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Asking Koreans: Why Did You Get Married?
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kermo



Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.

PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 7:06 am    Post subject: Asking Koreans: Why Did You Get Married? Reply with quote

I had a class with my grown-ups tonight, and since we started having "free talk" it's been a blast.

Tonight I used "Jazz English" to start conversations about dating and romance, because the two students who showed up were a grandmother and a single guy. I wanted to hear about their perspectives, and contrast old Korea vs. new Korea, and also West vs. East.

The grandmother had the best stories. She told me about how she met her husband: he was buying something from the company where she worked, and was smitten with her. He would call at her from his 5th floor office as she walked past, and never gave up. She didn't have to play hard-to-get because she actually couldn't stand him.
I guess he wore her down, but when she introduced him to her family, they hated him too. They said his lily-white face made him look like a woman, and that he was too short. Apparently he won the day by "smiling," "always helping" and "giving money."

I asked about her (only) son, and how long he had dated his wife. She replied "6 months." That seemed pretty short, so I asked what the relationship was like-- was it a whirlwind romance? She replied: "My husband and I wanted him to get married because my knee was hurting as I climbed stairs." I was dumbfounded. I wasn't sure I was hearing correctly, and her sentences were just fragments. I sat there, indicating the marriage on the one hand, mom's sore knees on the other hand, trying to figure out what the connection could possibly be-- then I realized! Mom needed someone to take care of her, so her son went out and found a nurse/caregiver in the form of a wife.

I asked her whether she liked her daughter-in-law at first, and she assured me that she did, "because she was very pretty, and silent. I don't like girls who talk too much."
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wylies99



Joined: 13 May 2006
Location: I'm one cool cat!

PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 7:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ask people in the US why they got married-
men = sex Wink
women = money Wink

Wonder why there so many divorces? I don't. Rolling Eyes
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stevemcgarrett



Joined: 24 Mar 2006

PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 7:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rumor has--rumor, mind you--that most Korean men get married so that least if they have to eat kimchee every day they can have it prepared a little different than their mothers do.
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Natalie



Joined: 16 Apr 2007

PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 8:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've heard from 2 different Korean guys that they want to get married because its lonely eating alone Shocked
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Ya-ta Boy



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Established in 1994

PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 1:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sometimes, 'love' stories here just don't measure up on the romance scale, do they?

I met a guy once who got married after he kidnapped a woman who appealed to him but didn't like him. He kept her captive in a mountain cabin until she agreed to marry him. Yes, they are still together.

There was also the guy who got married because he was headed overseas for post-doc work and his mom was afraid he'd marry a foreigner.

On the other hand, how many of us know people who got drunk on prom night, got pregnant in the back of a Chevy and ended up married? That lacks a certain pizzazz, too, if you ask me.
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cdninkorea



Joined: 27 Jan 2006
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 3:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

stevemcgarrett wrote:
Rumor has--rumor, mind you--that most Korean men get married so that least if they have to eat kimchee every day they can have it prepared a little different than their mothers do.


I don't believe that- any Korean man can go to any department or grocery store here and select from dozens of different kinds of kimchi.

Furthermore, there are lots of Korean women who don't know how to make it anyway.
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RACETRAITOR



Joined: 24 Oct 2005
Location: Seoul, South Korea

PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 4:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My father-in-law disowned one of his brothers because the guy raped a woman engaged to be married to another guy. Of course she cancelled their engagement and married the rapist. Then he caught her cheating on him with her original fiance and they got divorced.
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Juregen



Joined: 30 May 2006

PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 4:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

RACETRAITOR wrote:
My father-in-law disowned one of his brothers because the guy raped a woman engaged to be married to another guy. Of course she cancelled their engagement and married the rapist. Then he caught her cheating on him with her original fiance and they got divorced.


This is soap opera right?
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kermo



Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.

PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 4:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

cdninkorea wrote:
stevemcgarrett wrote:
Rumor has--rumor, mind you--that most Korean men get married so that least if they have to eat kimchee every day they can have it prepared a little different than their mothers do.


I don't believe that- any Korean man can go to any department or grocery store here and select from dozens of different kinds of kimchi.

Furthermore, there are lots of Korean women who don't know how to make it anyway.


True-ish. These men will get a slightly different kind of kimchi because their brides will come home with vats of it after visiting their mothers.
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bellum99



Joined: 23 Jan 2003
Location: don't need to know

PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 5:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was having so much fun when I was single..lots of spending money, free time and very happy. I decided I needed to change this and got married.
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Junior



Joined: 18 Nov 2005
Location: the eye

PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 5:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't like the way K-men are rewarded for "persistence".

"You don't need any courtship or social skills. You just have to stalk her and pursue her relentlessly for 6 months. Call 10 times a day and never take no for an answer, even if she obviously hates you and wants you to dissapear".


This is the mark of a desperate psychopath!!
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MissSeoul



Joined: 25 Oct 2006
Location: Somewhere in America

PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 6:01 pm    Post subject: Re: Asking Koreans: Why Did You Get Married? Reply with quote

kermo wrote:
I don't like girls who talk too much."


Yes, when girls talk too much, usually they case troubles.
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MissSeoul



Joined: 25 Oct 2006
Location: Somewhere in America

PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 6:02 pm    Post subject: Re: Asking Koreans: Why Did You Get Married? Reply with quote

same as above, so.... Wink

Last edited by MissSeoul on Mon Apr 23, 2007 6:11 pm; edited 1 time in total
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kermo



Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.

PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 6:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Junior wrote:
I don't like the way K-men are rewarded for "persistence".

"You don't need any courtship or social skills. You just have to stalk her and pursue her relentlessly for 6 months. Call 10 times a day and never take no for an answer, even if she obviously hates you and wants you to dissapear".


This is the mark of a desperate psychopath!!


There's a Korean proverb to do with dating, or just mating, and to paraphrase:

"To chop down a tree, you must swing the axe many times."
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the eye



Joined: 29 Jan 2004

PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 6:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah. A korean friend recently told me that his wife has to get up BEFORE his live-in mother does.

It just wouldn't be 'proper' for a mother-in-law to be up before her daughter-in-law. It would make the latter look like a slob.

So, the daughter-in-law wakes up at 5 every morning.
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