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Adventurer
Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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 Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2007 7:15 am Post subject: |
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| freethought wrote: |
Men and monogamy don't mix. Whether you think watching porn violates monogamy doesn't really matter, because the point is that it demonstrates the very real threat and likelyhood of men cheating.
I've been with a shade under 50 women, but I've never cheated. That said, I've had 3-somes and been with multiple women in a night. I've been with multiple women in a week. I'm capable of monogamy, but there are times when I see something that gets me sprung and if I was a little inebriated I'd likely do something I shouldn't.
I've fantasized about old girlfriends while having sex with someone else.
Men are NOT to be trusted. Under no circumstances. It's just that simple.
And for STD tests. They're smart. Once a year makes perfect sense in this day and age, and to deny that is to deny reality. |
I don't think you can speak for all men, just yourself. If I really am not going to be faithful, then I would dump the girl rather than cheat on her.
You can take an interest in someone else, but you can't date two people.
Some people do that. You can be faithful to a girlfriend if you really feel connected to her in an amazing way. Of course, there is a certain fun behind not being monogamous, but not everyone is into that. When I was with certain girlfriends, I only wanted to be with them and with others I wasn't into them that much. That is different than cheating. |
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Grimalkin
Joined: 22 May 2005
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| Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2007 9:44 am Post subject: |
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Adventurer
| Quote: |
| but you can't date two people. Some people do that. |
Aren't you contradicting yourself here or am I misunderstanding you?
And I'm not so sure you're right that you can't date two people.
My boyfriend has another boyfriend. He spends mon-fri with me and sat-& sun with him. I've even met the other guy. What suprised me was how similar we were. I kind of think that if I also dated someone else I would choose someone completely different for variety. In fact my boyfriend's boyfriend is very similar to me both physically and in personality. Maybe it's the similarity in personality that makes the whole thing work. I'm not by nature jealous or competitive and neither (apparently) is he. The only feeling I had in regard to the 'other guy' was curiousity..apart from that it's fine by me. I actually enjoy having the weekend to hang out with friends (ironically most of whom don't like my boyfriend cos he's cheating on me with someone else!). |
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Samantha
Joined: 20 Jul 2006
Location: Jinan-dong Hwaseong
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| Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2007 8:05 pm Post subject: |
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| Grimalkin wrote: |
My boyfriend has another boyfriend. He spends mon-fri with me and sat-& sun with him. I've even met the other guy. What suprised me was how similar we were. I kind of think that if I also dated someone else I would choose someone completely different for variety. In fact my boyfriend's boyfriend is very similar to me both physically and in personality. Maybe it's the similarity in personality that makes the whole thing work. I'm not by nature jealous or competitive and neither (apparently) is he. The only feeling I had in regard to the 'other guy' was curiousity..apart from that it's fine by me. I actually enjoy having the weekend to hang out with friends (ironically most of whom don't like my boyfriend cos he's cheating on me with someone else!). |
Ok I don't get this. If your boyfriend is dating someone else that is so much like you on the weekends then why doesn't he just make the decision of one or the other. I mean if you and his other boyfriend are so similar than it seems that he has picked his type and the qualities/personality traits he likes. Now he just has to decide which person embodies it more. I don't understand dating two "almost identical" people. To me, it'd be like dating twins, which just isn't fair. Personally I think I'm with your friends on this, something doesn't quite sound right with his logic. |
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Adventurer
Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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| Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2007 8:47 pm Post subject: |
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| Grimalkin wrote: |
Adventurer
| Quote: |
| but you can't date two people. Some people do that. |
Aren't you contradicting yourself here or am I misunderstanding you?
And I'm not so sure you're right that you can't date two people.
My boyfriend has another boyfriend. He spends mon-fri with me and sat-& sun with him. I've even met the other guy. What suprised me was how similar we were. I kind of think that if I also dated someone else I would choose someone completely different for variety. In fact my boyfriend's boyfriend is very similar to me both physically and in personality. Maybe it's the similarity in personality that makes the whole thing work. I'm not by nature jealous or competitive and neither (apparently) is he. The only feeling I had in regard to the 'other guy' was curiousity..apart from that it's fine by me. I actually enjoy having the weekend to hang out with friends (ironically most of whom don't like my boyfriend cos he's cheating on me with someone else!). |
You are misunderstanding me, perhaps. You can date two people
when you are first just testing the waters and haven't really got intimate with either. Stringing two people along is another matter. I meant you can't be seriously date two people at the same time without doing something wrong in my book. If it isn't wrong, then tell the people, be open. Most people would have a problem with that. I wouldn't want to share a girl with another guy. That is not my cup of Earl Grey tea.
