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Korean Job Discussion Forums
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bnrockin
Joined: 27 Feb 2006
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 Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 8:40 am Post subject: difference b/w sleeping and dating a foreigner? |
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So I met a girl about 4 nights ago and she says to me "I'd never date a white guy." Fair enough I guess. However, we go out that night to a club and she is all over me and throwing herself at all these other white guys in the club and telling me how hot I am, etc.
So my question here is if there is a difference between a girl dating a white guy and just sleeping with one for one night. Something is off between what she said and what she did. |
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Bibbitybop
Joined: 22 Feb 2006
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 3:50 pm Post subject: |
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Sleeping with you = Sex, and it's probably secret
Dating you = Having a relationship that her friends and family will know about, and not approve of |
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jdog2050
Joined: 17 Dec 2006
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 4:02 pm Post subject: |
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| Bibbitybop wrote: |
Sleeping with you = Sex, and it's probably secret
Dating you = Having a relationship that her friends and family will know about, and not approve of |
Yep. |
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bobbyhanlon
Joined: 09 Nov 2003
Location: 서울
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 5:18 pm Post subject: |
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i'd say thats a pretty common state of affairs. the question is, do you swallow your pride, accept your inferior status happily and get freaky with her, or tell her to get lost?
its funny... until i came to korea, i'd never felt 'like a piece of meat'.. i think men in general dream of being used just for sex by a girl, but then when it happens, its strangely disappointing. |
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Bibbitybop
Joined: 22 Feb 2006
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 6:37 pm Post subject: |
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| bobbyhanlon wrote: |
i'd say thats a pretty common state of affairs. the question is, do you swallow your pride, accept your inferior status happily and get freaky with her, or tell her to get lost?
its funny... until i came to korea, i'd never felt 'like a piece of meat'.. i think men in general dream of being used just for sex by a girl, but then when it happens, its strangely disappointing. |
Trick is to finding a girl you can date and screw, but having her hide it from her parents. Why? Because you don't have to play social politics with her family, they don't have to worry about their daughter with a foreigner, you and your girl are happy. Everyone wins. |
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bnrockin
Joined: 27 Feb 2006
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 7:07 pm Post subject: |
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That was a really sobering moment for me. I mean we were talking about race and she said she was racist in that perspective. It felt like a cheap punch to the gut. I wonder if that is how it always feels for people who encounter racism. Mine was just a scratch in the surface compared to what some people endure everyday.
You do make a good point though about the friends and family perspective. I can understand that families might want to keep the race clean or something, but does that apply to all other races like Japanese and Chinese or is it only like whites and blacks, etc. |
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jg
Joined: 27 May 2003
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 7:16 pm Post subject: |
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People say sh*t all the time, so little of it carries any weight. She might only date white guys, that might just be her talking loud to keep it real in word if not deed. And people given to making declarations? Please!
Don't put too much stock in what people say about their dating, drinking, or work habits when so many so readily - and often at the same damn time - contradict themselves. Just smile and watch how she gets down, thats the ticket. I wouldn't even confront her about it, just knowing how she plays her hand oughta be enough, yeah?
The proof is in the Pudding. |
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ajgeddes
Joined: 28 Apr 2004
Location: Yongsan
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 7:35 pm Post subject: |
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| bnrockin wrote: |
| You do make a good point though about the friends and family perspective. I can understand that families might want to keep the race clean or something, but does that apply to all other races like Japanese and Chinese or is it only like whites and blacks, etc. |
I think it is more of being a foreigner, and not that you aren't Korean. I am pretty sure if you were a white dude, who spoke perfect Korean, abided by Korean customs and in fact were going to stay in Korea forever, they wouldn't care.
In reality, to Koreans foreigner usually means, not speaking Korean, not having the proper social customs and eventually taking their girl away from Korea. Families don't always like that. |
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jinju
Joined: 22 Jan 2006
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 7:37 pm Post subject: |
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| Both actually have something in common. Both are things ToddSwift wont have a chance at trying. |
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jdog2050
Joined: 17 Dec 2006
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 7:59 pm Post subject: |
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| bobbyhanlon wrote: |
i'd say thats a pretty common state of affairs. the question is, do you swallow your pride, accept your inferior status happily and get freaky with her, or tell her to get lost?
its funny... until i came to korea, i'd never felt 'like a piece of meat'.. i think men in general dream of being used just for sex by a girl, but then when it happens, its strangely disappointing. |
Bingo. |
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Adventurer
Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 8:06 pm Post subject: |
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| ajgeddes wrote: |
| bnrockin wrote: |
| You do make a good point though about the friends and family perspective. I can understand that families might want to keep the race clean or something, but does that apply to all other races like Japanese and Chinese or is it only like whites and blacks, etc. |
I think it is more of being a foreigner, and not that you aren't Korean. I am pretty sure if you were a white dude, who spoke perfect Korean, abided by Korean customs and in fact were going to stay in Korea forever, they wouldn't care.
