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NEED ADVICE FOR A BELEAGUERED COLLEAGUE
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stevemcgarrett



Joined: 24 Mar 2006

PostPosted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 7:46 pm    Post subject: NEED ADVICE FOR A BELEAGUERED COLLEAGUE Reply with quote

A co-worker of mine, a teacher in his late 50's from New Zealand, has a persistent problem with one of his neighbors. And it's beginning to affect his work performance, as he's fatigued a lot.

He lives in a high-rise apartment complex with a watchman and manager. His neighbors who live just above him, a young Korean couple, are noisy to no end. (Every other resident around him is as quiet as a church mouse).

They don't walk on their floor; they stomp. They have one of those pesky little toy dogs that yaps incessantly for no reason other than to get attention. The couple keeps odd hours; going to bed sometimes around 10 p.m. only to awake at 3 a.m. to watch TV or play their stereo. Or staying up half the night even on weeknights doing the same. (His bedroom is directly below their living room, which only compounds the problem).

At first he tried to ignore it all--he's a patient and really nice guy by anyone's standard. But he's a very light sleeper and the TV noise wakes him up. Finally, he complained to the guard who in turn went to talk to his neighbor. The couple refused to open their door for either of them to discuss the matter. My colleague doesn't speak Korean, so he got a letter translated and put it in their mailbox with his apartment number listed. No response. Things got a bit better: the dog only yip-yips now in the afternoon. But the other noise continued unabated. So my co-worker complained to another guard (with the help of an interpreter) who seemed more sympathetic but the same thing happened when they went to ring the door bell.

(His apartment, incidentally, is owned by the university where we teach; the couple upstairs are not affiliated with the university from what the manager told him. And the manager seems reticent to get involved for some reason. Once my colleague tried talking to a neighbor of this couple but the older woman refused to say anything, just shaking her head.)

Does anyone have any constructive (as in realistic, informed) advice to give for this situation? He hasn't called the cops because he doubts they'd intervene and he's reluctant to stir up a hornet's nest. Do Korean police get involved in such matters? Can he complain to university staff that deal with foreign faculty? Or what?
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Thunndarr



Joined: 30 Sep 2003

PostPosted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 7:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ear plugs?
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kimchi_pizza



Joined: 24 Jul 2006
Location: "Get back on the bus! Here it comes!"

PostPosted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 8:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm sure he is a nice guy, but it's not going to help. He'll probably have to take matters into his own hands and get tough. Pounding on their door and telling/yelling for them to quiet down (in English) is my sincere advice.

Also since he is 50 and they are much younger he can do that, play the age-card and get away with it. This is Korea and respect and obeying ones elders is still followed at least some-what.
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Hanson



Joined: 20 Oct 2004

PostPosted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 8:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, being nice is going to get your friend nowhere, at least, in this situation.

My advice would be to knock/pound on their door when the noise is too much, as often/long as needed, and at whatever time it happens. Seems harsh, but what the neighbour is doing is unacceptable.

I had a minor problem with a neighbour who would turn on their tv incredibly loud way too early in the morning - we're talking five or six o'clock. I had to pound on their door for awhile, several times, but they eventually stopped. I have a feeling the tv had an alarm setting or something, because it would 'go off' at roughly the same time.

That being said, I've no idea if that would work for OP's friend, but I do believe that he has to get tough to solve this. Obviously the correct and polite way hasn't worked.
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clyde



Joined: 09 Jan 2006

PostPosted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 8:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi there. I have a suggestion. I am actually a fairly loud person myself, not on purpose but just naturally. I play guitar and my girlfriend and I talk loudly and kid around alot, plus I like my music fairly loud. I wasnt sure how it worked in Korea so I just lived my life normally, and if it was too loud, I figured that someone would tell me. Well I got louder and louder, had parties and everything, no one said anyhting. Then one day about 2 in the morning when I was listening to music, there came a thunderous bang on my door, it was so loud that I grabbed a butcher knife and ran to the door to catch the person, only to find out that the perpetrator slinked off into the night. Guess I was too loud after all. I guess its a testament to the Korean absence of decorum and coutesy. Had someone just came and told me, or at least point to their ears with a disgruntled visage, I would have adjusted my noise level no problem. Now I am really loud heehee. Anyway forgive the digression. The Korea way is devoid of anything resembling logic or propriety, they seem to think that instilling fear and threatening violence solves anything. My advice (seriously) tell your frein to sneak up and boot their door as hard as he can, and then run away. Good Luck
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rothkowitz



Joined: 27 Apr 2006

PostPosted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 9:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I moved into the 10th floor of an officetel in summer.There are 2 metre long blinds which the room salon or wahtever hussy would allow to tonk-tonk after going out or passing out.

We lived through it at first(summer frays the nerves),then we took the path of reasonability asking her to put a stopper in front of the bamboo bit.That was quickly ignored and the wife went up to talk to her(via videophone)

I heard the neighbours response(from the open upstairs window)and told my wife when she came down who promptly craned her head through our window and asked "Shib bal yon ah!Mol a gu so-ah??!Shyang yon-ah!Iwri ya!"

We balance excessive politness and being genuinely f-ed off.

Our last place in Brisbane though was genuine torture.International students are genuine pricks.With a few friends at easy access yet dimwits when spoken to in person.

It became a noise war,which believe me I hate.They were arab,i thank my lucky stars they were't Brazilian.

What can yr Kiwi mate do?Speak up or split?

