|
Korean Job Discussion Forums
"The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!"
|
| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
Adventurer
Joined: 28 Jan 2006
|
 Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 7:29 am Post subject: |
 |
|
| chriswylson wrote: |
"Honestly, I had no idea. I wonder how many dates I've missed out on by not having the courage to sit on my ass."
You still don't get it? If you have to ask a guy out, it means he wasn't interested enough to do it himself. So basically you were wasting your time on those dates. Of course he may well agree to date you for a while, thinking you will be easy to bed, but he will not become any more interested in you because you asked him out. |
You are speaking for yourself, your mindset as particular guy. You aren't speaking for every single guy out there. People have different cultural views in North America about getting asked out about girls. If you are old-fashioned in that area, you might not want to be with her long.
This is the 21st century, if a woman wants a man, she should be respected and if he thought she was worth his time before she verbalized that she was interested before he could ask, so be it. One of my old best friends had his mother ask her father. It was revolutionary for that time in Crete. He didn't lose interest; he married her. It depends on the couple, the man, the woman. That's all.
A man can be shy. He may not know that girl was interested in him.
You are saying if he didn't ask her out that he isn't interested. What if she beat him to the punch? Or she didn't want to risk him going to someone else by not showing she was interested? There are many possibilities with men and women. |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
princess
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia
|
| Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 3:28 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Carmy wrote: |
| kermo wrote: |
| jajdude wrote: |
For women: Even if you have no interest in the guy, don't you like being asked? |
Kind of. It's nice to be admired, but I hate hate hate having to say no. |
I have that same problem!! I feel terrible when I have to reject someone...I often just end up lying saying something like..."errm I'm not really wanting to get involved in a relationship at the moment" Absolute LIE!! But I'd rather let him down easy.
Oh and just to clear something up here about my original post...I wasn't looking for advice as to whether or not to make the first move (because I have done it before and it worked to my advantage) but rather I wanted to gage the responses of the males on this forum as to how they feel about women doing that. And the responses have been interesting to say the least! |
Yeah, and it's usually ugly losers who will ask you out anyways. The ones you want are always with someone already or some kind of complication. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
venus
Joined: 25 Oct 2006
Location: Near Seoul
|
| Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 4:15 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Quote: |
| It's a man's job to work for a girl, because she is the prize. |
That's the thing.
That did used to be the way people understood man and woman relationships. Like, the guy is the lucky one. You know, he had to 'win her heart' - 'win her over' etc.
These days however, I just don't feel it's so much like that anymore. I think it's because of the break down of gender roles in society.
You know, once it was marry a girl and you have someone to keep the bloodline going, tend your house, the physical benefit of having regular sex in a society where free and easy sex was not so readilly available etc. In return you would be the 'breadwinner' and provide her a nest, security.
But what with women being so independent now, being able to pretty much earn an equal salary and provide for themselves and one night stands so available and a lot of men less concerned perhaps with the whole bloodline thing (I for one have no desire to spawn offspring) - I don't really see it being such a disparity anymore ie - the woman being the big prize. The way men view themselves has changed too.
For me I see it as an equal relationship. We both get the same things (sex, emotional closeness and security etc) and are looking perhaps for the same things - so why should the guy work so bloody hard, swallow his pride and act like he's so lucky just to have a girlfriend... just to be with her? Guys just don't really feel like that anymore in my opinion, whether it's for better or for worse, I'm not sure. If she's not willing to act the same way, I see it and feel myself like it's a disparity and it makes me feel like - why should I act like I'm so lucky just to be around her etc, if it's not the same deal for her? What am I - some sort of puppy or pet?
Now, I have no issues with women, am not insecure or a woman hater. And in fact I haven't actually experienced this attitude in the women I've been with - except for Korean girls. And yeah, when the Korean girl expects me to entertain her, pay for everything and act like I'm on top of the world just to share her company, I'm like - 'Well scr*w you you stuck up b*tch.' I know it's just a game, a ritual, but no way I'm taking part in it. And I never call them again.
I've mostly dated / been involved with Japanese and American girls and none of the above issues have arisen in any of the relationships. Well at least not that I've been aware of - ha ha... And if I really like them, I treat them respectfully and nicely anyhow - but not like they're a 'prize' in the sense that Princess mentions. In fact, conversely, I imagine that if you do treat a women like that - she'll think you're sad, not tough enough, a wussy etc... you know - nice guys finish last or whatever...
