| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
mindmetoo
Joined: 02 Feb 2004
|
 Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2007 10:33 pm Post subject: |
 |
|
Good:
1) Every moment with them is precious.
2) Without them there, you spend a lot of time in "them" directed behavior. You find cute things to mail them. Spend a lot of time on the subway or driving thinking about them.
3) Ah the anticipation before seeing the person.
4) Extends the romance.
Bad:
1) Expensive.
2) You are no longer dating. It's brief periods of living together. |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
lowpo
Joined: 01 Mar 2007
|
| Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2007 10:45 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| RACETRAITOR wrote: |
| lastat06513 wrote: |
Case in point....Travellus Maximus (whatever he calls himself), he left the US for Korea and then the seperation was too much for him to bear, so he pulled a runner.....and now he haunts the hallow halls of Dave's, being annoying most of the time.
|
Not anymore. |
It can be done and it is very hard. It is something that you really have to work at to make it work.
When I left China in the fall of 2005, my wife stayed to finish her contract with the company she is working for in China. She will finally move to KOrea in the fall of 2007.
1. We spend about 4 hours a day talking on the computer. From 8pm to midnight everynight.
2. Once or twice a week we will each download a movie. I will watch it on my computer and he on her computer.
3. She will travel to KOrea every 3 months to stay for 2 to 4 weeks.
4. We both trust each other. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Carmy
Joined: 12 Apr 2007
Location: Seoul
|
| Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2007 10:55 pm Post subject: Re: Long distance relationships |
|
|
| MollyBloom wrote: |
| What is the easiest way? If two committed people who just need to take individual steps to complete their goals have to part for a year or so, what can make it work? Success stories, please. Let's keep this optimistic! |
IMHO if it is meant to be it will be. There are obviously steps that can be taken to keep the romance alive. Like regular communication with phonecalls, letters, e-mail etc however none of these things actually guarantee that the relationship will work out.
I was in a long distance relationship whilst in Korea. At that point we had already been together for 5 years. We constantly communicated even though there was a 7 hour time difference, he even came over to visit for 3 weeks!! (To this day, I still don't understand why he spent so much money coming over) But by the time I came home 7 months later, so much had changed between the two of us that we headed in totally different life paths. So ultimately it didn't work out.
However, you did ask for a positive story....
Well a friend of mine, who had been with her bf for 4 years also began teaching English same time as I did, also regularly contacted/communicated with each other, he too came over for a period of 3 weeks to visit her. So a very similar story to mine, but theirs ended very happily. They got married last year (I was bridesmaid  ) and are expecting their first child in September.
So there you have it. My point is that I don't really think that there is anything over and above what one would normally do in a long distance relationship to keep it from failing. It will either survive or it won't. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
The Bobster
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
|
| Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 12:10 am Post subject: Re: Long distance relationships |
|
|
| manlyboy wrote: |
For it to work, you need to be more committed to each other than you are to your goals.
Are you? |
Um, some would say that so much commitment to each other would mean that one or both would decide not to travel ...
I've seen it work, occasionally, though it never has for me. When it does work it really and really works. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger ... |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
RACETRAITOR
Joined: 24 Oct 2005
Location: Seoul, South Korea
|
| Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 12:40 am Post subject: |
|
|
| lowpo wrote: |
| RACETRAITOR wrote: |
| lastat06513 wrote: |
Case in point....Travellus Maximus (whatever he calls himself), he left the US for Korea and then the seperation was too much for him to bear, so he pulled a runner.....and now he haunts the hallow halls of Dave's, being annoying most of the time.
|
Not anymore. |
It can be done and it is very hard. It is something that you really have to work at to make it work.
When I left China in the fall of 2005, my wife stayed to finish her contract with the company she is working for in China. She will finally move to KOrea in the fall of 2007.
1. We spend about 4 hours a day talking on the computer. From 8pm to midnight everynight.
2. Once or twice a week we will each download a movie. I will watch it on my computer and he on her computer.
3. She will travel to KOrea every 3 months to stay for 2 to 4 weeks.
4. We both trust each other. |
Actually, I just mean because Travelous Maximus got his ass banned. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Scott in Incheon
Joined: 30 Aug 2004
|
| Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 12:47 am Post subject: |
|
|
Succes story here...
Met my wife in Canada summer of 1998. She went back to Korea and I moved in Hong Kong. Long distance for a year...now married for eight with two kids.
Succeeded due to telephone, internet, and the fact that we could travel to see each other a few times. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
kimchi story
Joined: 23 Nov 2006
|
| Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 1:00 am Post subject: |
|
|
| RACETRAITOR wrote: |
Actually, I just mean because Travelous Maximus got his ass banned. |
And thank GAWD for that...and RT I still get a chuckle when I picture you knocked down, surrounded by your teeth.