As far as what that fellow said about condoms, they have them everywhere, but I don't know popular it is to use in Korea. They sell them so people must use them obviously. It is not a big deal to use them if it means you will be protected and also getting your senses gratified. |
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Grimalkin
Joined: 22 May 2005
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| Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2007 11:40 pm Post subject: |
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| Samantha wrote: |
| Grimalkin wrote: |
My boyfriend has another boyfriend. He spends mon-fri with me and sat-& sun with him. I've even met the other guy. What suprised me was how similar we were. I kind of think that if I also dated someone else I would choose someone completely different for variety. In fact my boyfriend's boyfriend is very similar to me both physically and in personality. Maybe it's the similarity in personality that makes the whole thing work. I'm not by nature jealous or competitive and neither (apparently) is he. The only feeling I had in regard to the 'other guy' was curiousity..apart from that it's fine by me. I actually enjoy having the weekend to hang out with friends (ironically most of whom don't like my boyfriend cos he's cheating on me with someone else!). |
Ok I don't get this. If your boyfriend is dating someone else that is so much like you on the weekends then why doesn't he just make the decision of one or the other. I mean if you and his other boyfriend are so similar than it seems that he has picked his type and the qualities/personality traits he likes. Now he just has to decide which person embodies it more. I don't understand dating two "almost identical" people. To me, it'd be like dating twins, which just isn't fair. Personally I think I'm with your friends on this, something doesn't quite sound right with his logic. |
I'm with you! Like I said I don't get it either cos If I were to do the same I'd go for someone different for the sake of variety.  |
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Samantha
Joined: 20 Jul 2006
Location: Jinan-dong Hwaseong
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| Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2007 11:45 pm Post subject: |
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| Grimalkin wrote: |
| Samantha wrote: |
| Grimalkin wrote: |
My boyfriend has another boyfriend. He spends mon-fri with me and sat-& sun with him. I've even met the other guy. What suprised me was how similar we were. I kind of think that if I also dated someone else I would choose someone completely different for variety. In fact my boyfriend's boyfriend is very similar to me both physically and in personality. Maybe it's the similarity in personality that makes the whole thing work. I'm not by nature jealous or competitive and neither (apparently) is he. The only feeling I had in regard to the 'other guy' was curiousity..apart from that it's fine by me. I actually enjoy having the weekend to hang out with friends (ironically most of whom don't like my boyfriend cos he's cheating on me with someone else!). |
Ok I don't get this. If your boyfriend is dating someone else that is so much like you on the weekends then why doesn't he just make the decision of one or the other. I mean if you and his other boyfriend are so similar than it seems that he has picked his type and the qualities/personality traits he likes. Now he just has to decide which person embodies it more. I don't understand dating two "almost identical" people. To me, it'd be like dating twins, which just isn't fair. Personally I think I'm with your friends on this, something doesn't quite sound right with his logic. |
I'm with you! Like I said I don't get it either cos If I were to do the same I'd go for someone different for the sake of variety. |
But if you don't get it and you are in the relationship then leave the relationship. Maybe your boyfriend will decide that you are the one he wants and forget this idea of dating two people at once. I guess I follow the proverb a little closer than most in some respects: If you love someone set them free, if they come back it was meant to be, if they don't then let it be. In this case if he was really into the relationship and wanted to be with you then he wouldn't need his weekend boyfriend. But again that's just my theory. |
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Grimalkin
Joined: 22 May 2005
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| Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2007 11:47 pm Post subject: |
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| Adventurer wrote: |
| Grimalkin wrote: |
Adventurer
| Quote: |
| but you can't date two people. Some people do that. |
Aren't you contradicting yourself here or am I misunderstanding you?
And I'm not so sure you're right that you can't date two people.
My boyfriend has another boyfriend. He spends mon-fri with me and sat-& sun with him. I've even met the other guy. What suprised me was how similar we were. I kind of think that if I also dated someone else I would choose someone completely different for variety. In fact my boyfriend's boyfriend is very similar to me both physically and in personality. Maybe it's the similarity in personality that makes the whole thing work. I'm not by nature jealous or competitive and neither (apparently) is he. The only feeling I had in regard to the 'other guy' was curiousity..apart from that it's fine by me. I actually enjoy having the weekend to hang out with friends (ironically most of whom don't like my boyfriend cos he's cheating on me with someone else!). |
You are misunderstanding me, perhaps. You can date two people
when you are first just testing the waters and haven't really got intimate with either. Stringing two people along is another matter. I meant you can't be seriously date two people at the same time without doing something wrong in my book. If it isn't wrong, then tell the people, be open. |
Just to be clear. All three of us are aware of the situation. the situation has been ongoing since the beginning of dec 2005. It hasn't caused us any problems so far, which I think is due to the combination of the personalities involved. I'm quite sure it wouldn't work for everyone.
