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Alias

Joined: 24 Jan 2003
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Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 1:32 pm Post subject: Why do women go for bad boys? |
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Women often complain about not being able to find a nice guy. I don't think that is the problem though. There are plenty of nice guys out there. Just not any nice that they find attractive.
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So why do women become attracted to jerks?
The short answer is that they don't want to be attracted to that type of guy it, it's something that just happens.
A woman's attraction to a guy isn't a choice!
It's an emotional response to the things that happen around them.
Women don't choose to feel the emotion called attraction for jerks any more than you choose to feel the emotion called attraction for young, beautiful, toned women.
Nature has pre-programmed guys with a mechanism that works like this:
See beautiful women ---> Feel attracted to the hot women
Well, women have a similar mechanism. But I think that the female version is harder to define.
Yes, women do feel attraction for handsome men... but they feel a much stronger pull towards certain personality traits and ways that the guy behaves than they do for a guy's physical looks.
So again, the short answer is that it's just something that "happens" inside of a women. She doesn't "choose" it.
So what is it about the "jerk" that creates this powerful, overwhelming power of attraction inside of women?
Let me answer first by telling you what it's not:
It's not the bad treatment (not usually). I don't believe that women are attracted to that abusive, mean, negative part of the "jerk personality". A guy that really means to beat on a woman isn't looking to date, he's about a whole different thing.
I think that jerks also happen to also possess several qualities that are attractively powerful that that they literally make women accept the abuse...
Women will rationalize and excuse the abusive behavior because they are so attracted to these other qualities of the guy they are with.
Here's my starting list of what creates that 'jerk' guy attraction:
-Unpredictability
-Uncontrollable
-Challenge
-Dominance
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peppermint

Joined: 13 May 2003 Location: traversing the minefields of caddishness.
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Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 1:39 pm Post subject: |
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There's men you date, and men you marry. Jerks fall firmly into the date category for most of us. |
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seoulshock
Joined: 12 Jul 2005
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Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 2:21 pm Post subject: |
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peppermint wrote: |
There's men you date, and men you marry. Jerks fall firmly into the date category for most of us. |
What does this mean? Jerks are for having kinky sex with? |
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ChopChaeJoe
Joined: 05 Mar 2006 Location: Seoul
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Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 3:16 pm Post subject: |
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I really have a hard time worrying about who strangers are dating. If your gal is long gone a flying after some jerkwad, tough luck, but she probably wasn't anything special.
Some people seem to be born special, beautiful people, other folks arrive at that state after much travels. Don't get your panties in a wad over some skirt that did you dirt or turned you down. You'll jut end up missing out on the multitude of better-quality lassies out there.
Plenty of gals are jerks too, and us guys have no problems falling for them...
It does seem easy to meet chicks and do all kinds of obscene stuff with them when you maintain a cool attitude and detach yourself from tender feelings. In the end, it's just empty (sex). |
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mnhnhyouh

Joined: 21 Nov 2006 Location: The Middle Kingdom
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Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 3:48 pm Post subject: |
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I think there is a third catagory you are missing,
1) Nice boys (I have had a gf who used this as a euphemism for boring)
2) Jerks
3) Bad boys.
Many girls like to play with the latter.
h |
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mindmetoo
Joined: 02 Feb 2004
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Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 4:33 pm Post subject: |
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Why do men date skinny biatches and don't date fat nice girls?
We all want sexy. I don't know why we expect women to shelve sexy. |
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Alias

Joined: 24 Jan 2003
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Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 4:44 pm Post subject: |
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I don't expect them to give up sexy either. Just stop complaining about all the aholes that you are dating. |
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Qinella
Joined: 25 Feb 2005 Location: the crib
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Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 4:59 pm Post subject: |
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This is the reason I bought my leather jacket and LA Dodgers ballcap, which I wear backwards--to attract ladies lookin' for adventure. It hasn't worked yet, but I'm thinking about ripping my stonewashed jeans at the knee and smirking more. |
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ella

Joined: 17 Apr 2006
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Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 6:02 pm Post subject: |
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Why do women go for bad boys? |
Women don't. Girls do. |
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twg

Joined: 02 Nov 2006 Location: Getting some fresh air...
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Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 6:05 pm Post subject: |
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Why do women go for bad boys? |
Women are fools for confidence. Confidence and being an ass often look like the same thing from a distance. |
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Demonicat

Joined: 18 Nov 2004 Location: Suwon
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Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 6:07 pm Post subject: |
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I can verify the absolute truth in that women go for jerks/bad boys and good, nice guys repels them. I'm manic depressive so I swing alot. When I am absolutely manic, I am the biggest, loudest jerk in the world. Also at that time, I'll go home with a different girl every night, if not two. When I'm depressive, I'm very friendly and kind, but god help me if I don't repel women. Its very odd, but very true. |
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Adventurer

Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 6:11 pm Post subject: |
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Well, there is an easy explanation for all of this. A bad boy is a warrior type even if he ends up not being good in some ways. At least, he projects the warrior image and goes out there. If you just say I'm nice, like me, approve of me, support me, then you are not much of a warrior, now are you? I know that sounds antediluvian, antiquated, but when women say they want someone who is a knight they mean someone who is confident, brave, and charms them, and many as*holes can charm the ladies. If you can do that and be nice, then you've got it made. That's my take on it. However, some women keep focusing on the bad image and then wonder why they are having bad luck with men. I have no sympathy for women who keep getting into that situation, because you are a victim of choice no one forced to make.
I would also add that these days the bad boy image is promoted a lot in the wrong way with the thug, the gangster i.e. the felons who all of a sudden scored a good record deal or look like them. So you have to kind of go out there and be a warrior instead of complaining that you want to be the hunted. Now, of course, women are not the prey. I am just using this as somewhat of an analogy. You are the prey if you don't act the warrior. |
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RACETRAITOR
Joined: 24 Oct 2005 Location: Seoul, South Korea
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Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 6:28 pm Post subject: |
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Here's my answer. Women need, more than anything else, approval. A nice guy is a person who always treats them nicely and says nice things to them. Not very exciting. But then some jerk comes along and isn't so impressed with her. She then becomes obsessed with getting his approval. What could he see in her that's wrong? She has to find out.
Maybe not true in all girls, but in a large enough amount, and I've seen it in action. |
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just because

Joined: 01 Aug 2003 Location: Changwon - 4964
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Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 6:49 pm Post subject: |
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twg wrote: |
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Why do women go for bad boys? |
Women are fools for confidence. Confidence and being an ass often look like the same thing from a distance. |
that s a bit of an overstatement...
I am a pretty confident person but wouldn't considered an ass.... |
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hubba bubba
Joined: 24 Oct 2006
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Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 7:06 pm Post subject: |
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peppermint wrote: |
There's men you date, and men you marry. Jerks fall firmly into the date category for most of us. |
Conversely, there are girls you party with, and then there are girls you marry. |
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