Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Panic]

One day I tried in vain to convince my students that I was 'dangerous' because when I was a uni student I liked to protest against the government.

I went as far as telling my hagwon class of mid level middle schoolers that my country's CIA had 'a file with my name on it' but they were seemingly unconvinced.

Sadly my students were mildly distracted that day as it was so hot I had worn shorts to class for the 1st time ever. However when at the end of my story I asked .....

"So, class do you think 'teacher' is a dangerous person?"

one smart girl bluntly stated on behalf of the class .....

"No 'teacher' but your [hairy] legs are VERY dangerous!"

everyone in the classroom cracked =D

[poet13]

Nice one. My kids saw my ink and asked about it. So I said I was mafia. Damned if they didn't believe me. It took some convincing that I was only joking.

[PBEnglish]

This one happened about 2 weeks ago. I was teaching a middle-level (age 9 and 10) about food. "What kind of food do you like", "what kind of food don't you like" kind of things.
So, I'm going around the room asking the kids..."What kind of food do *you* like", and I'm getting all the typical answers..."Pizza", "Hamburgers", "Chicken", etc. I eventually come upto Nick, who is a very smart student, but a definate smart ass.
So I say to Nick "Nick, what kind of food do you like"...he sits for a minute and YELLS "Balls".
I sat there for about 30 seconds trying not to die laughing, then I ask him if he meant "meatballs? Like you get with spaghetti".
To which he replied:

"No teacher, I like balls".

I think about that now and I still can not stop laughing.

[Rapacious Mr. Batstove]

At my first Hagwon job, I taught a writing class of around 15 twelve year olds. There were some really bright kids in the class and they would really impress me with new vocab they has learned from their own study at home.

Susan was one of the best students and had a really good grasp of sentence structure and sported an impressive vocab list. On one occasion the students were writing journal entries about what they like to do in their free time. They didn't finish in time so I set the task for homework.

Susan handed me in her paper the next day beautifully decorated. She had obviously gone home and got to work with the electronic dictionary..

"In my free time I enjoy playing with my friends and necrophilia love"

All I could do was circle the offending word and put a question mark. I still can't figure out which word she was aiming for and overshot the mark on the electronic dictionary. I was too stunned to laugh at the time but now it totally cracks me up with I think of it!

[wowser]

Two that really stand out:
We were talking about colors. Some of the kids decided to impress me and do some extra work for homework. They looked up 'difficult' color names in their electronic dictionaries. The next day I got these beautifully presented rainbows with the colors written in English...Indigo translates as Nam seak- which- depending on the Chinese characters you use- also happens to mean bugg$@y or sodomy. You can guess what was written on one student's rainbow...

The second was also a homework assignment that went to custard. We were talking about bugs and creepy crawly things. I said that I had seen a giant centipede eating a mouse. The students asked me where I had seen it and I said that I 'googled' it. Their homework was to find pictures of creepy-crawlies. the next day, this one loveable, quiet kid comes up to me before class and shows me his homework. There were four A4 sized pictures of giant centipedes...make that 3 A4 sized pictures of centipedes and one of :shock:oh my goodness......He had googled 'mouse eating centipede' (or something similar) and some twit had changed the link. It no longer went to the u tube video- it went to a picture of a man holding 'free willy.' That's right- a whale's 'appendage'. This is the picture that the kid printed out...Mmmmmm what to say...what to say.... "Teacher- why are you crying?"

[SeoulShakin]

Ok this wasn't IN the classroom, but it happened today and it made me laugh, so I thought I'd share it.

This afternoon, as I was sitting in my classroom being paid to surf the net, I heard a loud ruckus outside my classroom door. It's a group of 6th grade boys, all kind of yelling, and pushing eachother toward something.

I popped my head outside my door, with the intention of telling them to leave, when one boy exclaims "SEOULSHAKIN TEACHER! HELP US PLEASE! HELP US CATCH IT!"

So I'm thinking... dear God, catch what!?!? Some sort of huge scary bug, a cat, did a bird fly through the window, is there an axe murderer around here?

At this point, one of the smaller boys, kind of trembles, breaks into a nervous grin, and points toward the girls bathroom. I took a peek inside the door and I spot what needs to be caught........ their soccer ball.

The boys were apparently fighting with eachother to see who would step inside the whole 4 feet to get the ball out of the girls bathroom. I got it for them, smiled, laughed, and said "so you boys can't go in the girls bathroom, right?" and they all said "yes teacher! Thank you so much!".

Made my afternoon.

[ilovebdt]

[Yu_Bum_suk]

Today in my grade 3 HS class we were doing sentence completion and starting - I give them half a sentence and they do the rest. They started getting on a bit of a theme with sentences like 'I bought sexy innerwear so I was really happy', 'She was angry because her husband had immoral conduct with a next door girl', 'I found (19) vedio so I called my friends with look (19) vedio', etc.

There's nothing quite so fun as being naughty in Konglish, is there?

[richardlang]

One of my students wrote "I went to the spermarket."

[captain kirk]

Grade 3 in the public elementary school this morning. Suddenly, someone sees a mouse at the back of the classroom, near the sink. This causes a commotion, 'chi, chi!', and a third of the class near the back are standing up, either ready to run or to get a better view of the mouse (gone by now). The Korean co-teacher (46, actually a music teacher, like a skinny hawk-owl) looks blase about it, as if the kids are fussing about nothing, and they are. The co-teacher looks like she thinks,
'these kids really need their heads examined'. Should there be a rolly-eyed emoticon in real life she was wearing it.

[ajuma]

In my high-level uni writing class (ok...not EVERYONE is high level!! ) I had them write directions for doing things (imperatives). One guy, who was writing about surfing the internet, wrote "Catch the mouse."!

Guess he should have been in captain kirk's class!!

[Tjames426]

Korean students have a problem with sh and s. There are lessons in which I do a lot of phonics and pronounciation practice.

Ok, everyone. Lets say: Sit.

I go down the line. They have no idea what they are doing wrong. But they are working very hard to say "sit instead of .... .

Cracks me up.

[richardlang]

[Mary-Jane]

Several of my students also have a problem saying the 'ee' in 'Sheet' and will pronounce it as a short 'i' sound.

'Did everyone do their homework?'

'Yes Teacher, I did the...'

'What did I ask you to do for homework?'

'Sh-t'.

After several hours of teaching, just hearing this little error makes it hard to keep a straight face.

[oldfatfarang]

My best adult students' quotes:

Can't remember exactly, but they went something like this:

Teacher: "What job do you want?"
Ss: "I want to work in the Department of Erections."
Teacher: "Err, I don't understand. What job?"
Ss: "Department of Erections."
Teacher: "What job is that?"
Ss: "Erections, The Department of Erections."
Teacher: "Oh, you mean voting."
Ss: "Yes. Erections. Department of Erections."


Business English Class:
Businessman 1: "You should eat dog for 'stamina.'
Teacher: What is stamina?
Businessman 2: "Stamina. Stamina. Bedroom." (or something like that).
Teacher: "Oh, stamina. Western people use science. We use Viagra.
Company President: (gets really excited and shouts) "I need Viagra. I need Viagra."
Teacher: (Unable to respond - hiding face and convulsive laughter).