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Atavistic
Joined: 22 May 2006
Location: How totally stupid that Korean doesn't show in this area.
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 Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 3:08 am Post subject: |
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I don't have a K-partner, but generally, when I complain to my friends about Korea, they all respond with variations of the following:
"I'm sorry a few Koreans have disappointed you, but think of how wonderful [insert-another-name-here] has been to you!"
"They wouldn't do this if you were Korean. Let me talk to them. What's the phone number?/Want to go now?" generally said with a lot of anger.
"I know, I hate it too." Usually said about the age-hierarchy here, by a woman who rarely uses even the -yo form with her profs.
"I don't understand them either." Usually said about dating.
"Your boss is horrible."
"You'll feel better tomorrow."
My friends are pretty darn understanding and they see flaws in this country, too, perhaps because a lot of them have lived abroad? I'm not sure. Even the one who speaks the least English and hasn't studied abroad sees flaws. Then again, when they start complaining about westerners, ex-pats, and international politics, I can point out flaws with them, too, without freaking out. |
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Roch
Joined: 24 Apr 2003
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 3:11 am Post subject: |
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| Atavistic wrote: |
I don't have a K-partner, but generally, when I complain to my friends about Korea, they all respond with variations of the following:
"I'm sorry a few Koreans have disappointed you, but think of how wonderful [insert-another-name-here] has been to you!"
"They wouldn't do this if you were Korean. Let me talk to them. What's the phone number?/Want to go now?" generally said with a lot of anger.
"I know, I hate it too." Usually said about the age-hierarchy here, by a woman who rarely uses even the -yo form with her profs.
"I don't understand them either." Usually said about dating.
"Your boss is horrible."
"You'll feel better tomorrow."
My friends are pretty darn understanding and they see flaws in this country, too, perhaps because a lot of them have lived abroad? I'm not sure. Even the one who speaks the least English and hasn't studied abroad sees flaws. Then again, when they start complaining about westerners, ex-pats, and international politics, I can point out flaws with them, too, without freaking out. |
You totally rule, eh.
Thanks a bunch. |
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Endesu
Joined: 24 Apr 2006
Location: Bucheon
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| Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 3:20 am Post subject: |
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I too b*tch about Korean men alot to my wife, and she wholeheartedly agrees with me, so no problem there.
However, when I discuss things like Dokdo or Korean feelings towards other countries, she tends to get a bit defensive, and I let her off.
But its good to let off steam sometimes, and she totally lets me, and she readily aknowledges that Korea is not paradise by any means. We both enjoy living here though  |
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RACETRAITOR
Joined: 24 Oct 2005
Location: Seoul, South Korea
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| Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 3:24 am Post subject: Re: Do You Badmouth Korea to Your Korean Partner? |
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I've gotten into this nasty habit. i generally really enjoy things American, but something that drives me nuts is the American man. don't get me wrong, i have a few American guy friends, but generally American men are...lack...seem to... well, they fall short of a lot of expectations from a human being.
when an American annoys me, talks carp about my country, threatens me physically, i am given an excuse to uphold my lofty generalization about American men.
the problem is this: i talk about it to my American wife. i unload all of my American-misgivings on her. i think i've brain-washed her.
we tend to meet others from all over the globe. conversations go like this:
other traveller: "So Hussein was hanged the other day"
my girlfriend: "The war is illegal. Get out of Iraq."
other traveller: "hmmmm"
me: "I like American TV shows..."
anyone else out there talk crap about America to their American partners? what's their reaction to it? |
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babtangee
Joined: 18 Dec 2004
Location: OMG! Charlie has me surrounded!
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| Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 3:32 am Post subject: |
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| Endesu wrote: |
However, when I discuss things like Dokdo... she tends to get a bit defensive, and I let her off.
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I'm still missing an ear from the time I mistakenly got into this debate with my wife. I'm not sure what happened to it. |
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JongnoGuru
Joined: 25 May 2004
Location: peeing on your doorstep
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| Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 4:10 am Post subject: |
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Even if one considers Korea to be the hellhole of the world, they'll badmouth it less the more they've seen firsthand of the world, and particularly of East Asia. This place just isn't as otherworldly to me as it seems to a lot of you.
