Korean Job Discussion Forums

[khyber]

I'm wondering if someone could help me to use slightly better french in this song based on my basica translation.
I know htat some things are awkward or wrong; tell me if it's unnacceptable.
Thanks for your help (and assume I know where the accents are)

Aller de pair nous deux de ce que jue reve
nous marcherions le long des fleuves celebres
et leurs yeux se doreraient dans la lueur de ton couer
mais mon couer serait soupconneaux toujour
(Translate):
To walk/go hand in hand is what I dream
wed walk along the famous rivers
and eyes would bask in the glow of my heart
but my heart will always be suspicious

ma tete est pleine de vous comme nous dansons dans le vent
il fait froid mais je suis chaud et tu me touche doucement
les feuilles descendent doucement sous la pluie sur le fleuver
et pendant qu'ils descendent vous etes emeuve
(Translate):
my head is full of you as we dance in the wind
it's cold but i am warm and you touch me softly
the leaves fall softly in the rain on the river
and when they sink you are touched

les homme pres du fleuve nous observent marcher
j'ai trouve mon amour mains ils doivent rechercher
j'espere qu'ill ne voient pas leurs amour pres de moi
parce que je ne peux pas seul passer ce soir
(Translate):
the men around the river, watch us walk
I have found my love but they must search (or "must keep searching")
i hope they don' see their love beside me
because I can't spend tonight alone


It really seems that it's easy to write a sad song in another language...unless it's just french...
ps...if you want to hear it sunged: (it's called "La Marche")...
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=106704941
And thank you SOOOO much for any help you can give