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Newbie
Joined: 07 Feb 2003
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 Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 7:46 pm Post subject: 2 Koreanisms explained |
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I'm recently married and having a kid soon... learning a lot about Korean family life. I now have keen insights into 2 korean problems.
#1 The large amount of whiny, spoiled, momma's boys here: apparently it is quite common for babies to share their parents bed until they are 6 or 7 years old.
#2 The large amount of married Korean men into prostitutes: having your kid share your bed for 6 or 7 years certainly puts a damper on the sex life. Not exucsing the rampant prostitution, just saying I finally "get it".
Sorry to all the decent Korean men out there, I know there's a bunch of you. |
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uberscheisse
Joined: 02 Dec 2003
Location: japan is better than korea.
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| Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 7:53 pm Post subject: |
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here's another one...
"ok-ok-ok-ok-ok" means "please stop talking, i'm not listening to you, and i'm going to do what i was planning to do, even though your assessment and input (that i had asked for) was 100% correct" |
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jdog2050
Joined: 17 Dec 2006
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| Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 9:30 pm Post subject: |
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| uberscheisse wrote: |
here's another one...
"ok-ok-ok-ok-ok" means "please stop talking, i'm not listening to you, and i'm going to do what i was planning to do, even though your assessment and input (that i had asked for) was 100% correct" |
Oh god, used to get that from my old english department supervisor. Basically, he had no power, and yet we'd have these weekly meetings asking our input. He'd just "ok" us, and tow the party line because, well, there really wasn't anything else he could do. |
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Qinella
Joined: 25 Feb 2005
Location: the crib
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| Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 11:47 pm Post subject: |
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My mom told me that she was advised by a pediatrician, shortly after she gave birth to her first son, to put the baby alone in its own room a few weeks after birth. The problem was that he was crying constantly throughout the night, demanding to be fed. A couple nights of alone time screaming for hours on end and there was never another problem (though he remained a whiny baby for over a decade  ).
Sleeping with my kid and wife for 6-7 years? Forget about it. That would drive a man insane. |
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hellofaniceguy
Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Location: On your computer screen!
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| Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 1:10 am Post subject: Re: 2 Koreanisms explained |
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| Newbie wrote: |
I'm recently married and having a kid soon... learning a lot about Korean family life. I now have keen insights into 2 korean problems.
#1 The large amount of whiny, spoiled, momma's boys here: apparently it is quite common for babies to share their parents bed until they are 6 or 7 years old.
#2 The large amount of married Korean men into prostitutes: having your kid share your bed for 6 or 7 years certainly puts a damper on the sex life. Not exucsing the rampant prostitution, just saying I finally "get it".
Sorry to all the decent Korean men out there, I know there's a bunch of you. |
on number 1...I can't see a real woman allowing this to happen if she cared about her husband/marriage.
Paying for sex....I suppose if she/he has no technique, style...is a dead fish....what choice would one have? |
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Corporal
Joined: 25 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 3:44 am Post subject: Re: 2 Koreanisms explained |
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| Newbie wrote: |
#1 The large amount of whiny, spoiled, momma's boys here: apparently it is quite common for babies to share their parents bed until they are 6 or 7 years old. |
Simply sleeping in a parent's bed does not make a whiny spoiled child, though. It's certainly not a new idea or unique to Korean families.
http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/sleep/small.html
It wasn't until 200 years ago that a few cultures began to construct dwellings with more than one room, and even today, such sleeping privacy is rare except in more affluent societies. The majority of people around the world still live in one-room shelters where all activities take place.
Differences in attitude toward sleep in general were equally clear between the two cultures. American parents used lullabies, stories, special clothing, bathing, and toys to ritualize the sleep experience, whereas Mayan parents simply let their babies fall asleep when they did, with no folderol. When the researcher explained to the Mayan mother how babies were put to bed in the US, they were shocked and highly disapproving, and expressed pity for the American babies who had to sleep alone. They saw their own sleep arrangements as part of a larger commitment to their children, a commitment in which practical consideration plays no part. It did not matter to them if there was no privacy, or if the baby squirmed at night - closeness at night between mother and baby was seen as part of what all parents do for their children.
I personally don't co-sleep, because I like my (our) privacy at night, but there's nothing at all wrong with it. Nobody says you have to have sex only in bed, anyway. Wait till the kid is asleep and do it on the kitchen table if you want. |
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PimpofKorea
Joined: 09 Dec 2006
Location: Dealing in high quality imported English
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| Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 3:47 am Post subject: |
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| One of my ex-girlfriend's mom in the states let her youngest son sleep with her till the kid was like 14 years old.......that kid is definitely going to be a fruitloop when he is an adult. |
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Benicio
Joined: 25 May 2006
Location: Down South- where it's hot & wet
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| Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 6:46 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
#1 The large amount of whiny, spoiled, momma's boys here: apparently it is quite common for babies to share their parents bed until they are 6 or 7 years old.