Sincerely,
Smug B'stard |
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aldershot
Joined: 17 Jul 2006
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| Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 4:13 am Post subject: Re: Do You Badmouth Korea to Your Korean Partner? |
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| RACETRAITOR wrote: |
I've gotten into this nasty habit. i generally really enjoy things American, but something that drives me nuts is the American man. don't get me wrong, i have a few American guy friends, but generally American men are...lack...seem to... well, they fall short of a lot of expectations from a human being.
when an American annoys me, talks carp about my country, threatens me physically, i am given an excuse to uphold my lofty generalization about American men.
the problem is this: i talk about it to my American wife. i unload all of my American-misgivings on her. i think i've brain-washed her.
we tend to meet others from all over the globe. conversations go like this:
other traveller: "So Hussein was hanged the other day"
my girlfriend: "The war is illegal. Get out of Iraq."
other traveller: "hmmmm"
me: "I like American TV shows..."
anyone else out there talk crap about America to their American partners? what's their reaction to it? |
whuh? i like the racetraitor, but i don't get it. i just don't... ohhh... ahhh... i see it now. yep. er, nope. |
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ED209
Joined: 17 Oct 2006
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| Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 6:19 am Post subject: Re: Do You Badmouth Korea to Your Korean Partner? |
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| RACETRAITOR wrote: |
I've gotten into this nasty habit. i generally really enjoy things American, but something that drives me nuts is the American man. don't get me wrong, i have a few American guy friends, but generally American men are...lack...seem to... well, they fall short of a lot of expectations from a human being.
when an American annoys me, talks carp about my country, threatens me physically, i am given an excuse to uphold my lofty generalization about American men.
the problem is this: i talk about it to my American wife. i unload all of my American-misgivings on her. i think i've brain-washed her.
we tend to meet others from all over the globe. conversations go like this:
other traveller: "So Hussein was hanged the other day"
my girlfriend: "The war is illegal. Get out of Iraq."
other traveller: "hmmmm"
me: "I like American TV shows..."
anyone else out there talk crap about America to their American partners? what's their reaction to it? |
What a load of...
Sorry RT it made me giggle that's all |
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periwinkle
Joined: 08 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 10:49 pm Post subject: |
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| JongnoGuru wrote: |
The OP asks all posters (both sexes) about badmouthing Korea -- the country -- to their Korean partners and about the consequences of that. But so far, all the respondents have all been male. And they've nearly all put Korean men at the top of their (s)hit-lists. This sausage party we call Dave's Sausage Party Cafe really gets boring often.
Perhaps ajosshis are also the main, No. 1 gripe of Western women in Korea as well. Or perhaps not. I'd like to hear their replies to the OP. Do Western women come home after work and say (though in not so many words) to their Korean partner: "Gosh I'm so lucky you're not like most K-men. Because it's just like the male posters on Dave's say, K-men are the worst thing about Korea. For example, get a load of what my boss/cab driver/freak on the subway/pervert loitering in the stairwell/etc. did today" ? Or are they more diplomatic and sensitive to the feelings of their K-spouse/K-partner than I think most of us dudes tend to be? Or are they more miffed about the lack of a ready & cheap supply of Nine West shoes and booties? |
 Heh, heh, Guru. I know I don't have a bone to pick per say with Korean men. If I complain, it's about Korean society, in general, usually regarding some social norm that is, well, normal here, but abnormal back home. So obviously I have to put up or shut up, cuz it's not my country~
OP, to answer your question, I think it's very bad form to criticize Korea to your Korean SO. For example, my husband doesn't criticize the US, and I don't think I'd feel very good if he criticized Americans all the time (impressively, even while we were visiting last summer, he didn't complain once about anything. I guess he left that up to me ㅋㅋ). I'd start to wonder why he was with me if he disliked Americans!
