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The big I Love You - old hats here, what's your take?
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kimchi story



Joined: 23 Nov 2006

PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 7:58 pm    Post subject: The big I Love You - old hats here, what's your take? Reply with quote

Here's the deal - I come across a group of students today in the hallway and get tackled by them and they are screaming I LOVE YOU.

It's not unusual to hear it from students, boys and girls alike. Usually it comes across as an expression of familiarity and acceptance. It's like they're saying 'hey, you're ok'.

In fact, at the beginning of the year one of my colleagues explained the korean equivalent and said if I said it back the students would love it. I didn't remember the phrase - it was during a 'men's night' and we were pretty far in. But I did get a lot more comfortable with the situation, and I took to saying 'you too' as a stock response.

So what's the deal? Anyone else been through this? The giddy scrum in the hallway today was an unusual example, but I think it's a pretty common thing for foreign teachers and one that can make a person very uncomfortable, given western ethics and student/teacher relationships.

When they say 'I love you', what exactly do they mean? Am I right in assuming the Korean equivalent simply doesn't exactly translate? (the guy who first told me about it has since moved on)
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Gamecock



Joined: 26 Nov 2003

PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 8:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Often, this is one of the only phrases the students know and they are just eager to get to know you. Even more often, especially with middle school or high school students they are just saying it to be silly or get a good giggle with their friends. Maybe it's my Western teacher/student ethics, but I never respond in the same. Usually I just ignore it and say "Hello" or try to engage them in basic conversation if it is clear they aren't just being silly.

On my first day at a public school on Monday, I had a female coteacher I had not yet met blurt out "I love you" after my introduction at the morning faculty meeting. That was a little more awkward...
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formerflautist



Joined: 30 May 2006

PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 8:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think they understand it's a way to express affection. They say "I like you" to their friends. Maybe in their heads it's more respectful to say "I love you." I just say thank you or I know and they think it's funny.
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yingwenlaoshi



Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Location: ... location, location!

PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 9:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's because they're retarded.
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kimchi story



Joined: 23 Nov 2006

PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 10:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

yingwenlaoshi wrote:
It's because they're retarded.


No, I ruled that one out. The droolers and the i love you shouters are two different subsets.

And when the droolers start telling me they love me, that'll be a clue that it's time to bail.
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ajuma



Joined: 18 Feb 2003
Location: Anywere but Seoul!!

PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 11:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

When students say "Teacher, I love you" I just say "Yes, dear. I love you, too, but you STILL have to study!" Usually gets a laugh.
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yingwenlaoshi



Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Location: ... location, location!

PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 11:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

kimchi story wrote:
yingwenlaoshi wrote:
It's because they're retarded.


No, I ruled that one out. The droolers and the i love you shouters are two different subsets.

And when the droolers start telling me they love me, that'll be a clue that it's time to bail.


Jokes aside, even adjoshis say this. I was at the local kamja tang restaurant the other night eating with the owner. He said, "I love you" and I corrected him, "It's 'I like you'". It's funny because it might be acceptable to say that you love people in the "like" way, but you can't say that you love any kind of food. You have to say, "I really like kimchi". Can't say, "I love kimchi".

Maybe fist meetings of "I love you" means that they love the idea of you or that you look like a nice, beautiful, handsome, etc. person. Or they're just loving it kind of deal.

Maybe it's a direct sort of translation where it shouldn't be translated directly.
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Woland



Joined: 10 May 2006
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 12:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

At least we've eliminated university students talking about 'losing their lover', as they did when I was first here ten years ago, when they really mean that they have broken up with their boy/girlfriend. I haven't heard this once in the year I've been back, but I could be wrong as I don't have that much direct contact with undergrads anymore. Can someone confirm this?
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poet13



Joined: 22 Jan 2006
Location: Just over there....throwing lemons.

PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 12:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've always interpreted it "I like you". Except for one of my co-teachers. He tries to hug me too often and I think he's gay.
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ajuma



Joined: 18 Feb 2003
Location: Anywere but Seoul!!

PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 3:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

poet13 wrote:
I've always interpreted it "I like you". Except for one of my co-teachers. He tries to hug me too often and I think he's gay.


Um...he didn't see you with your pants the other day, did he?? Wink
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Pak Yu Man



Joined: 02 Jun 2005
Location: The Ida galaxy

PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 4:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

First week of uni and the freshmen are saying crap like that to me. Just say it if you want to then make a joke to cover your ass.

One girl said it to me today, I said it back and then jumped behind the door and hid.


"Teacher...what's wrong?"

I said " I think my wife is going to come in and kill me!"
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oneofthesarahs



Joined: 05 Nov 2006
Location: Sacheon City

PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 5:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I get "I love you" from a bunch of my students, but mostly the younger kids. Coming from the little kids, there's something less creepy and more sweetly innocent about it, I think. Most young kids develop genuine affection for their teachers, or any adult who is an authority figure. When my kindy kids tell me they love me, often accompanied with wrapping themselves around my legs, I feel perfectly okay saying "I love you too." It makes them so happy.

With the few older kids who say it, I usually play it safe and say "thanks."
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poet13



Joined: 22 Jan 2006
Location: Just over there....throwing lemons.

PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 7:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Um...he didn't see you with your pants the other day, did he?? "

Umm, actually, yes, and he was much too interested. Damn it, I had dismissed that. Now I'm going to have freaky dreams where I'm running away from someone but I'm too slow and they always keep gaining, but never quite catching up to me.

Thanks. Thanks a LOT!
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ajuma



Joined: 18 Feb 2003
Location: Anywere but Seoul!!

PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 7:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Um...are you saying that you WANT him to catch up??? Laughing
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crsandus



Joined: 05 Oct 2004

PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 8:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ajuma wrote:
poet13 wrote:
I've always interpreted it "I like you". Except for one of my co-teachers. He tries to hug me too often and I think he's gay.


Um...he didn't see you with your pants the other day, did he?? Wink


Very Happy Good times good times. I love this board.
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