Korean Job Discussion Forums

VanIslander · Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 6:25 pm Post subject:

the notion of a 'reciprocal relationship' in Korea seems to have a very materialistic bent

europe2seoul · Joined: 12 Sep 2005 Location: Seoul, Korea

Well, when we think about REAL girlfirend that means that she actually likes you for what you really are and not for you being a novelty, she being curious or wanting english practice and some fun.

We should talk more about failure rates of foreign man / korean woman relationships. Many times it fails since she does not enter the relationship honestly like being a nice Ms. Kim who one day happens to see a man and falls in love, but that man by coincidence is a foreign man.
Often times this is family pressure, who will neighbours think about her and her friends, before mentioned curiosity/free language lesson factor. But many times it is also language barrier. Basically, a regular Joe foreigner can not speak to most of Korean girls in Korea since he doesn't know Korean and she doesn't know English. Often times, regular Joe would have short relationships or one-night-stands often fueled by vast quantities of alcohol until she realizies that she can't understand a thing about what he is saying and there is an eligible Korean guy who she is also attracted to, can speak & communicate with easily and are from the same background/culture so all those pressures of what if family finds out & what will others say would be non-existant.

So, those say 10% of girls that we can speak too...well, some of them learned english by sleeping around and are not really good girlfriend materials for something long-term. Some of them you are just not compatible with in all or some aspects like you are not compatible as a couple with every western girl.

And also, imagine a girl investing her time, and falling in love, fighting off family pressure because she likes her foreign guy and all that....and then the guy leaves her and goes back to his country while leaving her just because? Me personally often times heard about this scenario from girls I dated....like you are here temporary and dating just for fun, etc. This is especially critical when the girl is 26-29 years old. Korean girls and most girls I know in the west at that time want to have some solid, firm, stable relationship & a guy to depend on. Flaky foreigner moving from a country to a country is not really a good choice.

These are my conclusions based on my dating and stories of others I heard. All that being said, I wouldn't mind meeting a nice real korean girl where we have mutual love & understanding and have future with. But it did not happen.... Smile

rawiri · Joined: 01 Jun 2003 Location: Lovely day for a fire drill.

Take that "advice" with a grain of salt. This board sometimes seems rife with jaded, bitter, lonely, older dudes who would probably struggle to hook up back home let alone here.

Ask yourself a few questions, are you fat?, do you have bad personal hygienge?, are you a johnny no mates? are you an alcoholic? do you possess little to no social skills? answer yes to any of these and there may be your answer to why you haven't hooked up.

FWIW, i've met a truckload of wayguk guys here in my time and i'm yet to see one who is in or is wondering if they are in a relationship that may be a "bludging english lessons" type. If you don't have the nouse to figure that out within the first couple of weeks you shouldn't probably be thinking of procreating anyways.

Pak Yu Man · Joined: 02 Jun 2005 Location: The Ida galaxy

Hey OP. Maybe if you weren't so shallow you'd find a decent girl. Hot chicks in Korea know they are hot and they work that angle. Rich guys would rather marry some hot chick than one with a brain or personality.

Usually the super-hot chicks are worth the effort.

Gamecock · Joined: 26 Nov 2003

As has been posted here, a small percentage of Korean ladies speak English well enough to be in a serious relationship with a foreigner. Likewise, most foreigners aren't here long enough to attain enough fluency in Korean to have a "real" relationship with someone who doesn't speak English.

One of the biggest hurdles I've encountered to becoming serious with a K-gal is the fact that I don't want to live in Korea for the rest of my life. Most Korean girls are very close to their family and don't want to move back home with you and be thousands of miles from their family. Most of the successful relationships I've seen here are when the foreigner has essentially committed to staying in Korea for the long term.

There are a host of other cultural/familial reasons I'm not interested in dating a Korean gal...well, maybe if she was an orphan...

It's not hard to have a hottie hanging on your arm and to have alot of fun in Korea. Mature relationships are much more difficult. It can be done, but it's not easy.

seoulsucker · Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 6:44 pm Post subject:

Been with the same girl 2 years now. Career woman, government official, well educated, doesn't tramp around bars, etc. Oh, and she's quite attractive as well.

However, I would have to say that I'm one of the lucky few in that boat.

I know that if we split that'll be the end of serious relationships in Korea for me. I doubt I'd be able to find another gal like her here.

Bibbitybop · Joined: 22 Feb 2006 Location: Seoul

europe2seoul: Great post. I agree with almost everything you said.

The trick is to finding a girl that speaks English, isn't a *beep* and isn't ready to settle down. If you want to fall in love and get hitched someday, her willingness to travel/live outside Korea is important, too.

djsmnc · Joined: 20 Jan 2003 Location: Dave's ESL Cafe

My girlfriend, a very attractive college girl who comes from a well off conservative family, and who has never come close to even flirting with a foreigner, came to be with me in my home country. We've lived in an apartment with her brother, who also doesn't mind that she and I have often shared the same bed and said and done byun-tae things to each other. Rock and f'ing roll.