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Adventurer
Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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 Posted: Thu Apr 19, 2007 5:31 pm Post subject: |
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Well, I would not call these people desperate, princess. There is no need to judge them. Love is not a science as you know. They talked for a while on the net, probably talked on the phone a lot, found they have so much in common, he lived far away, and they felt they didn't want to waste any time and wanted to be happy. Let's just wish them luck.
They are two people looking for love like so many people out there.
I knew a girl who met a guy through the internet. They talked for some months. Then he flew over and spent a couple of weeks and decided he wanted to marry her. She wanted to, too. This is a very smart girl, mind you. She has a little girl and is happy with her husband. |
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djsmnc
Joined: 20 Jan 2003
Location: Dave's ESL Cafe
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| Posted: Thu Apr 19, 2007 7:24 pm Post subject: |
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| I heard some from some women that there are guys in Itaewon who propose marriage in the first minute. I suppose the special thing about this story is that she actually said "Yes" |
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jeffkim1972
Joined: 10 Jan 2007
Location: Mokpo
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| Posted: Thu Apr 19, 2007 11:15 pm Post subject: |
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| Princess is absolutely right.. she knows what she's talking about... |
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ilovebdt
Joined: 03 Jun 2005
Location: Nr Seoul
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| Posted: Thu Apr 19, 2007 11:42 pm Post subject: |
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My sister met and married her hubbie within three months of meeting him.
10 years down the line they are still together and have two sons.
ilovebdt |
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nobbyken
Joined: 07 Jun 2006
Location: Yongin ^^
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| Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 1:06 am Post subject: |
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| If love is rules, theories and opinions..............it's not love. |
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storysinger81
Joined: 25 Mar 2007
Location: Daegu
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| Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 8:17 am Post subject: |
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I'm a romantic. I believe in true love. I want one day to fall head-over-heels, knock-my-socks-off, can't-live-without-him in love (and naturally, have it reciprocated) and then marry that person. However, I am, of necessity, a pragmatist who understands that marriage is a responsibility, not a fairy tale. While love is a necessary prerequisite to a great marriage, it is irresponsible to assume that it is the ONLY criteria for such a partnership.
I believe that while you can know deep down from just a single meeting that it was meant to be, it is neither smart nor safe to agree to marry that person (which is a legal and social contract) without having (1) dated long enough to have met the important people in each others' lives, (2) seen the relationship through a setback/disagreement of some kind, and (3) openly discussed the important goals (children, jobs, money, travel, education, etc.) you each have in life to see if they can be intertwined. The big four-minute-proposal = lifetime of happiness thing is great, but it's a crapshoot like winning the lottery. Marriage is forever; what's the big rush?
(Although by the same token, anyone who "doesn't know" if they want to marry someone after dating them for two years, doesn't really want to marry that person and is just comfortable with the status quo. Not that you have to be married in two years, but what kind of relationship is it if it hasn't gone through the three criteria I mentioned above in that time frame? Not a very important one...) |
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princess
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia
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| Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 9:34 pm Post subject: |
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| storysinger81 wrote: |
I'm a romantic. I believe in true love. I want one day to fall head-over-heels, knock-my-socks-off, can't-live-without-him in love (and naturally, have it reciprocated) and then marry that person. However, I am, of necessity, a pragmatist who understands that marriage is a responsibility, not a fairy tale. While love is a necessary prerequisite to a great marriage, it is irresponsible to assume that it is the ONLY criteria for such a partnership.
I believe that while you can know deep down from just a single meeting that it was meant to be, it is neither smart nor safe to agree to marry that person (which is a legal and social contract) without having (1) dated long enough to have met the important people in each others' lives, (2) seen the relationship through a setback/disagreement of some kind, and (3) openly discussed the important goals (children, jobs, money, travel, education, etc.) you each have in life to see if they can be intertwined. The big four-minute-proposal = lifetime of happiness thing is great, but it's a crapshoot like winning the lottery. Marriage is forever; what's the big rush?