I know a guy that goes off ALL the time about Korean men (#1) and Korean society (#2). He says some really, really vile stuff to anyone who will listen, including his wife. His wife is extremely tolerant, but their relationship isn't doing too well (there are other reasons besides his negative attitude, of course)~ |
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RACETRAITOR
Joined: 24 Oct 2005
Location: Seoul, South Korea
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| Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 10:58 pm Post subject: |
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| In case you didn't know, I'm not actually married to an American. |
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periwinkle
Joined: 08 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 11:29 pm Post subject: |
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| RACETRAITOR wrote: |
| In case you didn't know, I'm not actually married to an American. |
Race (nationality) traitor!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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ajgeddes
Joined: 28 Apr 2004
Location: Yongsan
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| Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 11:33 pm Post subject: Re: Do You Badmouth Korea to Your Korean Partner? |
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| RACETRAITOR wrote: |
I've gotten into this nasty habit. i generally really enjoy things American, but something that drives me nuts is the American man. don't get me wrong, i have a few American guy friends, but generally American men are...lack...seem to... well, they fall short of a lot of expectations from a human being.
when an American annoys me, talks carp about my country, threatens me physically, i am given an excuse to uphold my lofty generalization about American men.
the problem is this: i talk about it to my American wife. i unload all of my American-misgivings on her. i think i've brain-washed her.
we tend to meet others from all over the globe. conversations go like this:
other traveller: "So Hussein was hanged the other day"
my girlfriend: "The war is illegal. Get out of Iraq."
other traveller: "hmmmm"
me: "I like American TV shows..."
anyone else out there talk crap about America to their American partners? what's their reaction to it? |
You have been writing a lot of ultra-lame posts like this lately. Are you going for some kind of award or something? |
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Milwaukiedave
Joined: 02 Oct 2004
Location: Goseong
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| Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 12:07 am Post subject: |
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Yes, I have done that as well and I realize it's a bad habit to get into. Sometimes it's hard to see the good in a country your not from. There are some things I complain about, that my wife agrees though.
I have a Canadian friend who is also married to a Korean and they are expecting their first child next month. He called me a few days ago and was just completely down on being here anymore. He said to me, "Koreans are so cruel to each other."
A kind of strange story that happened on New Year's Day: We were walking down the street to go to the bank and then run to E-Mart when we came across a Korean guy (maybe in his early 40's) lying on the street. I saw him about a block ahead and neither of us are sure how he got there. I went up and snapped my fingers and tried to wake him up (I was pretty sure he was just passed out after drinking) and when he didn't respond I called the police. Many people just walked by him (which I floored me) without even asking him if he was ok. I checked his pulse and breathing and saw he was ok. The police came and stood him up and I'm not sure what happened after that because I left.
Anyway, I think most foreigners who have a Korean spouse air their frustrations about Korea from time to time. |
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Hollywoodaction
Joined: 02 Jul 2004
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| Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 12:21 am Post subject: |
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| Tarmangani wrote: |
| I try not to say anything about Korean people, but I do say a lot of negative things about Korean places. It's hard for me to justify riding the bus for three hours to go to a mountain that looks identical to the one five minutes from my apartment building/neighborhood (which looks identical to every other apartment/neighborhood in this country.) |
You can't expect people to stay in their neighborhood all the time. It's not about the mountain but the trip. |
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JongnoGuru
Joined: 25 May 2004
Location: peeing on your doorstep
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| Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 4:28 am Post subject: |
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| periwinkle wrote: |
| OP, to answer your question, I think it's very bad form to criticize Korea to your Korean SO. For example, my husband doesn't criticize the US, and I don't think I'd feel very good if he criticized Americans all the time (impressively, even while we were visiting last summer, he didn't complain once about anything. I guess he left that up to me ㅋㅋ). I'd start to wonder why he was with me if he disliked Americans! |
You've just reconfirmed something I've long observed. Western women in relationships or marriages with Korean men do, on the whole, a much better job than their male counterparts (W-guys in relationships/marriages with K-girls) of keeping the mean, pointless carping & venting about Korea/ns to a healthy minimum. I haven't exactly met dozens upon dozens of them, but of those I have, there hasn't been one married-to-a-Korean Western woman who was a nasty, petulant, whiny, Korea-bashing pain to her husband. So unlike the white-dude/K-chick couples one sees, like thiis guy you mention (he's just an extreme case of the very common malcontented whitey in Korea):
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| I know a guy that goes off ALL the time about Korean men (#1) and Korean society (#2). He says some really, really vile stuff to anyone who will listen, including his wife. His wife is extremely tolerant, but their relationship isn't doing too well (there are other reasons besides his negative attitude, of course)~ |
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