So yeah, I think guys these days are confused about what women want. There's the whole girl power thing and women giving the impression they want so much independance and gender equality, but interestingly enough, girls whom are friends of mine - once they get into their thirties, I've started noticing that they give up that whole thing and actually start wanting a man who'll be more in controll, be more caring and treat them more like they're 'the prize' in that traditional sense.
So I guess I'm trying to say we're all - men and women - confused about what women actually want these days! Probably vice-versa too.
Or perhaps it's always been that way. Perhaps the beat is the same as it's always been; just the lyrics are slightly different.
Or perhaps that's just me? |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Hollywoodaction
Joined: 02 Jul 2004
|
| Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 4:19 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| TheFonz wrote: |
| False. I also like it when a lady offers to pay. I won't let her if I like her, but if she doesn't offer I certainly will think twice about taking her out again. Plus its better for a males ego if he gets to refuse and say, "No I am paying". |
You're an impostor. If you really were the Fonz, you would have said, "The ladies always ask me out on date...They can pay if it makes them happy." |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
gyopogirlfromtexas
Joined: 21 Apr 2007
Location: Austin,Texas
|
| Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 9:10 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Although I'm not a guy, I think for the most part both the male and female have to be mysterious. We're attracted to mystery and trying to figure out the unknown. People like challenge in general. But not too much mindgames as yall mention(yall means you all in Texas. People make fun of me for saying yall, is it used in only Texas?)
Anyways, it's a huge turnoff to go out with some cheap guy. I think that goes for everygirl. Imagine eating at somewhere that's not even expensive and you pay everything? I think the guy should always pay on the first date. I go half and half or take turns a lot. But for me, I'd better be paying half or less but not for everything. A guy who makes you pay all or most is not a "real" man, just someone who is using me. I |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Adventurer
Joined: 28 Jan 2006
|
| Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 10:52 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| gyopogirlfromtexas wrote: |
Although I'm not a guy, I think for the most part both the male and female have to be mysterious. We're attracted to mystery and trying to figure out the unknown. People like challenge in general. But not too much mindgames as yall mention(yall means you all in Texas. People make fun of me for saying yall, is it used in only Texas?)
Anyways, it's a huge turnoff to go out with some cheap guy. I think that goes for everygirl. Imagine eating at somewhere that's not even expensive and you pay everything? I think the guy should always pay on the first date. I go half and half or take turns a lot. But for me, I'd better be paying half or less but not for everything. A guy who makes you pay all or most is not a "real" man, just someone who is using me. I |
Has it happened to you where some guy was that cheap? If I was clearly dating a girl, I would definitely pick up the tab. But some girls also expect you to pick up the tab even if you aren't dating them or maybe they think you are somehow interested, but you figure you are trying to be a gentleman. Some people take advantage of that. If I am taking a girlfriend out, and it was my suggestion then will gladly pick up the tab. Of course, if she is working, too, she should do that once in a while.
However, you were talking about on the first date. A guy not paying on what is clearly a date is not being appreciative of the woman. You hear that, y'all:) Just playing there. I have no clue if people use y'all outside of Texas.
Anyway, being cheap isn't the way to impress a dime piece, a lady, a senorita, a broad, demoiselle, signorina, or a yowja. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
gyopogirlfromtexas
Joined: 21 Apr 2007
Location: Austin,Texas
|
| Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 12:34 am Post subject: |
|
|
Yea, as a matter of fact, that happened to me. It was Long John Silvers too, that's fast food. That was the first and last time I ever saw him. Lol.  Most of the times I get the guys that pay everything, and half the time I get the guys where we take turns. I think taking turns is good. So you can't ever argue that someone is using someone or someone is a gold digger.
From my experiences the guys that usually pay all the time are better, not that I mind taking turns because that's cool with me too. But most of those guys who pay are such gentlemen. THey open doors, I mean beating you before you have a chance to and sit you down and you're like wow, not many guys do these things these days. Makes me feel special and like a lady! Makes you feel like chivalry isn't dead. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
crusher_of_heads
Joined: 23 Feb 2007
Location: kimbop and kimchi for kimberly!!!!
|
| Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 6:22 am Post subject: |
|
|
| jinju wrote: |
| princess wrote: |
| kermo wrote: |
| So, how's this plan working out for you so far, Princess? |
A hell of a lot better than what I did before. A man loses interest once you start to call, send messages, etc. I have had it happen to me ... |
Probably because you are a man |
no, man.
no.
Then she would be prince, not princess.
You have poor reading comprehension. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