(Although by the same token, anyone who "doesn't know" if they want to marry someone after dating them for two years, doesn't really want to marry that person and is just comfortable with the status quo. Not that you have to be married in two years, but what kind of relationship is it if it hasn't gone through the three criteria I mentioned above in that time frame? Not a very important one...) |
I agree with everything you are saying, except I don't believe after one meeting you can know deep down that this is the person you are meant to be with. I believe in lust at first sight, not love at first sight. People who say things like "Oh, I knew from the moment I layed eyes on so and so, that we were meant to be" are just wanting to paint a beauiful, romantic picture to other people to sound special. I believe in lust at first sight and thinking, hmm, MAYBE someday we'll end up married, but not oh yeah, we are definitely going to be married. I wonder how many so called love at first sight romances end in D-I-V-O-R-C-E??????? |
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Missile Command Kid
Joined: 17 Jul 2006
Location: Daegu
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| Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 1:42 am Post subject: |
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| princess wrote: |
| I agree with everything you are saying, except I don't believe after one meeting you can know deep down that this is the person you are meant to be with. I believe in lust at first sight, not love at first sight. People who say things like "Oh, I knew from the moment I layed eyes on so and so, that we were meant to be" are just wanting to paint a beauiful, romantic picture to other people to sound special. |
And you know this because... you can read minds? How can you say with absolute certainty that all people who say that they fell in love at first sight are lying? |
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princess
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia
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| Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 1:46 am Post subject: |
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| Missile Command Kid wrote: |
| princess wrote: |
| I agree with everything you are saying, except I don't believe after one meeting you can know deep down that this is the person you are meant to be with. I believe in lust at first sight, not love at first sight. People who say things like "Oh, I knew from the moment I layed eyes on so and so, that we were meant to be" are just wanting to paint a beauiful, romantic picture to other people to sound special. |
And you know this because... you can read minds? How can you say with absolute certainty that all people who say that they fell in love at first sight are lying? |
Because it's impossible to love someone you don't even know. The two of you could have zero in common and not be a good match. That's not love. It's lust. |
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Missile Command Kid
Joined: 17 Jul 2006
Location: Daegu
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| Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 4:32 am Post subject: |
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| princess wrote: |
| Because it's impossible to love someone you don't even know. |
Prove it. |
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Pak Yu Man
Joined: 02 Jun 2005
Location: The Ida galaxy
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| Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 6:33 pm Post subject: |
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| Missile Command Kid wrote: |
| princess wrote: |
| Because it's impossible to love someone you don't even know. |
Prove it. |
She already did.
BPSS.
Because Princess said so. |
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Adventurer
Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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| Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 8:17 pm Post subject: |
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| Missile Command Kid wrote: |
| princess wrote: |
| I agree with everything you are saying, except I don't believe after one meeting you can know deep down that this is the person you are meant to be with. I believe in lust at first sight, not love at first sight. People who say things like "Oh, I knew from the moment I layed eyes on so and so, that we were meant to be" are just wanting to paint a beauiful, romantic picture to other people to sound special. |
And you know this because... you can read minds? How can you say with absolute certainty that all people who say that they fell in love at first sight are lying? |
Love is not a logical science like Biology or Chemistry. It is true, many times you feel that the person you are meeting for the first time is someone you love.
Can it be true? I suppose you could, in theory, feel something close to loving someone you spent a few days with at a resort, going out on the town, talking until the wee hours of the morning, having daiquiris, and you have this amazing connexion. Sometimes a love that someone feels they obtained in a few days with a person they married
is better than that of some who have had someone for years. It depends on the relationship. I person could treat a girl in an amazing way in a week that would never happen on the same scale with maybe another couple who have been together for months. Things aren't exactly related to time when it comes to love. It is qualitative and only two people can really determine that. I wouldn't advise someone to rush into something, but if I really felt head over heels with someone I felt so connected with you bet your life I would take the plunge. I am not interested in a sanitized life.
That's my 20 cents (factored in inflation for the 2 cents) |
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