Korean Job Discussion Forums

[mack4289]

Who doesn't wish they knew more jokes? So bring em on, the more vulgar, the better. Here's mine:

This guy's wife is in a coma. The doctors notice that when they're washing her below the waist while giving her a sponge bath, her heart rate monitor spikes. So the doctor tells her husband, "I know this sounds unusual, but, judging from how your wife responds to the sponge baths, we think she might benefit from oral sex."

The husband responds, "Well, we've been married for a long time and don't really do that anymore. But if you really think it'll help, I'll do it."

So they put him in his wife's room, make sure no one else can see in, and let him do it. At first, everything's normal but all of a sudden his wife starts flatlining. The husband rushes out to find the doctors, calling for help. The doctor asks, "What happened?"

The husband says, "Well, it started out alright, but then she started choking...."

And a short one:

What do you call a black guy who flies a plane?

A pilot you racist.

[Tarmangani]

A priest and a Rabbi are walking down the street. They see a little boy. The priest says "Hey, let's screw that little boy." And the Rabbi says "Screw him out of what?"

[SuperHero]

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the Priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"

"Of course. What may I do for you?"

"Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"

"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie."

"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."

T he official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you
have to declare from your waist to the floor?"




























"I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but

Which is, to date, unused."


Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father." Next!

[yingwenlaoshi]

A racist white guy is walking down the street when sees an East-Indian screaming at the top of a three story building.

East Indian: "Help me, help me. The building's on fire!"
Racist: "I'm not going to help you. You're East-Indian!"
East Indian: "I am not. I'm Mexican!"
Racist: "Oh! I'm sorry." He holds his arms out, "Ok, jump!"

The East-Indian jumps and right before he's about to land in the racist's hands, the racist sweeps his arms away, "Ole!"

[mack4289]

A woman goes to see a doctor and afterwards her husband asks the doctor what's wrong with his wife. The doctor says, "Your wife either has Alzheimer's or AIDS."

The husband asks, "How can I tell which one she has?"

The doctor says, "Drive her to the middle of nowhere and drop her off. If she makes it back home, don't sleep with her."

[mnhnhyouh]

God comes down from heaven not long after creation, and says to Adam and Eve that he has a few things left over from creation, that maybe they would like.

"What have you got?", asks Adam.

"Lets see", says god, "This is the ability to pee standing up!".

"Me, me, me, I want it!" yells Adam.

God looks at Eve who shrugs, so god bestows upon Adam the ability to pee standing up. Adam runs off, pees on a tree, writes his name in the dirt, chases a cigarette butt around the urinal, and runs off into the distance peeing on everything in sight.

"What else do you have?", asks Eve.

"Let me see, hmmm, what about multiple orgasms?" says god.


h

[ajuma]

[daz1979]

Man comes home from work to find his wife sprawled out, naked, with red rose petals scattered the bed and handcuffs laid on the side.

"tie me up and do whatever you like" she says

"really, whatever I like" he says

"yes"

So the husband tied his wife to the bed, went into the closet, got out his tackle and.................................










fcked off fishing



Boom, boom, tish!!

[mack4289]

Two guys are out drinking and one guy says, "I've gotta be sure not to drink too much. I promised my wife I'd be home soon." But his friend doesn't want to hear it. He keeps pressuring him to drink more and more. Finally the guy leaves the bar, hours later than he promised, and literally crawls home on his hands and knees.

He makes it to his bed, his wife takes one look at him and says, "You bastard. You promised you'd be home earlier and you promised you wouldn't get so drunk."

He says, "I know I'm really late but I'm not that drunk. I swear to God, honey, I only had a few drinks."

She says, "A few drinks? If you only had a few drinks, where's your wheelchair?"

[JMO]

[Drunken Monkey]

A Frenchman an Italian and Englishman are all discussing how good they are in bed.

The French guy says �When I make love to my wife, her orgasms are so intense she floats an inch off the bed!�

The Italian guy interrupts and says �When I make my wife orgasm she floats a whole foot off the bed�

The English guy laughs at both of them and says �That�s nothing, when I make love to my wife she hits the roof!�

Both the French and Italian guys are amazed and ask how?

�Simple� Says the English guy, �Once I have finished I wipe my dick on the curtains�

[amberflannery]

why dont old people have sex?

have you ever tried to open a grilled cheese before?


what do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?

a quarter pounder with cheese!!

what did the chinese couple name their retarded baby?

sum ting wong!

[jajdude]

Heard this on the Letterman show:

A woman dies and goes to heaven. At the gates St. Peter says, "You may go in if you can answer this question: What did Eve say the first time she saw Adam naked?"

The woman thinks, "Hmm.. that's a hard one."

St Peter: "Go on in."

=======================================
One of my favorite dumb short jokes:

A man in a bar is complaining to his friend: "My wife is so lazy, every time I go to piss in the sink it's full of dirty dishes."

[mack4289]

A rich guy and a poor guy are talking about their anniversaries. The poor guy asks the rich guy, "What'd you buy your wife?"

The rich guy says, "I bought her a mink coat and a Merecedes."

The poor guy asks, "Why'd you buy her that?"

The rich guy says, "Well, I figure if she doesn't like the mink coat, she can get in the Mercedes and take it back. What'd you buy your wife?"

The poor guy says, "A pair of slippers and a di*do."

The rich guy asks, "Why'd you buy her that?"

The poor guy says, "I figure if she doesn't like the slippers, she can go f*ck herself."

(I stole all of these obviously but I can actually tell you where this one came from: The Sopranos, Season 1. Tony tells the joke).

[mytime]

Short joke:

The man walks into a bar and says "ouch!"