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RACETRAITOR
Joined: 24 Oct 2005
Location: Seoul, South Korea
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 Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 5:04 am Post subject: Re: Do You Badmouth Korea to Your Korean Partner? |
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| ajgeddes wrote: |
You have been writing a lot of ultra-lame posts like this lately. Are you going for some kind of award or something? |
No, just pointing out that the OP is ultra-lame. If you hate Koreans so much, you chose the wrong country to come to.
Lately this board has seemed a bit more racist than normal. It's lame and can only make things worse. |
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Hollywoodaction
Joined: 02 Jul 2004
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| Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 5:23 am Post subject: |
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| JongnoGuru wrote: |
| periwinkle wrote: |
| OP, to answer your question, I think it's very bad form to criticize Korea to your Korean SO. For example, my husband doesn't criticize the US, and I don't think I'd feel very good if he criticized Americans all the time (impressively, even while we were visiting last summer, he didn't complain once about anything. I guess he left that up to me ㅋㅋ). I'd start to wonder why he was with me if he disliked Americans! |
You've just reconfirmed something I've long observed. Western women in relationships or marriages with Korean men do, on the whole, a much better job than their male counterparts (W-guys in relationships/marriages with K-girls) of keeping the mean, pointless carping & venting about Korea/ns to a healthy minimum. I haven't exactly met dozens upon dozens of them, but of those I have, there hasn't been one married-to-a-Korean Western woman who was a nasty, petulant, whiny, Korea-bashing pain to her husband. So unlike the white-dude/K-chick couples one sees, like thiis guy you mention (he's just an extreme case of the very common malcontented whitey in Korea):
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| I know a guy that goes off ALL the time about Korean men (#1) and Korean society (#2). He says some really, really vile stuff to anyone who will listen, including his wife. His wife is extremely tolerant, but their relationship isn't doing too well (there are other reasons besides his negative attitude, of course)~ |
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Jonglo,
I suspect the attitudes vary between those two groups because of the degree of xenophobia that is directed at each of them (some to a lot at the foreign men who married Koreans and very little if any at all at the foreign women).
...but what concerns me the most is my students's lack of motivation and the racism and prejudices that my son would face if he grew up here. |
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oneofthesarahs
Joined: 05 Nov 2006
Location: Sacheon City
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| Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 7:28 am Post subject: |
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I had sort of an odd experience this weekend: I teach in a smallish city, so I thought it would be fun if I went to Seoul to try to hang out with some fellow ex-pats. After running into a lot of loud, obnoxious, drunken Westerners, I found myself AVOIDING them. I spent more time with Koreans during my vacation than Westerners, and I planned on spending the time making new Western friends.
I know you'll all scream apologist, but I think that Korean men and women are, on the whole, pretty nice (although I would say the younger generation is much easier to get along with than the older Koreans).
And yes, I badmouth Korea to my Korean boyfriend occasionally. He doesn't agree with me, nor does he defend Korea. He usually just gives me a backrub, because he knows that will shut me up and put me in a good mood. |
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Cheonmunka
Joined: 04 Jun 2004
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| Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 1:22 pm Post subject: |
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I hear yah.
Korean company is very cool.
But, I like spending quality time with my few western friends.
You know, generalisations are norm here, "Koreans this, ethnic Koreans that," Foreigners this. foreigners that." "Korea sucks, F@ck USA."
So, if you want to sound like a Nazi propogandist, or a boring bugger, then, by all means, use those classifications on a daily basis.
Some people in my (I guess, economically deficient) neighborhood throw trash anywhere. From cars to dumping it on the street. I never saw that anywhere in Apkujong, Mok-Dong, or generally in the Kangnam area.
But, it's not everone doing it. Just 2 or 3%. I can't blame all Koreans, but can blame a few individuals. Face to face. If possible.
You and I know that our other country's are not perfect. My wife has been affected by racism, and inconsideration (based on prejudice) in NZ. Some of that vicariously affected our family unit.
It's the same with Korea and me. |
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aldershot
Joined: 17 Jul 2006
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| Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 2:20 pm Post subject: Re: Do You Badmouth Korea to Your Korean Partner? |
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| RACETRAITOR wrote: |
| ajgeddes wrote: |
You have been writing a lot of ultra-lame posts like this lately. Are you going for some kind of award or something? |
No, just pointing out that the OP is ultra-lame. If you hate Koreans so much, you chose the wrong country to come to.