And I'm not trying to say it's a good thing or a bad thing. It's just the way it is! |
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Samantha
Joined: 20 Jul 2006
Location: Jinan-dong Hwaseong
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| Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2007 11:50 pm Post subject: |
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| Grimalkin wrote: |
| Adventurer wrote: |
| Grimalkin wrote: |
Adventurer
| Quote: |
| but you can't date two people. Some people do that. |
Aren't you contradicting yourself here or am I misunderstanding you?
And I'm not so sure you're right that you can't date two people.
My boyfriend has another boyfriend. He spends mon-fri with me and sat-& sun with him. I've even met the other guy. What suprised me was how similar we were. I kind of think that if I also dated someone else I would choose someone completely different for variety. In fact my boyfriend's boyfriend is very similar to me both physically and in personality. Maybe it's the similarity in personality that makes the whole thing work. I'm not by nature jealous or competitive and neither (apparently) is he. The only feeling I had in regard to the 'other guy' was curiousity..apart from that it's fine by me. I actually enjoy having the weekend to hang out with friends (ironically most of whom don't like my boyfriend cos he's cheating on me with someone else!). |
You are misunderstanding me, perhaps. You can date two people
when you are first just testing the waters and haven't really got intimate with either. Stringing two people along is another matter. I meant you can't be seriously date two people at the same time without doing something wrong in my book. If it isn't wrong, then tell the people, be open. |
Just to be clear. All three of us are aware of the situation. the situation has been ongoing since the beginning of dec 2005. It hasn't caused us any problems so far, which I think is due to the combination of the personalities involved. I'm quite sure it wouldn't work for everyone.
And I'm not trying to say it's a good thing or a bad thing. It's just the way it is! |
As I've said before I don't get it but if it makes you happy and you are having a good time then more power to you. I know that I could never do this kind of a relationship and if my significant other suggested something like this I'd show him the door real quick. I hope everything works out for you. |
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Grimalkin
Joined: 22 May 2005
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| Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2007 11:57 pm Post subject: |
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| Samantha wrote: |
| Grimalkin wrote: |
| Samantha wrote: |
| Grimalkin wrote: |
My boyfriend has another boyfriend. He spends mon-fri with me and sat-& sun with him. I've even met the other guy. What suprised me was how similar we were. I kind of think that if I also dated someone else I would choose someone completely different for variety. In fact my boyfriend's boyfriend is very similar to me both physically and in personality. Maybe it's the similarity in personality that makes the whole thing work. I'm not by nature jealous or competitive and neither (apparently) is he. The only feeling I had in regard to the 'other guy' was curiousity..apart from that it's fine by me. I actually enjoy having the weekend to hang out with friends (ironically most of whom don't like my boyfriend cos he's cheating on me with someone else!). |
Ok I don't get this. If your boyfriend is dating someone else that is so much like you on the weekends then why doesn't he just make the decision of one or the other. I mean if you and his other boyfriend are so similar than it seems that he has picked his type and the qualities/personality traits he likes. Now he just has to decide which person embodies it more. I don't understand dating two "almost identical" people. To me, it'd be like dating twins, which just isn't fair. Personally I think I'm with your friends on this, something doesn't quite sound right with his logic. |
I'm with you! Like I said I don't get it either cos If I were to do the same I'd go for someone different for the sake of variety. |
But if you don't get it and you are in the relationship then leave the relationship. Maybe your boyfriend will decide that you are the one he wants and forget this idea of dating two people at once. I guess I follow the proverb a little closer than most in some respects: If you love someone set them free, if they come back it was meant to be, if they don't then let it be. In this case if he was really into the relationship and wanted to be with you then he wouldn't need his weekend boyfriend. But again that's just my theory. |
Hey, thanks for the advice!  (this isn't sarcasm!).
I just seem to see it a different way. I don't think it's up to me to set him free. If he wanted out I wouldn't try to stop him honestly...altho' I do love him. I'm pretty sure the other guy loves him too. I get that distinct impression. So good for him, two people love him. Someday circumstances may force him to choose and I could well be the loser but I don't think I'll have any regrets. I'll just try to remenber the good times. |
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