Korean Job Discussion Forums

[wylies99]

It was a mess and I got too upset about it, but it was a BS move followed by the usual "cultural differences" BS.

I have a Korean co-teacher for morning Kindy, and another (part-timer) for afternoon elementary level. With the Kindy, we have to serve them lunch (around noon), and sit with them. The afternoon co-teacher strolled into the room where the kids eat, jumped in front of the line, and served herself. She did this before and the director assured me she would be told to stop.
She has nothing to do with Kindy and the food is ONLY for the kindy kids and Kindy teachers, and Kindy staff. We ALWAYS serve the kids first before we grab anything (whatever is left- it's usually a lot).
I looked at the Kindy co-teacher, who shrugged her shoulders, and I walked out into the hallway and really let the afternoon co-teacher have it, verbally-
"That food is for the Kindy",
"We always serve the kids, first"
Things like that- well, she yelled back that I'm a so-and-so (true, but besides the point) and I have no right to tell her what to do.
At this point, the director got involved, and he told me he agreed with me, but wouldn't say anything to her- he kept facing me.
She tried to barge into my office and grab me.
She told me that she's an adult and "Adults eat first in Korea" and that "In Korea, rules aren't followed" (no kidding, I know all about that).
The director also told me that in Korea "rules aren't followed" (wonderful).
I told her to stay out of my way and I told the director and BOTH co-teachers that if ANY parents call about the loud argument (has happened before) tell them the TRUTH about what happened and don't blame it on the "crazy American."
Nothing more was said until later in the day when the Kindy co-teacher started whining about how I shouldn't yell in front of the students (the door was closed), and she was more worried about hurting feelings than standing up to someone who was wrong.

I don't care. In case you haven't already guessed, there's a lot of bad blood between just about everyone at this hogwan. The other native speakers pay little attention to their work. I know that at least one of the Korean co-teachers badmouth me to the parents, (students have told me), and the director acts like he works for the part-time Korean teacher.
She's the only one paid on time, and she uses the school to set up outside privates for herself and others- including a former native speaker who should just move on. It's a bad situation.

[EFLtrainer]

Sounds like the boss and the part-timer have a thing going...

[ilovebdt]

[HAITAITIGERZ]

whats the big deal?? if there's enough food for everyone ... it's not like the korean teacher is eating the last dish... ideally, in a perfect world, but damn, is this worth stressing about ... losing your cool like that and yelling over something so trivial? you should have just talked to the director everytime the teacher did that and let him handle it ... i don't think anyone (kids, director, the k teacher) expected such an outburst/confrontation over something so trivial so soon ... life is hard enough as it is, especially working as an esl teacher - learn to pick your battles better and let the director handle it ... or was this outburst building up and really had nothing to do with the food and the kindy kids?????

[markhan]

[Hyeon Een]

Why do you have a bad relationship with your coworkers and boss? Is there some history you can fill us in with?

If the other native speakers don't have a problem, and you do, there's probably a problem with you. I may be totally wrong and misread the situation, but you didn't give us any background details.

Is your problem, really, that an adult teacher at your school cut in front of some kindy kids? Is that it? Or was this just a final straw in some longstanding grievances you had which just needed a spark to set them off?

PS. I cut in front of kids in line too.

[sjk1128]

I cut in line in front of kids too. I might not do it in another country, but this is Korea. They whine a little, but they consider it my right -- since I'm older, a teacher, etc. - and sometimes I just want to maximize my break time. I can't see why it's such a big deal either.

I also don't get upset if old people get in line in front of me at my local grocery store. If they're quick about it and only have one item, it doesn't hurt much. Besides, I know they think it's their "right." This really is a cultural difference, isn't it? It seems to me that you can choose not to jump in line in front of people of lower status if you thnk that is some kind of absolute cultural rule, but you can't really blame Korean people for following their own rule system and not yours.

[Qinella]

Wow..

Did you really make an issue out of a teacher going in front of students. WHO FREAKIN CARES. In case you have not noticed, Korea is a structured society. There are clear definitions of who is on top of whom. If you're standing around letting the kids go in front of you, I got news for you: you are the sucker.

So you made a big deal about your boss saying that rules aren't followed in Korea. Well, is your boss fluent in English? Does s/he understand the subtle nuances of English grammar to an extent that s/he won't be misunderstood on a minor point? It could've meant that rules don't apply equally to everyone, right? And of course, that is true of any society.

It's unbelievable that you made a fuss about this. It's absolutely mindbending that you felt compelled to write about it on the Internet. You were probably hoping for pity, but you do not deserve it in the slightest.

[Hyeon Een]

[SuperFly]

I'm convinced that there's a heck of a back story on this that you haven't related to us. Anyhoo, it's a little odd that someone would get their panties in a wad over some adult cutting in front of the line.

Honestly, there are a lot of better and more constructive things you could be doing with your time. This post makes you look like you have anger issues...I'm not saying that you do have them...but the post, well go back and read it again, tell me what you think.

My advice: Get a job teaching adults. You won't have to deal with Co-teachers.

[jmbran11]

You yelling at her in front of others = losing face, especially if she is older or more senior than you. I have to say, I would be pissed if a teacher yelled at me in front of my students. I've had to bite my tongue several times to avoid doing it myself when I was displeased with the behavior of colleagues. And, frankly, if anyone who was not my superior whined at me about following the rules, I would tell him/her to shove it.

But, it's clear, you just don't like this girl. Maybe it's for good reason. One way or another, you'll get a reputation for starting trouble (e.g. conflict) in a society that values harmony.

However, just to let you know that you are not alone, my husband goes crazy when people cut in front of us in line (movies, bus, etc.) and considers it a personal sign of disrespect. I've seen him get into it with more than one ajuma on the subway. So, really, you just need a healthy way to vent your frustration (martial arts maybe?).

[jlb]

The longer I'm in Korea, the more I see that there are certain things to not let slide (getting paid late or not enough, lots of extra work that's not in your contract, a moldy apartment, etc) and then certain things to just let go and not worry about (having to go out for the school dinner once a month or writing reports once a month, etc).

This situation seems to be one that I would just let slide. It kind of concerns you but not really. Who really cares if she cuts in line? I also have a feeling that there is more to the situation than you're telling us...some previous bad blood of some sort with that teacher. If you freak out over these little things and cause people to lose face, it's going to go downhill for you at that school very fast and you might end up without a job.

Play it cool and don't stress about the little stuff! It's Korea! Not America! Of course it will be different from home.

[Privateer]

Why would you get upset over a rule in your school that clearly isn't really a rule because no-one cares about it and that doesn't hurt either you or anyone else?

You're probably very stressed. Or you have an unusually bureaucratic mindset.

[Son Deureo!]

Arguing with a teacher co-worker in front of students is never kosher. It makes students lose respect for both of you and undermines your authority.

Whether you were right or wrong, you really should have waited until you could speak to her, or your boss, privately.

Since your boss obviously doesn't care about this, it's time for you to stop worrying about it.

[willneverteachagain]

losing face? pick your battles?
what kind of stupid responses are these?

he's not korean, losing face means nothing. If it were up to most of u,
u wouldn't pick any battles and be door mats the rest of ur lives.
Maybe u should re read the OPs title, that might give u a hint b4 giving rediculous resonses. Sometimes i think most of u are trolls
and other times i think you are white korean people