Lately this board has seemed a bit more racist than normal. It's lame and can only make things worse. |
lame? yowsers! ultra lame? super-duper yowsers!! mr. traitor, you've kicked yourself in the rear by responding in this thread. you've just made yourself MEGA-lame. yeah.
i don't hate koreans. truth be told, i don't even hang out with westerners anymore. haven't for a year and a half... i have a korean-only policy. Dave's is the only place i get my western dosage. can YOU claim such a feat? in my OP, i was merely using an example. remember, the question i pose is: "do you talk crap about KOREA (not koreaNs) to your k-partner"? pretty reasonable question.
mr. guru has it right: there's significant difference between western men/k-relationships and western women/k-relationships. |
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dog_disco
Joined: 25 Apr 2006
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| Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 3:10 pm Post subject: |
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"My wife has been affected by racism, and inconsideration (based on prejudice) in NZ"
I know exactly what you mean. I come from small town Canada + we got more staring or outright boorish behaviour ("Are you Chinese?", etc) than anything close to what we've seen here. Here it's more based on curiousity- Korea is not, generally a multi-cultural country. Canada doesn't even have that excuse. |
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periwinkle
Joined: 08 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 4:56 pm Post subject: |
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| Hollywoodaction wrote: |
| JongnoGuru wrote: |
| periwinkle wrote: |
| OP, to answer your question, I think it's very bad form to criticize Korea to your Korean SO. For example, my husband doesn't criticize the US, and I don't think I'd feel very good if he criticized Americans all the time (impressively, even while we were visiting last summer, he didn't complain once about anything. I guess he left that up to me ㅋㅋ). I'd start to wonder why he was with me if he disliked Americans! |
You've just reconfirmed something I've long observed. Western women in relationships or marriages with Korean men do, on the whole, a much better job than their male counterparts (W-guys in relationships/marriages with K-girls) of keeping the mean, pointless carping & venting about Korea/ns to a healthy minimum. I haven't exactly met dozens upon dozens of them, but of those I have, there hasn't been one married-to-a-Korean Western woman who was a nasty, petulant, whiny, Korea-bashing pain to her husband. So unlike the white-dude/K-chick couples one sees, like thiis guy you mention (he's just an extreme case of the very common malcontented whitey in Korea):
| Quote: |
| I know a guy that goes off ALL the time about Korean men (#1) and Korean society (#2). He says some really, really vile stuff to anyone who will listen, including his wife. His wife is extremely tolerant, but their relationship isn't doing too well (there are other reasons besides his negative attitude, of course)~ |
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Jonglo,
I suspect the attitudes vary between those two groups because of the degree of xenophobia that is directed at each of them (some to a lot at the foreign men who married Koreans and very little if any at all at the foreign women).
...but what concerns me the most is my students's lack of motivation and the racism and prejudices that my son would face if he grew up here. |
Do you mean lack of approval or something for the couple? Because when it comes to xenophobia, in general, I don't think it doesn't matter what sex you are. I, personally, could site of laundry list of examples, unfortunately. |
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ajgeddes
Joined: 28 Apr 2004
Location: Yongsan
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| Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 5:53 pm Post subject: |
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| dog_disco wrote: |
"My wife has been affected by racism, and inconsideration (based on prejudice) in NZ"
I know exactly what you mean. I come from small town Canada + we got more staring or outright boorish behaviour ("Are you Chinese?", etc) than anything close to what we've seen here. Here it's more based on curiousity- Korea is not, generally a multi-cultural country. Canada doesn't even have that excuse. |
I think I know what you are saying, but since when is asking if someone is Chinese bad behaviour? |
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dog_disco
Joined: 25 Apr 2006
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| Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 10:26 pm Post subject: |
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| ajgeddes wrote: |
| dog_disco wrote: |
"My wife has been affected by racism, and inconsideration (based on prejudice) in NZ"
I know exactly what you mean. I come from small town Canada + we got more staring or outright boorish behaviour ("Are you Chinese?", etc) than anything close to what we've seen here. Here it's more based on curiousity- Korea is not, generally a multi-cultural country. Canada doesn't even have that excuse. |
I think I know what you are saying, but since when is asking if someone is Chinese bad behaviour? |
Sorry- a bit of context required- imagine the question being shouted by drunken college student from a window across the street. Or from a passing car. |
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Hollywoodaction
Joined: 02 Jul 2004
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| Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 10:49 pm Post subject: |
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| dog_disco wrote: |
| ajgeddes wrote: |
| dog_disco wrote: |
"My wife has been affected by racism, and inconsideration (based on prejudice) in NZ"
I know exactly what you mean. I come from small town Canada + we got more staring or outright boorish behaviour ("Are you Chinese?", etc) than anything close to what we've seen here. Here it's more based on curiousity- Korea is not, generally a multi-cultural country. Canada doesn't even have that excuse. |
I think I know what you are saying, but since when is asking if someone is Chinese bad behaviour? |
Sorry- a bit of context required- imagine the question being shouted by drunken college student from a window across the street. Or from a passing car. |
Like it has happened to me in Korea? But the strangest experience was when I almost ran over kids as they began walking across the street after the light had turned green for me. Instead of running as fast as they could, they suddenly stopped in the middle of my lane when one of them spotted me behind the wheel, pointed his index in my direction and shouted loudly "Miguk sarram!?". Luckily for them, I wasn't moving very fast because I had anticipated that they would jaywalk. |
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