Canuck Teacher
Joined: 18 Feb 2007
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 Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2007 2:35 am Post subject: Terrorist Threatens to Poison Brits |
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Give me $5 million or I'll poison your cigarettes
Revealed: The tobacco blackmailer's chemical arsenal of death
by Lester Haines // Rockfill Times, Manchester
The madman who has threatened to poison British cigarettes unless he is paid $5 million may have access to a deadly arsenal of chemical agents, we can reveal.
The anonymous blackmailer has targeted the British American Tobacco Company, ordering that the cash be deposited into two online bank accounts. Failure to comply will result in a deadly serum being injected into the BAT's most popular brands, including Rothmans and Benson & Hedges.
Terrifyingly, experts have confirmed that the man may already have formulated a killer cocktail of poisons with which to turn the harmless pastime of smoking into a chilling game of Russian roulette for hapless smokers. One scientist, nervously puffing on a Capstan Full Strength, told The Rockall Times: "The worst-case scenario is if this lunatic were to contaminate cigarettes with chemical agents such as Dimethylnitrosamine, Ethylmethylnitrosamine and Nitrosopyrrolidine. For added effect he might add Hydrazine, Vinyl Chloride, Urethane and Formaldehyde. All are known carcinogens. The effect on the population could be devastating."
Rockall's resident medical expert, Dr Antonia Nicorette Black, outlined the likely result of exposure: "Once absorbed into the system over a period of twenty to thirty years, these chemicals begin to attack the body's respiratory and circulatory system. Initial symptoms would include breathlessness, chest pains and impotence. Finally, after around forty years, the victim succumbs to a massive heart attack or lung cancer. That someone could consider subjecting innocent people to such a miserable death beggars belief."
Meanwhile, police hunting the madman have asked chemists to report anyone in a balaclava attempting to buy some or all of the following chemicals, which they suspect might also be used to increase the deadly effects of his murderous concoction:
Carbon Monoxide
Hydrogen Cyanide
Ammonia
Nitric acid
Hydrogen cyanide
Acetone
Nitrous acid
Last edited by Canuck Teacher on Sat Mar 31, 2007 2:46 am; edited 1 time in total |
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