Korean Job Discussion Forums

Adventurer · Joined: 28 Jan 2006

I wonder what males or females think of the idea of dating a friend. Is it worth the hassle? Do you have to be extremely compatible to have a very good relationship? What are the pros and the cons? Is there a pretty good chance if you understand each other as friends that you can get along as lovers? I am not in that situation exactly, but the thought has crossed my mind regarding a certain friend, but I am trying to be conservative and cautious.

RACETRAITOR · Joined: 24 Oct 2005 Location: Seoul, South Korea

I only date outside of my social circle.

A few years ago, my sister and her two best friends all had a crush on the same guy. My sister and friend A battled over the guy, and he went with friend B. The relationship didn't last, and they broke up. My sister started dating the guy, and friend B stopped talking to her, even though they'd been best friends their entire lives.

So in conclusion: listen when they say "bros before hos" and "sisters before misters."

mindmetoo · Joined: 02 Feb 2004

As men, we seem to have no problem with dating our best woman friend. It's easy to have a woman friend. It's not so easy to find a GF.

Women, however, generally seem to have issues with it. Other than fat chicks, most women can get a BF if they really want and are willing to play loose with their standards. But a true male friend is rare. Most women are not under the fantasy their BF is going to be the last guy they date. So why ruin that rare gem, a true male friend, for a guy you're gonna have to bounce a year later?

ChimpumCallao · Joined: 17 May 2005 Location: your mom

i started dating my best friend in korea about 6 months after we started hanging out and we're still together three years in (and gettin' hitched)

mole · Joined: 06 Feb 2003 Location: Act III

Adventurer:
Are you doing some interpersonal interaction thesis?
Not being critical, this is a likely forum to get some feedback, albeit non-verifiable.
You've raised several legitimate issues, and I'm waiting for the one I can answer definitively. Cool

Adventurer · Joined: 28 Jan 2006

mole · Joined: 06 Feb 2003 Location: Act III

Adventurer:

Your style is very scientific, which I can appreciate.
But relationships in any configuration you've presented us, are not.
All alien to me. I'm a Hedonist, I think. Though I never thought so 'til
you came along asking so much. Bah.
I can make some snide Dave's-like comments along the way, but not offer much helpful.

Embarassed

kermo · Posted: Sat Jan 27, 2007 3:33 am Post subject:

I've never had a boyfriend who wasn't a good friend first. That's just how I roll.

annabel · Joined: 12 Jun 2006 Location: Daegu

I think the key to having a good romantic relationship is to have a good foundation of friendship to build it on... so if you have a good friend who you end up being attracted to, so much the better!

The scary part is the possibility of losing the friendship if there's a breakup one day... my friends mean so much to me, I'd be terrified of losing a close friend... that being said, I'm just about to try dating an old friend. And yes, I'm really scared of losing his friendship one day if something happens... but I guess if someone cares enough about you, they will do whatever it takes to keep the friendship. I would.

RACETRAITOR · Joined: 24 Oct 2005 Location: Seoul, South Korea

By the way, in Korea it seems like the idea of dating a friend is much more accepted. If you get to know a girl over a few weeks, she's more likely to say "Sure, let's go on a date" rather than "Let's just be friends."

Dexter Sword · Joined: 25 Jan 2007 Location: London

VanIslander · Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 12:39 am Post subject:

Many women want to become friends first and then see where that goes.

For at least some of us men it just never happens that way. If what develops is friendship then that's all it ever becomes. Except in those cases when one has all along had feelings held in check, in which case, the "just friends" nature of the relationship beforehand was simply not true.

hellofaniceguy · Joined: 10 Jan 2003 Location: On your computer screen!

If you want to remain friends...don't date a friend.

contrarian · Joined: 20 Jan 2007 Location: Nearly in NK

Back in my dating years, long time go in a galaxy far away, I tried very hard to stay friends with all of the girls I dated.

One such event was quite funny. I was one my honeymoon and decided to drop in on some old friends. My bew bride standing beside me I knocked on a door. This lovely thing comes out (she was very good looking) threw her arms around my and gave me a hug and a kiss.

She then looked at my wife and said I don't think I should have done that!

General laughter. After the lust slows down the friendship stays.

Young FRANKenstein · Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 2:36 am Post subject:

I would prefer dating a friend than chatting up and asking out a (near-)total stranger. My problem is that by the time I decide, "Hey! I really like her. Maybe we should DATE!" we're so far into the Friend Zone, she can't see me as more than that. It's only one of the curses I live under.