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fromtheuk
Joined: 31 Mar 2007
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Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 12:07 am Post subject: Kissing up - Your response is essential! |
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Hello everyone!
In some jobs kissing up is essential to survive.
In other jobs like esl teaching, if you do a good job, are civil, polite and helpful you should get by ok. From my research, this is what I think is required.
I am about to begin my first ever esl job, it's in S. Korea next month, at a public school.
I've read on the current esl teacher's blog for the school where I will work, the Principal may/will expect you to attend dinners with him and colleagues outside of work.
The current teacher there said foreigners are kind of exempt from having to attend them, but what I gathered was initially, when you first arrive, it is good to attend them to get off to a good start.
The current teacher there did say she left some dinners early and said foreigners aren't expected to attend them as much as native Korean teachers.
I myself dislike socializing with work colleagues.
What do you advise? I'm thinking I attend the first couple and then make credible excuses to not attend others.
I don't want my colleagues to totally hate me, how many dinners minimum should I attend to avoid being totally isolated and in risk of losing my job? |
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RACETRAITOR
Joined: 24 Oct 2005 Location: Seoul, South Korea
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Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 12:12 am Post subject: |
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| It's an important thing in Korea. I advise don't skip more than 50% of them. And the more you skip, the more they'll want out of you when you do show up, such as dragging you to noraebangs, making you stay out late, etc. |
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Bibbitybop

Joined: 22 Feb 2006 Location: Seoul
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Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 12:13 am Post subject: |
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| Lighten up and learn to enjoy the people you work with, give them a chance. If not, grin and bear it on the few occasions you may be asked to go out. |
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shifdog
Joined: 20 Jul 2006
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Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 12:31 am Post subject: |
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| Make an effort to attend all of them unless you have made previous plans or are unable to attend for other reasons? How often does the school have these events? |
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fromtheuk
Joined: 31 Mar 2007
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Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 12:41 am Post subject: |
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I dunno how often it is, but for a professional introvert, the blog mentioned it too many times for my liking
But seriously, I think part of it will be good for me. If it keeps me on good terms with the boss, it's worth it. It will also show I'm making an effort.
I don't drink alcohol, so I will sip on an orange juice or something. I also wouldn't eat live creatures.
But if I attend these things, at least it shows I'm making an effort. |
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The Hierophant

Joined: 13 Sep 2005
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Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 12:54 am Post subject: |
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If you want a top-notch work environment then I'd recommend going to as many of these social events as possible.
Like you, I'm quite introverted, and don't particularly enjoy socializing on weeknights. The previous teacher at my hagwon was very extroverted however, and loved going out with the boss several nights a week. So, the boss has been very disappointed in me, and it has had a noticeable affect on our work relationship.
I was 'trained' for a week before I started my contract, so I was able to see how the previous teacher and the boss interacted. The boss said, 'Markus (former teacher) is not my employee, he is my brother.' They got along really well.... as for me, well, I don't think my boss would consider me his adopted cousin thrice removed
The Korean workplace is all about relationships. Being friendly and sociable (even when you don't feel like it) will go a LONG way for you. |
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RACETRAITOR
Joined: 24 Oct 2005 Location: Seoul, South Korea
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Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 1:01 am Post subject: |
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| It would be tough being in this country and not drinking. Not vegetarian-tough, but it would close a lot of doors for you. |
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Juregen
Joined: 30 May 2006
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Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 1:26 am Post subject: |
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If you have to sit on the floor, constantly act that you are in pain, and that you need to stretch those legs to get the blood running.
It won't be long till they excuse you  |
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fromtheuk
Joined: 31 Mar 2007
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Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 1:30 am Post subject: |
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You clearly have a terrific mind Juregen. I passed Drama at school, so I'll start to practice now!
I suppose it's good they want to welcome you though, that is positive. |
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merkurix
Joined: 21 Dec 2006 Location: Not far from the deep end.
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Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 1:31 am Post subject: |
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| As far as I know, if you really like your place of employment and want to improve your chances for a renewal of your contract, there is a lot of good advice posted on here. But if one wishes to have upward mobility in their teaching career here in one solitary place (i.e., pay, raise, promoted to "captain," etc.) there isn't a whole lot that I have observed. I could be wrong, but as far as pay raise incentives go, there is not a whole lot for folks who plan on staying here a long time. |
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shifdog
Joined: 20 Jul 2006
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Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 1:48 am Post subject: |
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| The Hierophant wrote: |
Like you, I'm quite introverted, and don't particularly enjoy socializing on weeknights. The previous teacher at my hagwon was very extroverted however, and loved going out with the boss several nights a week. So, the boss has been very disappointed in me, and it has had a noticeable affect on our work relationship.
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Good point.
If there are other foreign teachers at your school, you will be compared to them. So it's even more important to attend. |
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princess
Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: soul of Asia
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Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 2:13 am Post subject: |
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My former boss almost threw a fit because I didn't show up for one dinner. I told other teachers I was not going, but I didn't tell her. On Monday, she told me not to do that again, because she didn't know what to tell the owners when I didn't show up for this dinner. I missed about 3 dinners in 2 years there. But, she took a fit over one of those missed dinners. What bothered me most was not the actual dinners, but how they would announce " We are having a dinner tomorrow night". The last minute notices are what bugged me. If I already have good plans, sorry, but I am not dropping them to go eat with people I see more than the people I actually WANT to see anyways. If 5 days a week of my face is not enough, then oh well. |
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Junior

Joined: 18 Nov 2005 Location: the eye
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Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 2:25 am Post subject: |
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I've been to about 4 dinners and 3 staff meetings in the past year, all at the beginning.
After a brief show of solidarity it was a simple case of claiming not to understand the announcements over the tannoy and letting Korean lack of communication do the rest. |
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mrsquirrel
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
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Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 2:55 am Post subject: |
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| I don't drink alcohol, so I will sip on an orange juice or something. I also wouldn't eat live creatures. |
It is. Makes the male teachers very uncomfortable that I won't drink with them. I drank one shot of sujo to shut up one of the male teachers and after I did it he got a bollocking from the female staff for pestering me so much. |
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Hater Depot
Joined: 29 Mar 2005
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Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 3:05 am Post subject: |
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| RACETRAITOR wrote: |
| It would be tough being in this country and not drinking. Not vegetarian-tough, but it would close a lot of doors for you. |
That's funny, I would think not drinking would be much tougher. Maybe I'll try switching. |
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