Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Bondrock]

an American, North Korean and a South Korean soldier meet for dinner.

After ordering steaks the waiter says
"Excuse me, but we have a shortage of meat..."

the american says "what's a shortage?"
North Korean "what's meat?"










The South Korean says "What's excuse me?"

--------------------

Two old, old admirals meet for dinner. As the pretty waitress bends over one admiral says to the other "when was the last time you had something like that?"

the admiral answers "Oh about 1910"



then he glances at his watch and says "but since it's only 2200 now, i wouldn't mind another go..."


Bond

[rockstarsmooth]

a pedophile and a little boy are walking through a dark forest. the little boy whimpers "ooh, i'm afraid of the forest." the pedo replies, "you're afraid? i'm the one who has to walk out of here alone!"

this one is a long one...
there was this trucker who had been on the road for a really long time, 4 months or so, and always just keeping to his schedule. of course this meant he had no time for recreation, just driving and sleeping.
well, as he enters nevada, he sees a sign on the side of the road that proclaims "granny's whorehouse, next exit." looking at his watch, he sees that for the first time in 4 months he is actually ahead of schedule, 3 hours ahead. so when he comes to the exit, he pulls off and drives to the end of the road.
the exit is nothing more than a dirt track, and at the end of it is a big old house, with a giant wraparound verandah. and on that verandah is an old woman sitting in a rocking chair. the trucker brakes, turns off the engine, and just about races over to the old woman.
"are you granny?"
"yessir, i am"
"so this is granny's whorehouse then?"
"it certainly is!"
he explains his situation, he's got 3 hours, and he needs a woman, now!
granny is sympathetic, but she has bad news for him, unfortunately all the girls are booked solid, there's no one available!
the trucker is dejected, he's out in the middle of nowhere, there's no way he'll find another whorehouse in time and still keep to his schedule.
as he turns away, granny says, "you can nail me if you like."
now this granny is a desert rat. she's old, dry and leathery. not at all attractive, if you know what i'm saying. he ponders it briefly, and then turns her down. he's not quite that desperate. yet.
so she ups the ante, "i'll pop out my glass eye and you can bang the socket. if you don't have the best orgasm of your life, you won't have to pay for it. but i guarantee it'll be the most mind-blowing sex you ever have. pardon the pun."
of course he's repulsed, but ultimately he does it (you knew that was coming didn't you?), and she's right, it is really and truly the best sex he's ever had in his life!
as he's laying there on the porch (they didn't even make it to a room), panting and gasping for air, twitching spasmodically, he manages to pull some sentences together and get them out.
"granny, that was incredible. i can't believe it! i'll be back around this way again in a couple of months. can we do this again?"
and granny says,







wait for it,


























"sure sonny, i'll keep an eye out for ya!"

hehehe...
rss



right now i'm listening to: ween - reggae junkie jew

[Bondrock]

sick...


this is sicker....


sorry


too drunk

[JohnTeacher]

Yeah...that Tom Jones is still going strong! Over 40 years since "It's Not Unusual" and "She's A Lady" and women are still throwing their panties at him. 'Course the only downside is they've got Depends in 'em.....

[JohnTeacher]

A guy walks into a bar with a monkey and sits him down at the bar. The bartender tells him that animals aren't allowed in the bar.
"But he's got a special talent!" claims the man, who quickly unzips and pulls out his John Thomas. He gives the monkey a quick crack up the side of the head and the monkey proceeds to strap him a header. After it's finished, the man starts to zip up and smilingly asks the bartender if he'd like to try it.
"Well OK," replies the bartender,"as long as you don't crack me up the side of the head."

[BS.Dos.]

A woman walked into a bar and asked for a double entendre.

So I gave her one.

*************************************************

What's the difference between a lorry load of sand and a lorry load of kittens?

you can't unload a lorry full of sand with a pitchfork


*************************************************


It has been confirmed that 80% of scousers have now had sex in the shower.

The other 20% haven't been to prison yet.


*************************************************

[JohnTeacher]

A little boy is riding his tricycle when suddenly all three wheels fall off.
"Unf**kin' believeable!!", the boy exclaims...much to the astonishment of a passing priest.

"You shouldn't talk that way." says the priest as he helps put the wheels back on. "Next time this happens look up to the heavens and say, "Heaven help me!!".

Sure enough the boy is riding his trike the next day, as the priest is walking by. 'Bing, bang, boing' the wheels suddenly fall off. The boy looks at the priest, looks up and shouts, "Heaven help me!!!"

Miraculously there's a flash of light and the wheels pop back on the bike.

"Unf**kin' believable!!!" says the priest.

[BS.Dos.]

15 sailors captured in Iran: 14 male and 1 female.

Doesn't take a genius to work out who was reading the fucking map.

[mack4289]

What do you say to the man who calls your mother a w*ore?

Yeah, and she gave your father AIDS.