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uberscheisse
Joined: 02 Dec 2003
Location: japan is better than korea.
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 Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 3:04 am Post subject: |
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| Milwaukiedave wrote: |
Uber,
Honestly give whatever you think is appropriate. Given what you have explained about the situation, I wouldn't give them squat.
I got married last year and I was kind of uncomfortable about people giving money and it being recorded in a book. If people aren't understanding and want to be gripe about what you give them, then they don't deserve anything. I hope you stand your ground. |
yeah, like i said, i dodged a bullet by not being invited. something about my atheism maybe. it may have been my slayer shirt. whatever it was, it fuckin worked like a charm.
seriously, the piece of shit should be dying in iraq right now. |
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Milwaukiedave
Joined: 02 Oct 2004
Location: Goseong
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| Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 3:09 am Post subject: |
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| I've never been a Slayer fan, but if it worked out then it's all good. |
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gdimension
Joined: 05 Jul 2005
Location: Jeju
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| Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 4:15 am Post subject: |
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| Milwaukiedave wrote: |
...I got married last year and I was kind of uncomfortable about people giving money and it being recorded in a book... |
This is a good point (about the book) that I didn't really understand the significance of when I got married. Now, whenever there is a death, wedding, or birthday in anyone's family, we just consult the book and are sure to give back at least the amount that was given to us.
All of this money that's being passed around at these big events isn't really being kept by the receivers. It's being "held" until the "givers" need it again. That way, people have enough money when they need it. It seems to be a pretty good system, actually, at least from my experience. Though, when dealing with foreigners who are in the country only temporarily, it doesn't work out quite as well.
Asking for double the amount, though? Kick her in the face. |
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Milwaukiedave
Joined: 02 Oct 2004
Location: Goseong
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| Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 6:16 am Post subject: |
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| gdimension wrote: |
| Milwaukiedave wrote: |
...I got married last year and I was kind of uncomfortable about people giving money and it being recorded in a book... |
This is a good point (about the book) that I didn't really understand the significance of when I got married. Now, whenever there is a death, wedding, or birthday in anyone's family, we just consult the book and are sure to give back at least the amount that was given to us.
All of this money that's being passed around at these big events isn't really being kept by the receivers. It's being "held" until the "givers" need it again. That way, people have enough money when they need it. It seems to be a pretty good system, actually, at least from my experience. Though, when dealing with foreigners who are in the country only temporarily, it doesn't work out quite as well.
Asking for double the amount, though? Kick her in the face. |
Yeah I see your point. I agree they are being pretty rude and greedy. |
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princess
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia
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| Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 6:40 am Post subject: |
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I think this is also tacky: I have heard of people in the west asking that money for the honeymoon be given in lieu of gifts.  Also, there are sooooo many ways some couples are extra greedy by having so many showers. I have heard of household item showers, lingerie showers, a lawn/garden shower for the man, and a baby shower for every baby the couple has. That deserves a double roll. |
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mindmetoo
Joined: 02 Feb 2004
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| Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 6:55 am Post subject: |
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| I'm at a loss for words... |
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blaseblasphemener
Joined: 01 Jun 2006
Location: There's a voice, keeps on calling me, down the road, that's where I'll always be
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| Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 7:22 am Post subject: |
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I got married in a wedding hall last year. I was actually worried as I had been to many crappy wedding hall extravaganzas in the past. However, my wife organized it really well, and the people were very well behaved, and we did not have a wedding after ours. The buffet sucked, though.
Personally, I think the money thing is the culture, just like registering for gifts is the culture in the West. It is incredibly tacky to tell someone that their gift is not enough though. I bet the people getting married are cheap buggers too. Cheap people are in one of the circles of hell. |
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Wrench
Joined: 07 Apr 2005
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| Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 5:04 pm Post subject: |
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| Giving Odd numbers is good 30k is the usual. Never give Even numbers for gifts so 30-50-70-90 type thing. |
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Milwaukiedave
Joined: 02 Oct 2004
Location: Goseong
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| Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 6:57 pm Post subject: |
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| Is that a good luck/bad luck sort of thing? |
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Hollywoodaction
Joined: 02 Jul 2004
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| Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 8:32 pm Post subject: |
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| uberscheisse wrote: |
i might add this -
soon after she started working at our school, a few of us were on the topic of religion. my friend said "well, i'm a good person, and i don't lie, i do good things, i'm pretty sure that even though i'm agnostic, i'm going to a heaven of some sort."
she replied "uh... no you're not."
"where am i going?"
"well, if you don't believe in god, you're going to hell."
it kinda showed us her true colors really early-like. the fact that someone could tell another person in an amicable discussion that they're going to burn in hell points towards a black soul, if one even existed. |
How did you resist the urge of telling her, "Y'all look pretty stupid when you realize that it's just a big nothingness after death"? |
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Chillin' Villain
Joined: 13 Mar 2003
Location: Goo Row
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| Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 9:25 pm Post subject: |
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For this wedding, I think a bread maker would be the perfect gift.
Preferably a re-gifted one. |
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princess
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia
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| Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 8:18 pm Post subject: |
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| Chillin' Villain wrote: |
| For this wedding, I think a bread maker would be the perfect gift. Preferably a re-gifted one. |
I think that is what I will do with all the nasty instant coffee I received for Lunar New year. I can regift that mess for Chuseok. It's better than letting it go to waste, I guess. |
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Hollywoodaction
Joined: 02 Jul 2004
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| Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 9:20 pm Post subject: Re: a marrying coworker demands double monetary gift. ?!? |
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| uberscheisse wrote: |
this annoying turbochristian kyopo prat i used to work with just got married to one of the staff members at my school. i never really paid her any mind, and never tried to build any alliance with her. i was also never really close to the husband, though he's a good guy. so i was relieved to see that i was not invited to her wedding. 30,000 won saved.
other co-workers went to the wedding. they had planned to do what they thought they were expected to do, by preparing a 30,000 won envelope.
on the invitations was written "since we will be leaving for our honeymoon directly after the wedding, could we please get our wedding gifts in advance?" which i thought practical yet in poor taste.
so some people handed over envelopes at work the day before the wedding. one guy was told "well you know, it's supposed to be 50,000, not 30, and since it's the wedding of two co-workers, you're expected to double the wedding gift, since you're attending the wedding for both sides."
now - korean weddings annoy me to begin with. some things about korean culture annoy me and i can take them in stride. one or two things about the culture repulse me, and wedding industry/wedding culture is one of them. so i'm glad this was a bullet that i dodged.
but has anyone heard of two people at the same office getting married, therefore demanding 2x the money? it seems not only materialistic as hell but incredibly rude. i can't imagine it being a cultural rule, except in the mind of this particular psychopath. |
You should have given her 40 000 won (a no-no for superstitious Koreans), explaining that you were planning on giving away 20 000won. |
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yingwenlaoshi
Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Location: ... location, location!
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| Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 9:58 pm Post subject: |
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| Have your students make fake money with all the right colors. Make it a thick stack of notes. Put it in a card in a sealed enveloppe and hand it to her, "Congratulations!" |
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Hollywoodaction
Joined: 02 Jul 2004
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| Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2007 8:13 pm Post subject: |
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| yingwenlaoshi wrote: |
| Have your students make fake money with all the right colors. Make it a thick stack of notes. Put it in a card in a sealed enveloppe and hand it to her, "Congratulations!" |
Yeah, it's the thought that counts.  |
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