Molly if you need encouragement turn on AFN. LDRs aren't actually that uncommon. We don't have the faculty to remember pain, and that's a saving grace. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
princess
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia
|
| Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 1:20 am Post subject: |
|
|
| lowpo wrote: |
| RACETRAITOR wrote: |
| lastat06513 wrote: |
Case in point....Travellus Maximus (whatever he calls himself), he left the US for Korea and then the seperation was too much for him to bear, so he pulled a runner.....and now he haunts the hallow halls of Dave's, being annoying most of the time.
|
Not anymore. |
It can be done and it is very hard. It is something that you really have to work at to make it work.
When I left China in the fall of 2005, my wife stayed to finish her contract with the company she is working for in China. She will finally move to KOrea in the fall of 2007.
1. We spend about 4 hours a day talking on the computer. From 8pm to midnight everynight.
2. Once or twice a week we will each download a movie. I will watch it on my computer and he on her computer.
3. She will travel to KOrea every 3 months to stay for 2 to 4 weeks.
4. We both trust each other. |
Not to sound mean or anything, but what kind of a marriage is this????? It's just like the man who wrote that book "He's Just Not That Into You" said, "I married my wife because I wanted to see her everyday". I think too many people get married without having their prioroities in order. It's like my Mom and Dad have always said...You need to get your stuff done BEFORE you say I do. I just think a married couple living like this for 2 years is downright ridiculous and foolish. Trust is not the only issue. Why get married if you are still going to be alone?????? Some girlfriends/boyfriends see each other more than this. You are talking about marriage here, not dating. I guess you married someone who puts work before her husband. I feel sorry for you.  |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
princess
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia
|
| Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 1:25 am Post subject: |
|
|
Hey people, dating in a situation like this is bad enough, but come on, long-distance marriages??? Sounds like some people should stay single longer, wait until you get all of your studying or whatever it is out oif your system, and THEN get married and be a real couple. Long distance marriages are a sham if you ask me.  |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Yo!Chingo
Joined: 06 Dec 2005
Location: Seoul Korea
|
| Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 1:46 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Princess you really believe that for a marriage to last and be a "real" marriage 2 people can't live apart?!? I've known more than a few good couples who live in seperate cities b/c of work considerations and are perfectly happy. They're generally the independent sort who know how lucky they are to have found the right partner in life. They also recognize that communication and trust are the keys to a great relationship, not proximity. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
jeffkim1972
Joined: 10 Jan 2007
Location: Mokpo
|
| Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 2:35 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Yo!Chingo wrote: |
| Princess you really believe that for a marriage to last and be a "real" marriage 2 people can't live apart?!? I've known more than a few good couples who live in seperate cities b/c of work considerations and are perfectly happy. They're generally the independent sort who know how lucky they are to have found the right partner in life. They also recognize that communication and trust are the keys to a great relationship, not proximity. |
I believe that is what she said. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
kimchi story
Joined: 23 Nov 2006
|
| Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 2:39 am Post subject: |
|
|
| princess wrote: |
| Long distance marriages are a sham if you ask me. |
Care to elaborate?
'I still live with mom and dad' about sums it up.
| Yo!Chingo wrote: |
| They also recognize that communication and trust are the keys to a great relationship, not proximity. |
Exaaaactly.
| jeffkim1972 wrote: |
| I believe that is what she said. |
See the quote I've provided above? That is what she said. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
princess
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia
|
| Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 4:33 am Post subject: |
|
|
| jeffkim1972 wrote: |
| Yo!Chingo wrote: |
| Princess you really believe that for a marriage to last and be a "real" marriage 2 people can't live apart?!? I've known more than a few good couples who live in seperate cities b/c of work considerations and are perfectly happy. They're generally the independent sort who know how lucky they are to have found the right partner in life. They also recognize that communication and trust are the keys to a great relationship, not proximity. |
I believe that is what she said. |
Thank you. Yes, I did say trust is important. You are so sweet.  Probably cute, too. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
princess
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia
|
| Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 4:35 am Post subject: |
|
|
| kimchi story wrote: |
| princess wrote: |
| Long distance marriages are a sham if you ask me. |
Care to elaborate?
'I still live with mom and dad' about sums it up.
| Yo!Chingo wrote: |
| They also recognize that communication and trust are the keys to a great relationship, not proximity. |
Exaaaactly.
| jeffkim1972 wrote: |
| I believe that is what she said. |
See the quote I've provided above? That is what she said. |
How can I be living with Mom and Dad, when I am on the other side of the world, opposite them? They are very close with me, that's all. There's nohing wrong with someone living with their parents as an adult. Just go ask some Koreans.  |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
kimchi story
Joined: 23 Nov 2006
|
| Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 4:38 am Post subject: |
|
|
| princess wrote: |
| I just think a married couple living like this for 2 years is downright ridiculous and foolish. Trust is not the only issue. Why get married if you are still going to be alone?????? Some girlfriends/boyfriends see each other more than this. You are talking about marriage here, not dating. I guess you married someone who puts work before her husband. I feel sorry for you. |
Let's not forget what else you said there, sweetie. By your own logic, you must be just hideous on the eyes.
Just go ask Koreans?
BWAHAAAHAA!!
Last edited by kimchi story on Mon Apr 30, 2007 4:40 am; edited 1 time in total |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
