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Dating a friend
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Svetlana



Joined: 22 Jan 2007

PostPosted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 11:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I do not have any male friends that I would not want to sleep with. That is sort of how they became my friends, they were hot but unavailable at the time. I have no time for uninteresting, out of shape, or weird guys. That is what family is for.
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Vancouver



Joined: 12 Dec 2006

PostPosted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 3:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have no problem with it...but i'm a guy >_>
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kermo



Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.

PostPosted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 3:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Svetlana wrote:
I do not have any male friends that I would not want to sleep with. That is sort of how they became my friends, they were hot but unavailable at the time. I have no time for uninteresting, out of shape, or weird guys. That is what family is for.


I have more than a few out-of-shape, weird (but interesting) guy friends. That's why they're my friends and not my boyfriends.
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ticktock



Joined: 14 Apr 2005

PostPosted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 5:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Young FRANKenstein wrote:
I would prefer dating a friend than chatting up and asking out a (near-)total stranger. My problem is that by the time I decide, "Hey! I really like her. Maybe we should DATE!" we're so far into the Friend Zone, she can't see me as more than that. It's only one of the curses I live under.


Not a personal attack but to be honest if the guy is hot, then the girl will probably consider him to be more than a friend no matter how far you are in the 'friend zone'
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Young FRANKenstein



Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Location: Castle Frankenstein (that's FRONKensteen)

PostPosted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 5:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ticktock wrote:
Not a personal attack but to be honest if the guy is hot, then the girl will probably consider him to be more than a friend no matter how far you are in the 'friend zone'

So basically, what you're saying is that the large majority of men who are not hot have no chance?
Wink
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ticktock



Joined: 14 Apr 2005

PostPosted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 7:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Young FRANKenstein wrote:
ticktock wrote:
Not a personal attack but to be honest if the guy is hot, then the girl will probably consider him to be more than a friend no matter how far you are in the 'friend zone'

So basically, what you're saying is that the large majority of men who are not hot have no chance?
Wink


Deary me, fair point. Let me rephrase-if the guy is CONSIDERED to be hot by the girl (and we all know that everyone's got different ideas about what's hot and what's not), then she'll jump on you no matter how far you are in the 'friend zone'.
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Big_Bird



Joined: 31 Jan 2003
Location: Sometimes here sometimes there...

PostPosted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 8:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

kermo wrote:
Svetlana wrote:
I do not have any male friends that I would not want to sleep with. That is sort of how they became my friends, they were hot but unavailable at the time. I have no time for uninteresting, out of shape, or weird guys. That is what family is for.


I have more than a few out-of-shape, weird (but interesting) guy friends. That's why they're my friends and not my boyfriends.


Yes, I found Svetlana's reasoning rather strange. I enjoy the platonic company of many men. Their sexual attractiveness is not the reason I choose to be friends or not friends. With friends, it's about their minds, not their bodies.
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Hanson



Joined: 20 Oct 2004

PostPosted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 8:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Svetlana wrote:
I do not have any male friends that I would not want to sleep with. That is sort of how they became my friends, they were hot but unavailable at the time. I have no time for uninteresting, out of shape, or weird guys. That is what family is for.


Wow. I guess that means we can't be friends.
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Adventurer



Joined: 28 Jan 2006

PostPosted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 5:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Svetlana wrote:
I do not have any male friends that I would not want to sleep with. That is sort of how they became my friends, they were hot but unavailable at the time. I have no time for uninteresting, out of shape, or weird guys. That is what family is for.


Yes, but you do not represent the majority of women anymore than Al Bundy represents the majority of men. I have women friends I would not sleep with or consider sleeping with. I have had many people call me friend without being even slightly attracted to them. Of course, some women I became friends with I was attraced to.... I think we all need good friends.

We have heard countless stories where someone fell in love with a friend.
Paul Newman was supposed to be hot in his day, and he married a plain Jane. I really don't think Angelina Jolie is that good looking. Brad Pitt looks a lot better, but she is an awesome woman and that makes her gorgeous.
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dogshed



Joined: 28 Apr 2006

PostPosted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 6:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Svetlana wrote:
I do not have any male friends that I would not want to sleep with. That is sort of how they became my friends, they were hot but unavailable at the time. I have no time for uninteresting, out of shape, or weird guys. That is what family is for.


