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[Drunken Monkey]

I lived in a few shared houses in the UK and had a couple of interesting experiences.

The first place I lived in there were 6 of us in total, generally we all got on but I do remember a discussion we all had one evening.

Every month we would all chip in 5 pounds so that we could purchase cleaning products, toilet rolls etc. This 1 guy Mark argued that he should only pay 4 pounds as he only ever went to the toilet at work!! WTF??

After that house I moved into another place. This time it was myself and 3 others. I moved into the house the same week as 2 of the other guys but Kevin had lived in the house for 5 years. He was 34 and the rest of us in our mid-twenties. Things started well enough but after a month it all went downhill.

Kev had the biggest bedroom, with an ensuite bathroom, but he would never use this and instead spend hours in the only other bathroom in the house when everyone else was trying to get ready for work in the morning.

None of us had problems with a clean house but Kev was obsessive, if there wasn�t a strong smell of bleach in every room it wasn�t clean enough. Having been there the longest Kev felt he was in charge and could make up and change house rules as he saw fit.

This led to a confrontation between the 2 of us and after that I decide just to stay out of his way entirely. The other 2 guys tried to make more of an effort but very soon it got to the point that if Kev was in the house then the rest of us were in our rooms.

Despite the uncomfortable living situation it was a great house in a nice area, and the rent was cheap! We decided we would put up with things and see if Kev was going to leave as he had been mentioning.

6 months after moving in I was up in my room one evening and heard Kev talking to couple of people in the living room. The next thing I know one of my other house mates is knocking on my door and says I had better go down stairs as the Police wanted to speak to me.

Sure enough in the living room, there was 2 policemen and Kev. They ask me to sit down so that they can have a word. The copper starts to speak to me about how living in a shared house can be difficult and that we should try to get along, I could see the other policeman trying not laugh and I had to stop them and ask why they were in the house�well it turns out the Kev had called the police as he felt uncomfortable with me in the house!!

The police left and Kev burst out into tears and ran off to his room.

After a few minutes of WTF just happened the 3 of us decided that we should try again to make an effort with Kev.
That weekend we all went to the pub together and had a few excruciatingly painful hours together drinking beers. Fair play to Kev he made an effort, he said that his birthday was coming up and on the Friday night we should buy some coke and all have some and go out clubbing, and in the same breath suggested we all go to bingo on Saturday night!! Please consider none of us had ever tried drugs, or gone to bingo for that matter so god only knows why he thought these would be good bonding exercises!!

It took another week, before we decided we had had enough. The 3 of us found a house to rent and handed in our notice with the landlord. This was when we found out that prior to us there had been 21 other tenants in the house during Kevs 5 year stay, all of whom apparently had similar stories to tell. We left a month later and the landlord told Kev he had 1 more month and then he would need to leave also.

Im not sure what Kev is upto nowadays but I wil never forget my conversation with the Police that evening, it only just beats the rat through the letterbox incident�.even the neighbours didn�t like this guy!!