korean adults! The horror!

[PimpofKorea]

Hanging with Korean kids has the opposite effect on me.....too much time with them and I want to hang myself in the bathroom.....

[Castiliophile]

[quote="babtangee"]Should you really wait until things go bad? Wouldn't it be better to go out on a high note? Just a thought.[/quote]

You understand little. Educate yourself:

www.ashbusstop.org

After you've read and absorbed all that, fire up a newsreader and start browsing the archives of alt.suicide.holiday and alt.suicide.methods. Don't bother speaking to me again on this topic before you've read at least a hundred well-chosen posts on those newgroups, particularly the first (you will find it easy, after reading a few dozen, to quickly cut to the really worthwhile musings).

I speak to you in this fashion because your suggestion is in fact a very provocative one, but it also reveals your lack of serious reflection on this matter. Please read what I've indicated. I absolutely refuse to discuss this AT ALL with anyone who isn't serious and obviously mature.

[Castiliophile]

[quote="jajdude"]Great post OP. Interesting and funny and I'm glad to hear it's so far so good. A bit sad if it's only good young students keeping you away from the cliff, but sometimes I feel like that. As weird as they are, as attention deficit and goofy as they are, kids can really cheer me up sometimes. They are real characters, real spirits, not yet sunk into the morass of adulthood and all its nonsense and hypocrisy.[/quote]

My warmest possible thanks for that comment; I believe you really understand my feelings. Upon reflection, I realize that students don't necessarily have to be smart to take my mind off the darkness; if they are slow, but cheerful, well-mannered, and willing to make an effort, they buoy my spirits every bit as much as the clever ones. One silly student in a class of mine hasn't two cents to rub together, intellectually speaking, but is so full of piss and vinegar, and good-fellowship, that I must daily stop myself from creating an egregious teacher's pet.

Your reply also indicates that you are under no illusions about the typical fate of all these charming children; I appreciate that.

[Castiliophile]

[quote="JeJuJitsu"][quote="Castiliophile"]t Korean schoolchildren are the most effective possible therapy for my suicidal urges.[/quote]

That means you've found your calling--teaching Korean kids. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. many people never really find their calling. If you want a public school job for your next contract, PM me, I'll give you my recruiter's info.[/quote]

I thank you for your understanding and consideration. However, I am most concerned to protect my anonymity; you will understand, of course, that heavy drinkers who are also severely mentally ill generally try, from pure survival instinct, to conceal their real natures. (Unless of course they are rich or powerful or otherwise hugely influential, which we expat English instructors are most consistently and comically NOT)

[babtangee]