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Alyallen

Joined: 29 Mar 2004 Location: The 4th Greatest Place on Earth = Jeonju!!!
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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2007 7:17 pm Post subject: |
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| willneverteachagain wrote: |
| he must be a korean cop and he's going to take us away when we tell him our "stories" |
"He" is actually a she who neither Korean nor a cop.
Newest stupidest thing wasn't even by my dooing. I ran a marathon yesterday...My first one. What I didn't know is that it was some high alert for the yellow dust. I didn't wear a mask or anything and now I feel like I' drowning in my own mucus.
Delightful!  |
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yawarakaijin
Joined: 08 Aug 2006
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Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2007 12:04 am Post subject: |
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#1 Ran the half marathon in Vancouver a few years back. Forgot to tape my nipples. By they end I was wondering why everyone was staring at me, only to look down and find two red circles of blood pooling on my shirt where my nipples were. I bet not a lot of you realized that nipple taping needs to be done Damn that shower stung like a sonnavabitch. ( it was raining during the race, didnt realize i was bleeding )
#2 While taking a piss one day I felt a sneeze coming on. Just from bad habit I plugged my nose just before I sneezed. All that force redirected itself and my .5 cm wide stream of urine became about 1 cm wide. Bled for a few days and avoided all liquids in fear of having to pee again. Damn that hurt like hell, would not wish that kind of pain on anyone.
#3 Chose a job in Japan over the absolute most amazing girl. She was half Brazilian and half Japanese, truly an incredible sight to behold. She was a peach, beautiful and smart. I swear to god people would stop me on the streets to tell me how beautiful she was and how lucky I should feel. I was 30 at the time, thought I had to go out and make some real cash instead of,yet again, following my heart. 6 months later she got married. Still kicking myself and heart broken over that one. Twice as painful as a powerfully focused 1 cm wide urine stream. |
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hogwonguy1979

Joined: 22 Dec 2003 Location: the racoon den
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Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2007 12:16 am Post subject: |
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forgot about a term paper in a british history class
nearly flunked the course because of that |
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milkweedma
Joined: 15 Dec 2006
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Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2007 7:09 pm Post subject: Police breathyliser patrol |
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| I purposely went through a police breathyliser patrol just for fun once whilst out riding my motorbike only to realise I didnt have a current WOF (Warrent of Fitness). They gave me a ticket to pay but as long as I got a warrent asap the ticket became null and void. |
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khyber
Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: Compunction Junction
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Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2007 8:11 pm Post subject: |
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--My professor was watching a band play at a local church. The next day I asked him "if he threw his panties as the drummer" (a mutual friend)
He replied, "Actually, it was a funeral".
--*See "near death" thread*
--re-signed at my last hawon
--leaving a pipe in between my parents couch cushions
--wasted the gift of "a plane ticket ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD" to go see an ex-gf who lived in Whitby ontario who broke up with me when we went back to school cause she was affraid we were gonna have sex.
crap...I STILL kick myself over that. |
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yawarakaijin
Joined: 08 Aug 2006
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Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2007 10:26 pm Post subject: |
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I'm originally from Oshawa, Ontario. Been to Whitby quite a few times for soccer matches. I'd say you had wasted your ticket just going anywhere near that place ( girl or no girl )
That being said, the second dumbest thing anyone could ever do would be purposely going to Oshawa.  |
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Lizara

Joined: 14 Apr 2004 Location: Seoul
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Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2007 3:09 am Post subject: |
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| I forgot my passport was in my pants pocket when I threw them in the washing machine two days before I was scheduled to fly out of Korea. |
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Young FRANKenstein

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Location: Castle Frankenstein (that's FRONKensteen)
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Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2007 3:11 am Post subject: |
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| yawarakaijin wrote: |
That being said, the second dumbest thing anyone could ever do would be purposely going to Oshawa.  |
Dammit! I guess I have to add it to my list of stupidities. (I worked at GM in the Central Functions plant when I was a young'un) |
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plokiju

Joined: 15 Mar 2005
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Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2007 8:37 am Post subject: |
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I was having visa issues at the end of last year. Immigration told me they couldn't give me a new visa unless I dropped a lawsuit I was going through with... well am still going through with. I found a school that was willing to let me work there illegally. I just needed a place to stay really since I was spending my savings to win less money than what I would've spent staying here with no job. I had been staying with a gay friend of mine and sleeping in the same bed because I decide that's how homophobic I wasn't (or an indication of how desperate I was). Then one night he tells me he's had a big crush on me. I digress, but anyways, the contract was a piece of shit but I figured no one else would hire me and it was worth it just for a place to stay. I signed the contract because immigration had assured me they would never approve another visa.
Then the school decides to apply for one anyways, we go down to immigration (the immigration fellows knew my face well by this point) and I figured they would lecture me for even trying. We go back to work in the afternoon and I was sure the visa was going to be denied. But one day I hear that the visa has been approved. I was so mortified because I could've gotten a job at a much better school. Also all the shit things in the contract suddenly became valid. I had thought that worse comes to worse it was illegal and I could leave at any time without repercussions. Started out OK and the boss decided to get serious about a curriculum and added a bunch of new classes. So now I'm working legally at my 3rd hagwon (I've had 3 visas with only 14 months of teaching) which may be the worst as far as classes go. I've given my notice now though and can't wait until these friggin' 8 weeks are over. (Quit my first one. Wonderland school, no need to say anything more. Fired from the 2nd for requesting pension and overtime. Korea has not been kind to me).
My case is finally going to court in 2 weeks after only 5 months of waiting. I'll embarrass him in court but he won't pay and I'm not going to sit around another 3 months to go back to court to file a lien on his property while I work in hagwon hell. |
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the eye