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I mentioned this phenomenon quite a while back in another discussion and many posters called "B.S." on it. They simply would not believe me. I learned it my first year here when one of my co-teachers told me he hadn't had sex with his wife in 7 years- the age of his youngest child. They all sleep together in the same bed, so he is never alone with his wife.
| Quote: |
on number 1...I can't see a real woman allowing this to happen if she cared about her husband/marriage.
Paying for sex....I suppose if she/he has no technique, style...is a dead fish....what choice would one have? |
Hellofaniceguy, welcome to Korea! Dude, wake up and read "The Koreans" by Michael Breen. Or, simply ask people around you.
After a married couple has a few kids, their sex life basically dies. All of the mother's love and devotion goes toward rasing the kids. The husband becomes just like another child that she must cook and clean for. He must seek gratification elsewhere, and they often do, becoming a peripheral character in their own homes.
Breen states, correctly, that "most Koreans would crawl a million miles over broken glass for their mothers. They would not for their fathers". |
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Captain Corea
Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 6:51 am Post subject: |
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| Breen sure does like his generalizations. |
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Benicio
Joined: 25 May 2006
Location: Down South- where it's hot & wet
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| Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 7:21 am Post subject: |
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| Hi Captain! |
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Benicio
Joined: 25 May 2006
Location: Down South- where it's hot & wet
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| Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 7:27 am Post subject: |
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And so it begins!
Do I honestly have to post a disclaimer every time that says "This post is speaking in general terms about the Korean people. Of course, it does not apply to absolutely 100% of Koreans or Albanians or Djiboutians, but it does cover a significant majority of them to be very relevant"?
I guess so because there's always somebody piping in that says "That's not true because I know someone that that does not apply to". Well, congratulations to that person for finding an exception!
My question for you, are all generalizations false?
Wouldn't saying "yes" be a generalization itself? |
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Captain Corea
Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 7:32 am Post subject: |
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So going off of that then.. I suppose you'd have statistical data to back up any generalizations?
Honestly, I know what generalizations are... but they are sometimes used as a spring-board for racism (not at all saying that that was the direction of this thread). |
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Corporal
Joined: 25 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 7:57 am Post subject: |
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[quote="Benicio"]
| Quote: |
I mentioned this phenomenon quite a while back in another discussion and many posters called "B.S." on it. They simply would not believe me. I learned it my first year here when one of my co-teachers told me he hadn't had sex with his wife in 7 years- the age of his youngest child. They all sleep together in the same bed, so he is never alone with his wife.
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I'm calling BS on this right now. First of all, if they really hadn't had sex in seven years, there were other issues going on (which your source probably wasn't about to share with his foreign co-worker  ) unrelated to simply having had a child. As if he could never be alone with his wife. Hell, they could have got it on while the kid was at one of seven hagwons from dawn to dusk.
The whiners do like to have it both ways though, don't they? Either Koreans are horrible parents who are unconcerned for their children's well-being, or they smother them with affection to the extent that they can have no love lives whatsoever. Yeah. Right. |
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huffdaddy
Joined: 25 Nov 2005
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| Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 8:14 am Post subject: Re: 2 Koreanisms explained |
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| Corporal wrote: |
| Nobody says you have to have sex only in bed, anyway. Wait till the kid is asleep and do it on the kitchen table if you want. |
Isn't that what hagwons are for?
Unless they've squeezed a bed into the kitchen, all of the families in my complex (16 15-story buildings) are sleeping together. Maybe not in the same bed, but in the same room. |
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Juregen
Joined: 30 May 2006
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| Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 8:34 am Post subject: |
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[quote="Corporal"]
| Benicio wrote: |
| Quote: |
I mentioned this phenomenon quite a while back in another discussion and many posters called "B.S." on it. They simply would not believe me. I learned it my first year here when one of my co-teachers told me he hadn't had sex with his wife in 7 years- the age of his youngest child. They all sleep together in the same bed, so he is never alone with his wife.
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I'm calling BS on this right now. First of all, if they really hadn't had sex in seven years, there were other issues going on (which your source probably wasn't about to share with his foreign co-worker ) unrelated to simply having had a child. As if he could never be alone with his wife. Hell, they could have got it on while the kid was at one of seven hagwons from dawn to dusk.
The whiners do like to have it both ways though, don't they? Either Koreans are horrible parents who are unconcerned for their children's well-being, or they smother them with affection to the extent that they can have no love lives whatsoever. Yeah. Right. |
People also forget that Korean grandparents love to take your kid of your hands for a couple of days to show it to all their friends and such.
Then lets not forget the Noribangs (kindergartens?), where kids are put during the day.
There are ample opportunities. |
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