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nautilus

Joined: 26 Nov 2005 Location: Je jump, Tu jump, oui jump!
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Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2007 6:52 pm Post subject: Working with koreans of the same sex. |
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Do you handle it well? Do you prefer working with Korean men, or K-women?
i've noticed that K females can be a little bit*y to foreign women. Likewise it appears that K-men and foreign men are naturally averse.
Working with korean women has generally been sweet! They are usually very easy to get along with and kind. And flirty.
However, the problem arises when i work alongside k-men. First up I'm not really used to woking with them. i'm used to hagwons which rarely have korean male teachers. Second, they seem to regard the workplace as their territory. Especially when you chat to female staff. they come out with some really odd and insecure behaviour. They appear jealous and uncomfortable when you enjoy conversation with female staff, no matter how platonic. They try and dominate evrything, its a heirarchy. They invent supposedly cultural ideas which you are supposed to kow-tow to, that seem designed to bolster their egos. They seem to try and patronise or infantilise you. They subtly mock english etc. in short..they can be hard work. A lot of it is below radar. But i sense it, even though I can't speak korean.
no doubt the western women here will say that K-men are a joy to work with, but not K--women.
would you agree? or am I just being too sensitive? |
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crazylemongirl

Joined: 23 Mar 2003 Location: almost there...
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Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2007 7:03 pm Post subject: Re: Working with koreans of the same sex. |
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nautilus wrote: |
i've noticed that K females can be a little bit*y to foreign women. |
Nope far from it. Infact my school is going out of its way to find another women teacher because the other female teachers think that she'd fit in better.
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Working with korean women has generally been sweet! They are usually very easy to get along with and kind. And flirty.
However, the problem arises when i work alongside k-men. |
I think the fact that you don't seem to be showing professionalism in the workplace is why you are having a problem with them. Work isn't a social hour or an opportunity to hit on them.
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no doubt the western women here will say that K-men are a joy to work with, but not K--women.
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No they are just different. I can't really be friendly with my male co-workers the way I can with my female ones. Interaction between the sexes is not a western one. There is a clear differentiation between men and women unless they are in some sort of relationship together. I treat my male co-workers with politeness and they with me. But it is clear that we live within different spheres.
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would you agree? or am I just being too sensitive? |
No I think you aren't thinking about Korean culture. You are overstepping the boundaries of what is acceptable for them, and the men's aggression is probably a result of that. |
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babtangee
Joined: 18 Dec 2004 Location: OMG! Charlie has me surrounded!
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Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2007 7:14 pm Post subject: |
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I worked with two male Korean public school teachers and they were both great. I do think it helped that they were both the exact same age as me. One year older and there could have been friction ("I'm your senior!"). Maybe. |
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Yu_Bum_suk

Joined: 25 Dec 2004
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Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2007 7:16 pm Post subject: |
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I get along really well with some of them but with others, it seems they're way worse than women for things going in one ear and out the other. The best English teacher I've worked with by far has been a man and the most useless by far was a woman (though she was really hot). |
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ChuckECheese

Joined: 20 Jul 2006
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Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2007 7:23 pm Post subject: |
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Personally, it really doesn't matter to me whether I work with K-women or men. I work well with them as long as they don't cross my boundary and I don't cross theirs. At work I never flirt with K-women or adult students and it�s all professional and they respect me as a teacher. |
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rawiri

Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Location: Lovely day for a fire drill.
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Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2007 8:29 pm Post subject: |
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There's nothing wrong with flirting with korean teachers. Some of the girls at hagwon's iv'e worked at were total hotties, take the stick outta your asses. You can still be professional about your job and date people you work with, especially over here where it's an ingrained part of the culture that men and women hook up in the workplace.
Last edited by rawiri on Thu Feb 08, 2007 10:31 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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nautilus

Joined: 26 Nov 2005 Location: Je jump, Tu jump, oui jump!
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Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2007 8:45 pm Post subject: Re: Working with koreans of the same sex. |
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crazylemongirl wrote: |
No I think you aren't thinking about Korean culture. You are overstepping the boundaries of what is acceptable for them, and the men's aggression is probably a result of that. |
or could it be the fact that they all got married at 25 and can't indulge in the harmless workplace pastime of low-level flirtation, and are jealous? Anyhow I agree with your basic point, to respect their boundaries. problem is westerners and koreans boundaries are not well known to eachother. I've dapted to the litlle rules of their society that i do know about, however its amazing how little they know of mine. maybe it just isn't important to them i suppose. |
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khyber
Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: Compunction Junction
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Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2007 8:51 pm Post subject: |
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in my hagwon experience i thought the women were being flirty (talking to me dearly, expressing love, spanking/grabbing my butt). I think it was just them as people though; that's how they expressed affection.
Weird, very weird but not bad.
My coworkers in my public school? I'm not really convinced that gender is an issue...ever. |
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kimchi story

Joined: 23 Nov 2006
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Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2007 9:08 pm Post subject: |
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I second the 'flirty isn't flirting' point raised by khyber. My female coteachers are flirty and forward, but we are all very professional. I disagree with the criticism that flirty and unprofessional go hand in hand as suggested by a previous poster.
I find both male and female coteachers to be colegial, but in different ways. The females are affectionate, the men tend to have more of a sporting rivalry going on. Sometimes in the heat of things that rivalry becomes tense, and every couple of months we have a guys night and go get smashed. That was last night, and I today the only rivalry is who feels the worst. I think I won for the first time ever. Woke up in yesterday's clothes and I can't shake the taste of soju from my mouth. |
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nautilus

Joined: 26 Nov 2005 Location: Je jump, Tu jump, oui jump!
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Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2007 10:00 pm Post subject: |
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This is not supposed to be a thread about flirting.
What I'm trying to say in a nutshell is:
Korean women are generally easy to work with.
korean men, generally aren't. |
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ChuckECheese

Joined: 20 Jul 2006
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Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2007 10:13 pm Post subject: |
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I never said that flirting at work place is right or wrong. It's all up to your personal choice. I choose not to flirt at work because it could end up in more than a flirting situation. When the relationship is in the rosy state, it's fine, but when things don't work out at the end, there are many unpleasant possiblities since you're working together.
Besides, there are plenty to be had outside of your work place. |
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rawiri

Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Location: Lovely day for a fire drill.
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Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2007 10:35 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah but there's nothing spice's up the hum drum nature of hagwon work than a nicely drawn out love affair ending in tears (from an observers perspective). |
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Ya-ta Boy
Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: Established in 1994
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Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 1:20 am Post subject: |
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So far, no one has agreed with the OP and I'm not going to break the string. As far as I'm concerned, it's individual personality that makes the difference. I've worked with both great co-workers and crummy ones and the difference was not gender. |
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Homer Guest
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Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 4:36 am Post subject: |
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Worked with both....
It depends more on the personality than on the gender..sorry nautilus...Age would also play a factor in certain cases.
I have worked with idiots of both genders and great co-workers of both genders....I have also had male and female bosses over the years....it is definitively about the person and not about the gender on most cases.
Last edited by Homer on Fri Feb 09, 2007 4:40 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Wrench
Joined: 07 Apr 2005
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Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 4:38 am Post subject: |
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Depends on the age. I find men tend to be a little more open and less intimidated. |
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