In reality, to Koreans foreigner usually means, not speaking Korean, not having the proper social customs and eventually taking their girl away from Korea. Families don't always like that. |
I disagree with that. Many people in Korea are like the rednecks of the South. They feel it is an insult to the family if their daughter marries a foreigner. Some of them are just fine with it, but there are many who would be so livid about it. Come on. One of my friends has been dating a Korean man, and he hasn't presented her to the folks. The mother wouldn't approve. I knew a guy from California who got slapped on the face by his K-girl's father. We are talking about Korea being in some ways like the Deep South of the U.S. Racism is very strong over here.
As far as that girl, she knows her family will disapprove, some in her circle will look down upon her. However, some Korean parents prefer that their daughter marry a foreigner or don't mind at all, because she might have more options, could immigrate, and many Western men don't have some of the same problems if they are educated with working crazy hours and drinking soju. |
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ajgeddes
Joined: 28 Apr 2004
Location: Yongsan
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 8:49 pm Post subject: |
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| Adventurer wrote: |
| ajgeddes wrote: |
| bnrockin wrote: |
| You do make a good point though about the friends and family perspective. I can understand that families might want to keep the race clean or something, but does that apply to all other races like Japanese and Chinese or is it only like whites and blacks, etc. |
I think it is more of being a foreigner, and not that you aren't Korean. I am pretty sure if you were a white dude, who spoke perfect Korean, abided by Korean customs and in fact were going to stay in Korea forever, they wouldn't care.
In reality, to Koreans foreigner usually means, not speaking Korean, not having the proper social customs and eventually taking their girl away from Korea. Families don't always like that. |
I disagree with that. Many people in Korea are like the rednecks of the South. They feel it is an insult to the family if their daughter marries a foreigner. Some of them are just fine with it, but there are many who would be so livid about it. Come on. One of my friends has been dating a Korean man, and he hasn't presented her to the folks. The mother wouldn't approve. I knew a guy from California who got slapped on the face by his K-girl's father. We are talking about Korea being in some ways like the Deep South of the U.S. Racism is very strong over here.
As far as that girl, she knows her family will disapprove, some in her circle will look down upon her. However, some Korean parents prefer that their daughter marry a foreigner or don't mind at all, because she might have more options, could immigrate, and many Western men don't have some of the same problems if they are educated with working crazy hours and drinking soju. |
First of all, you aren't totally disagreeing with me. Like I said, it has more to do with being a foreigner than not being ethnically Korean. |
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Adventurer
Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 9:48 pm Post subject: |
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| ajgeddes wrote: |
| Adventurer wrote: |
| ajgeddes wrote: |
| bnrockin wrote: |
| You do make a good point though about the friends and family perspective. I can understand that families might want to keep the race clean or something, but does that apply to all other races like Japanese and Chinese or is it only like whites and blacks, etc. |
I think it is more of being a foreigner, and not that you aren't Korean. I am pretty sure if you were a white dude, who spoke perfect Korean, abided by Korean customs and in fact were going to stay in Korea forever, they wouldn't care.
In reality, to Koreans foreigner usually means, not speaking Korean, not having the proper social customs and eventually taking their girl away from Korea. Families don't always like that. |
I disagree with that. Many people in Korea are like the rednecks of the South. They feel it is an insult to the family if their daughter marries a foreigner. Some of them are just fine with it, but there are many who would be so livid about it. Come on. One of my friends has been dating a Korean man, and he hasn't presented her to the folks. The mother wouldn't approve. I knew a guy from California who got slapped on the face by his K-girl's father. We are talking about Korea being in some ways like the Deep South of the U.S. Racism is very strong over here.
As far as that girl, she knows her family will disapprove, some in her circle will look down upon her. However, some Korean parents prefer that their daughter marry a foreigner or don't mind at all, because she might have more options, could immigrate, and many Western men don't have some of the same problems if they are educated with working crazy hours and drinking soju. |
First of all, you aren't totally disagreeing with me. Like I said, it has more to do with being a foreigner than not being ethnically Korean. |
How is that different from someone in Alabama or Ontario not wanting his son to marry a girl from China or India? |
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ajgeddes
Joined: 28 Apr 2004
Location: Yongsan
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 9:54 pm Post subject: |
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| Adventurer wrote: |
| How is that different from someone in Alabama or Ontario not wanting his son to marry a girl from China or India? |
It's not. But is it because that person is from a different country, or is it because they look different? I agree with the fact that a lot of people don't want their children marrying people from different countries and cultures. I think the case in Korea is less that they are not Korean looking and more that they are not from Korea. Yes, I know Korea isn't a diverse place like NA, but that isn't their fault. |
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SHANE02
Joined: 04 Jun 2003
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| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 10:22 pm Post subject: Re: difference b/w sleeping and dating a foreigner? |
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| bnrockin wrote: |
So I met a girl about 4 nights ago and she says to me "I'd never date a white guy." Fair enough I guess. However, we go out that night to a club and she is all over me and throwing herself at all these other white guys in the club and telling me how hot I am, etc.
So my question here is if there is a difference between a girl dating a white guy and just sleeping with one for one night. Something is off between what she said and what she did. |
Don't worry about it. By the sounds of it, dating her would be a bad ideas anyway. Shagging also could be risky. |
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