Joined: 29 Jan 2004
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Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2007 8:59 am Post subject: |
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Trying to outrun and hide from RCMP highway patrol, in another province. Ended up with a shotgun pointed at my car, and then my back.
The patrol was parked on the opposite side of a 4 lane highway, facing the opposite direction.
I was speeding around a bend, and spotted him too late. Afraid he clocked me, i rounded the bend and peeled off onto a dirt road. It went downhill and eventually parallel with the highway.
I stopped the car, turned off all the lights and watched the higheay up above, waiting for him to speed by. All seemed well for a few minutes. I thought I outfoxed him.
I was thinking it would be impossible for him to do a U-turn across all those lanes....
Well, he did. It was night and he didn't turn on his red and blues.
Next thing I hear from my rental car.
"Driver, hands where I can see them!"
The cop, for some unknown reason, let me go with a 75$ fine. He threatened everything he could do to me... but finally just let me go. |
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periwinkle
Joined: 08 Feb 2003
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Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 4:32 am Post subject: |
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I spent $6000 on a Berlitz program to learn Mandarin. My former company would reimburse the money if I got language qualified by taking a test over the phone. I paid another girl (a native speaker) to take the test for me to guarantee my passing. You can figure out what happened...
I almost got away with it, too...
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traxxe

Joined: 21 Feb 2007
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Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 6:38 am Post subject: |
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I'm pretty legendary at my college for one fuckup a couple of years ago. My fraternity throws a party called SOB (South of the Border) and we drop upwards of 2k on kegs of mexican beer, bottles of beer, and tequilla.
This is a private college with 1200 kids and we do private fraternities and sororities that are small.
Anyway, I've always been a little termpermental and have fight experience. I never had been tequilla drunk before....
Fourteen pre-party shots of tequilla and unknown amounts of beer later I snapped.
It started when I was serving. I got too drunk to open bottles with the bottle opener so I started using my teeth.
Then I got frustrated, threw the bar over and jumped over it and started punching men and randomly kissing women. I would make out with a girl, stop, punch someone. I punched about 20 people. No one would fight me after I hit them. My fraternity members were told by the campus cop we hired that he was too scared to arrest me and he was going to unload his clip into me. He was a really cool guy too, owned a bar in town. He drew his gun but my friends intervened.
Anyway, six guys brought me down and a woman (the one I'm headed to Korea with) talked me out of my violence and drug me into my bedroom. They barricaded me in my room. Two friends stayed inside after I broke through the door and fridge blocking it. I hit them both many times until I passed out in my bed. At one point I was groaning and falling out of my bed my best friend Jeff, who had knots and welts all over his face and head was helping me back in it because he thought I was out for the night.
I mumbled what is going on. He joked he had me in an arm bar (MMA move). Suddenly I came vivid, threw him across the room and through my computer desk. I was naked at this point and couldn't get out of my room, they barricaded again while Jeff ensured I didn't die in my sleep. I then went through the closed window naked. I walked to our porch, sat down with people all around me. I looked to a girl I used to mess around with her and told her, "If anyone has messed with you, let me know. I'll kill them." She jokingly pointed to my alumni. I broke his nose. Repeat being taken down, baricaded in my room.
Anyway, I woke up two hours later when two concerned girls I knew who were drunk insisted on making sure I was okay. They came in through the window as they couldn't move anything else. I began my first three way. My buddy Jeff came in during it to make sure I was alive. I have no recollection of any of this, ugh.
When I woke up one clever alumni comes to me and tells me he really enjoyed hanging out with me. That I was really cool all night long but really wasted. The party got out of hand but I passed out. My brothers though decided to play a joke on me and say I went nuts, punched dozens of people, had a three way, dove through a window but really I just passed out and fell into my window.
So the next morning when the alumni comes up to me and tells me I broke his nose and fucked up a bunch of other people. I thought they were all fuckign with me. I told him that I was happy to have done it! That he was about to get the shit kicked out of him again. (I was till drunk a little and thought he was lying)
Anyway, years later I still get stuff like this on my facebook or hear about this from people I've never met.
Jeff Hernandez (WTAMU) wrote
at 3:32am on November 12th, 2006
Hey playa........... Hope you had a bad ass time and did not assault anyone at SOB
Sarah Clark wrote
at 12:26am on December 8th, 2006
didn't you beat the shit out of someone at SOB?
Ada wrote
at 7:55am on November 9th, 2006
One word. It's both a question and an exclamation. S. O. B?! The correct response should be..."Hell Yeah!" See you this weekend...? Don't kill anyone.
That was a few years back and I haven't been tequilla drunk since.
My friend on guard duty with an unfortunate victim recovering behind him.
The alumni who told me they were all lies with me the next morning helping me around.
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