Korean Job Discussion Forums

[princess]

When you go out alone in Korea, do you sometimes feel awkward and self-conscious about sitting in a restaurant/bar alone, like everyone thinks you are a leper or have zero friends? Especially when the people who work there ask you if you have friends, and when you say yes, they go on to say how they always see you in there alone. I sometimes go to the prrodge shop near my house after work, called Bon Juk, and after eating alone there many, many times, the lady there finally asked me if I have friends because I always eat there alone. Like I am really going to call someone who lives in another area of Seoul to come eat with me after work. Do most Koreans always have someone they can call up to go do EVERYTHING with? I don't think so. I'd be willing to bet money many of them sit at home and starve or rot their weekends away before they dare go out alone. I have friends, they just don't go with me everywhere. I sometimes go alone to my fav bar, but I go to other places with my friends instead of this bar. But, I guess they still think I have zero friends. One gyopo I work with said there is no way she could ever eat alone. She just isn't comfortable doing anything alone in Korea. I bet she starves in her apartment after work some nights or just akes food from somewhere to go. Sad really.

[RACETRAITOR]

I would never go to a restaurant alone in this country. It just doesn't seem like something that's done. I'm not surprised you feel awkward.

My guess is if a Korean doesn't have someone to go out for supper with, they do stay home.

[jcan]

I go out alone because I'm a loner. Whatever.
I occasionally go to a bar near my place cause they have good pub food, and the gyopo waiter sometimes joins me for a few minutes here and there.

[sojourner1]

I go out alone almost all the time, however I do not go out to sit down restaurants like Samgyeopsal alone, but I do go to foriegner bars and western style restaurants alone. I also travel alone on long distance buses and often the Korean sitting next to me grunts and stares at me with discomfort of my presence.

Yes, people stare at me constantly like I am wierd or something. I am wierd in thier eyes for being caucasian and non-Korean speaking. I guess I do not find Koreans all that strange that would warrant for me to stare at them, because I have around Asian people most of my life.

Despite all this staring, grunting, pushing, and aggressiveness, Korea is a very safe place to go out alone, albiet, a bit awkward.

[goodgood]

That's one of the things I don't like about this place. Back home, going to a bar by myself was a fun way to relax, and maybe talk to some strange people. It's not a thing I like because of a lack of friends (though here maybe it is, a little), it's just something I like to do. It sounds kind of cheesy, but there is a kind of freedom in going out by yourself. You don't have to hang out with your friends- you can do exactly what you want. Leave when you want, talk to strangers when you want, whatever.

Here it is weird. I feel awkward when I do it. Nobody goes to bars to sit there and talk to the bartender or talk to whatever random weirdo who is sat next to them. I miss it.

[Young FRANKenstein]

[Summer Wine]

I have to say a few things:

Firstly, I am sorry for those who feel ashamed that they may be seen alone.

There is no reason to feel ashamed. I would be ashamed if I had to ring up a friend every time I wanted to go out.

Secondly, don't let it be a hang up. I am comfortable being on my own and comfortable with others, it doesn't matter which.

Let them think you are crazy, I think they are crazy for needing some one. I am ok with being alone.

I have been here long enough to hear all the statements Koreans can make, but I am me.

ME and I am proud and content with that. Be proud of who you are and don't let others dictate who you should be. We are different, that won't change and we are free to make choices.

To those who can't be alone, well good for you. For those who can, we have nothing to explain to others.

Freedom of individual choice.

[ChuckECheese]

I think the reason why you never see Koreans alone is that they are afraid of being called "WangTha.� It stems from insecurity. I also find Koreans to be one of the most self-conscious people in the world.

Just look at the way they dress. They dress and wear clothes based on season/month of the year, but not based on how cold or hot the weather is.

Just today, the outside temperature was around 25 degrees and I saw majority of people still dressed in long sleeved clothes while I was dressed in T-shirt and shorts.

Koreans are WEIRD.

[jinju]

I dont feel awkward. Here's the reason:

I'm 31. I'm not 16. I'm way beyond caring what others think. Only shallow morons, like PRINCESS, care about such trivial crap.

[Natalie]

[Ginormousaurus]

Just a few minutes ago on my way home I had to walk by numerous galbi joints and had a craving for pork, but sinse I was alone I didn't go in.

I spend most of my free time during the week alone and have no problems with it. Actually, I have recently begun going for a beer in a different bar every night. The only thing I seem to avoid doing alone is sitting down for a meal at a galbi restaraunt.

[wylies99]

Sometimes you just gotta go out alone. You have no choice. At my first hogwan, no one would do anything with me so I ended up going out alone for a couple months. I would imagine that would be tougher for a woman. I didn't like it but what else could I do?

[mrsquirrel]

[stevemcgarrett]

Princess:

Bear this in mind:

Highly collectivist cultures like Korea have a hard time dealing with people who chose to be alone or left alone. It is a very Western concept (even many Eastern and Southern Europeans don't especially take to it).

East Asians will assume you're strange if you're often seen alone. They cannot conceive of the concept of "having one's own space" unless they themselves tend to live on the fringes of their own society.

What we would describe, at worst, as eccentric, they would label unsocial.

I really think this is culturally ingrained, along with being generally xenophobic in an altogether rude way, as mr.squirrel noted above.

Also, most haven't lived abroad or apart from their own kind. They're quite provincial, except in certain parts of Seoul and Incheon.

Anyway, that's my take, and screw 'em if they can't deal with it.

[oneofthesarahs]

I like doing things alone sometimes, especially shopping. I can't stand shopping with other random people in tow. I usually take the bus to Jinju (an hour away) to do the E-mart thing once a month/every other month. Alone. All of my Korean friends always seem shocked and appalled that I would do such a thing and not feel lonely or weird about it. It drives me crazy. One of my friends always insists that I call him next time so he can come along, but he can't seem to get it into his head that I prefer shopping by myself. The idea is totally out of his realm of comprehension.