Is that why my female friends say I'm just like family?
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Lizara



Joined: 14 Apr 2004
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 6:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

So what are you girls saying... that you wouldn't date ugly people? For me, the qualities that attract me to a guy are pretty much the same for a friend as for a boyfriend, except that I need a higher level of trust and reliability from a boyfriend than from someone I'd consider a friend. So I'd have no qualms about dating a friend although I wouldn't want to do it if I thought it wasn't likely to develop into anything serious... I wouldn't want to ruin a good friendship that way.
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princess



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia

PostPosted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 7:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lizara wrote:
So what are you girls saying... that you wouldn't date ugly people? For me, the qualities that attract me to a guy are pretty much the same for a friend as for a boyfriend, except that I need a higher level of trust and reliability from a boyfriend than from someone I'd consider a friend. So I'd have no qualms about dating a friend although I wouldn't want to do it if I thought it wasn't likely to develop into anything serious... I wouldn't want to ruin a good friendship that way.
That's right. I couldn't date an ugly guy. There has to be that physical, chemical connection or it just ain't a-happening. I want a boyfriend, not a brother or a best friend when I marry someone. That's one reason so many Koreans are unhappy in their marriages. They marry ugly, dull people that mommy/daddy approve of, and that person is more like a brother/sister/friend kind of thing...hence the rampant cheating in this country. If I need a nice companion, that's what a friend or a pet is for. Also, you have to be careful ladies about hanging out with a guy friend. Everyone will assume you are TOGETHER together. Not a good thing. I've actually had people here think some ugly friend is my boyfriend. no way no way!!!!!!!!!
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princess



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia

PostPosted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 7:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Big_Bird wrote:
kermo wrote:
Svetlana wrote:
I do not have any male friends that I would not want to sleep with. That is sort of how they became my friends, they were hot but unavailable at the time. I have no time for uninteresting, out of shape, or weird guys. That is what family is for.


I have more than a few out-of-shape, weird (but interesting) guy friends. That's why they're my friends and not my boyfriends.


Yes, I found Svetlana's reasoning rather strange. I enjoy the platonic company of many men. Their sexual attractiveness is not the reason I choose to be friends or not friends. With friends, it's about their minds, not their bodies.
Be careful..many people will assume the two of you are TOGETHER!!! That's why I don't like going out with some guy friend one-on-one. People will assume we are TOGETHER...and that will hurt a single person's chances of meeting someone. I know this one girl who always goes out with this ugly dude she's just friends with. I thought he was her boyfriend when I first saw them,even though there was no chemistry, because they are Korean. Many Korean couples have zero chemistry and hmmm I wonder why. I wouldn't have chemistry either with someone the 'rents mademe go out with. Even in the states most folks assume a guy/girl are TOGETHER!!!
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Big_Bird



Joined: 31 Jan 2003
Location: Sometimes here sometimes there...

PostPosted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 5:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

princess wrote:
Big_Bird wrote:
kermo wrote:
Svetlana wrote:
I do not have any male friends that I would not want to sleep with. That is sort of how they became my friends, they were hot but unavailable at the time. I have no time for uninteresting, out of shape, or weird guys. That is what family is for.


I have more than a few out-of-shape, weird (but interesting) guy friends. That's why they're my friends and not my boyfriends.


Yes, I found Svetlana's reasoning rather strange. I enjoy the platonic company of many men. Their sexual attractiveness is not the reason I choose to be friends or not friends. With friends, it's about their minds, not their bodies.
Be careful..many people will assume the two of you are TOGETHER!!! That's why I don't like going out with some guy friend one-on-one. People will assume we are TOGETHER...and that will hurt a single person's chances of meeting someone. I know this one girl who always goes out with this ugly dude she's just friends with. I thought he was her boyfriend when I first saw them,even though there was no chemistry, because they are Korean. Many Korean couples have zero chemistry and hmmm I wonder why. I wouldn't have chemistry either with someone the 'rents mademe go out with. Even in the states most folks assume a guy/girl are TOGETHER!!!


Since I'm already married and off the singles market, I've nothing to be careful about. Wink
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kermo



Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.

PostPosted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 5:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

princess wrote:
Be careful..many people will assume the two of you are TOGETHER!!! That's why I don't like going out with some guy friend one-on-one. People will assume we are TOGETHER...and that will hurt a single person's chances of meeting someone. I know this one girl who always goes out with this ugly dude she's just friends with. I thought he was her boyfriend when I first saw them,even though there was no chemistry, because they are Korean. Many Korean couples have zero chemistry and hmmm I wonder why. I wouldn't have chemistry either with someone the 'rents mademe go out with. Even in the states most folks assume a guy/girl are TOGETHER!!!


Of all the things to be afraid of, being seen with an "ugly" person is very very low on my list. I'd rather be surrounded by homely, trustworthy, caring people than admired for my taste in men, but stuck with shallow, fickle acquaintances (who may in turn drop me if I'm not up to their standards in chic.)
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