Depends.Deposits are huge here and kiwis are incredulous about it(myself included).After hearing a guy getting seriously beaten down in the house above in my old house in mangy Moran I let it go and hoped that my contract would just finish sooner.

The only real solution is to live where the building materials keep it self-contained.
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kat2



Joined: 25 Oct 2005
Location: Busan, South Korea

PostPosted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 10:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If you ask your students "what would you do if you have a noisy neighbor?", you will get the following answers:
1) nothing
2) ear plugs
3) move to a different apartment

Confrontation simply doesn't happen over this kind of thing. I'm surprised the guard would even say anything to them. If I were him, I would just start ringing the bell for 30 minutes until they answer it. Then tell them to shut the hell up. They are goign to try to avoid him at all costs, just tell him not to let that happen.

I have a neighbor who leaves her trash in the hall for days, sometimes weeks. In Summer, it smells, attracts bugs, and gets nasty. When its more than I can handle, I start ringing the bell. She never answers, but the trash is gone later that day.
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jmbran11



Joined: 19 Jan 2006
Location: U.S.

PostPosted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 10:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your friend needs to talk to the university and explain that he wants a new apartment, or he won't renew his contract. That couple probably owns their apartment, and I doubt that much can be done to quiet them if they are stubborn about it.
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princess



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia

PostPosted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 10:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

kat2 wrote:
If you ask your students "what would you do if you have a noisy neighbor?", you will get the following answers:
1) nothing
2) ear plugs
3) move to a different apartment

Confrontation simply doesn't happen over this kind of thing. I'm surprised the guard would even say anything to them. If I were him, I would just start ringing the bell for 30 minutes until they answer it. Then tell them to shut the hell up. They are goign to try to avoid him at all costs, just tell him not to let that happen.

I have a neighbor who leaves her trash in the hall for days, sometimes weeks. In Summer, it smells, attracts bugs, and gets nasty. When its more than I can handle, I start ringing the bell. She never answers, but the trash is gone later that day.
I say the answer is ear plugs. Also, revenge. Wait until they are actually quiet, and then make as much noise as YOU can! A nice big bag of garbage outside their door might give them some of their own medicine, too......all food garbage though...if your name is on any papers in the trash, you are busted!
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rothkowitz



Joined: 27 Apr 2006

PostPosted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 10:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I effing hate being made to feel under hostage by neighbours.

There's a point where you have to overcompensate.

Choose something Japanese/Chinese for this.

I hate how Koreans recede into carelessness.Wake them up.
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shrews68



Joined: 01 Aug 2006

PostPosted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 10:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Can the guy move?

I would say polite action first, leave it several days. Next, go round and be not so polite, smile off face and sterner tone.

That�s it I�m afraid, after that I don't know what I would do.

Small advice - wax earplugs are twice as effective as those spongy ones.
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jinks



Joined: 27 Oct 2004
Location: Formerly: Lower North Island

PostPosted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

kat2 wrote:
If you ask your students "what would you do if you have a noisy neighbor?", you will get the following answers:
1) nothing
2) ear plugs
3) move to a different apartment
Confrontation simply doesn't happen over this kind of thing. I'm surprised the guard would even say anything to them.

When I lived in a country town my flatmate and I would heve regular get togethers with colleagues and various friends at our place on Friday nights. We didn't have a stereo, but we would listen to music via an ipod and some small portable speakers. The neighbours (Koreans) got really septic about the 'noise', they even called the police out about it and when we continued talking they would call us on the telephone, but hang up as soon as we answered (I'm assuming it was the disgruntled neighbours). But as far as I know, I was the only person in the block who would get up to yell at the noisy kids who would be hollering for their friends in the hallway before 8:00am; it would shut the kids up, but it didn't do anything to modify their general noisiness on subsequent days.
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blynch



Joined: 25 Oct 2006
Location: UCLA

PostPosted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

tell ur friend... to show the couple his gigantic luv muscle. haha... j/k.
seriously, he has to face up to it... like saying "stop making noise, or i will bang the door all nite long"
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Zolt



Joined: 18 May 2006

PostPosted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Showing some muscle might indeed be some idea, your friend just needs a bit of help. Grab the 2 biggest foreigners you can find, dress them up in identical suits and sunglasses - your friend should dress in a slightly more casual way, and oil his hair a bit. Then go knock on their door very quietly.

Smiling and with a cheap italian accent, your friend should politely explain them that he's a very sensitive person, and the noise they make is causing him sleep problems, anxiety, and serious health issues. He might even quote outlandish medical fees. The two 'helpers' should just stay there, expressionless. Oh, and take a picture of the noisy neighbours when they open the door, that's gonna be priceless.

He can also simply make a deal with the block's ajummafia. They know a thousand and one way of making one's daily life a living hell.
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Ya-ta Boy



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994

PostPosted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 12:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
if it was too loud, I figured that someone would tell me. Well I got louder and louder, had parties and everything, no one said anyhting... I guess its a testament to the Korean absence of decorum and coutesy. Had someone just came and told me, or at least point to their ears with a disgruntled visage, I would have adjusted my noise level no problem.


Sorry, but this one got me.

WHOSE behavior is a testament to the 'absence of decorum and courtesy'? If you are not 13 years old, don't act like you were.

Turn on your music. Step out in the hall and close your door. If you can hear it, it is too loud.

You are not living alone on a farm. Have a modicum of consideration for other people. It should NOT be up to other people to come to you and complain.
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