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venus
Joined: 25 Oct 2006
Location: Near Seoul
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 Posted: Wed May 09, 2007 6:29 pm Post subject: Bash the Brits (especially the English) thread - REDUX |
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Okay, I'm importing this from the current event sforum. Basically, someone started the thread but the qoute below is the best they came up with... I thought it was lame, hence my diatribe below and call for, well, decent insults....
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daskalos wrote:
Those silly superfluous U's in words we Yanks spell like "color, flavor," etc.
Quote:
I hate, hate, hate the pronunciation "shedule."
I'd get past it if I ever heard a Brit pronounce "school" as shool. Both words have a Greek roots -- why the different treatment? I think it's just one of those things you guys do to make yourselves feel more different from Americans than you really are. At some conference a couple hundred years ago, you all got together and decided to come up with stupid ways of saying words that you could then mock us over. You are a linguistically evil people, that much is clear.
(Okay, though, I do appreciate the British pronunciation of "cretin," with the short E, as it helps me keep straight in my head when I'm talking about cretins and Cretans. If you happen to love -- or hate, for that matter -- a Cretan, this becomes important.)
Ummmm. I've only ever spent six hours in the UK, at Heathrow, but by all reports, I hate your weather. And just know this: it would be even worse if we didn't, in a staggering act of generosity, direct the Gulf Stream your way. So watch it. We have only so much patience for your linguistic evilness. Just one too many "shedules" could push us over the edge, and we'll give the Gulf Stream to Norway. |
Most British people I know, myself included pronounce Schedule with the 'k' sound.... wtf?
As for hating the weather, well from news reports over the past few years, I don't think we envy the weather you poor guys have been suffering... give me an overcast day over a raging tornado anytime my friend....
Ha ha, none of us particularly care whether we're thought of as being the same or different than Americans, truly... If anything, it's the other way round isn't it? See, it's not an attack, just that our country is so confused these days, there really isn't much sense of a national identity at all tbh.
Anyway, no offense meant. Hey there's a new one - why are we allways apologising for things...? I even do it when the hawkers in Itaewon try to coax me into buying 'Leather boots, tailor made suit for you...' No, sorry... erm, sorry no....
Anyway, I guess I feel more insulted that this thread is so lame rather by any of (or the lack thereof) the criticisms. It's like damn, why can't anyone be witty and creative when it comes to putting us down but they can when putting Koreans / Yanks / Canadians down...?
It's like - Aren't us Brits special too?
I feel neglected. I'd rather have either your most devoted love or your deepest scorn darling but never, never, your indifference.
Where's the witty, sarcastic, even vitriolic put downs...?
Weak chins, bad weather, annoying spelling (true)...
Come on, bring on the subtle but jarring jabs... the wild haymakers, the solid right crosses and the devastating uppercuts....
Not being able to insult us really, really, harshly makes us feel insecure. You can only hate something you have strong feelings for after all. We hate indifference....
See, one thing about us is despite the reservedness (not seen much in the youth these days) we're a very, very sentimental bunch.
So bring on the love baby, yes talk dirty to us, put us in our place, make us.... your b*tch. |
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cbclark4
Joined: 20 Aug 2006
Location: Masan
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| Posted: Wed May 09, 2007 6:33 pm Post subject: |
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All this politeness crap, we know it's phoney, nobody can be that polite.
Oh yes and Teeth
cbc |
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JMO
Joined: 18 Jul 2006
Location: Daegu
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| Posted: Wed May 09, 2007 6:38 pm Post subject: |
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| Seems he could be being ironic. You know accusing Brits of changing the language when it was americans who changed it. |
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Axl Rose
Joined: 16 Feb 2006
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| Posted: Wed May 09, 2007 6:41 pm Post subject: |
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| cbclark4 wrote: |
All this politeness crap, we know it's phoney, nobody can be that polite.
Oh yes and Teeth
cbc |
i'd rather have crooked teeth than weigh 400 pounds.
(crap thread, wrong forum - thinking and reading ability not encouraged in GB these days??) |
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venus
Joined: 25 Oct 2006
Location: Near Seoul
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| Posted: Wed May 09, 2007 6:42 pm Post subject: |
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Good, good. Cliched, but it's a start.
The teeth thing is more a remenant of the past though, we're used to paying for it (and dentistry  ) now...
In answer to the politeness, it makes us feel like humans rather than louts. It's to do with self respect. Though I'm sure from socialising with the 20-30 crowd you'd have realsied this sadly is a vanishing trait now too....
Good start though. I'm not being defensive, just trying to get the lame cliches out the way and encourage an onslaught of creative derision.
Bring it on!
More! |
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venus
Joined: 25 Oct 2006
Location: Near Seoul
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| Posted: Wed May 09, 2007 6:44 pm Post subject: |
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| Axl Rose wrote: |
| cbclark4 wrote: |
All this politeness crap, we know it's phoney, nobody can be that polite.
Oh yes and Teeth
cbc |
i'd rather have crooked teeth than weigh 400 pounds.
(crap thread, wrong forum - thinking and reading ability not encouraged in GB these days??) |
That's good Axl. Get more attention in this thread. Ooh, see how you're bringing the defensive, snivelling twerp out in me....? You're good man... that's good... And yes proficiency in the three r's are at rack bottom standards in the Uk now... |
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caniff
Joined: 03 Feb 2004
Location: All over the map
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| Posted: Wed May 09, 2007 6:47 pm Post subject: |
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When I was living in London, I was assaulted by a drunk woman in a pub who loudly demanded that I kiss her. She had black teeth. Literally B-to the-L-to the-ACK!!.
But she was Irish, so I guess I have no point. Carry on. |
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venus
Joined: 25 Oct 2006
Location: Near Seoul
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| Posted: Wed May 09, 2007 6:49 pm Post subject: |
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| caniff wrote: |
When I was living in London, I was assaulted by a drunk woman in a pub who loudly demanded that I kiss her. She had black teeth. Literally BLACK!!.
But she was Irish, so I guess I have no point. Carry on. |
Your Mum was drunk and wanted you to kiss her outside a pub???
That's sick. Your familly must be Irish. There's a lot of you in Boston... ha ha
But yeah, that's off topic too, sorry. |
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mrsquirrel
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
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| Posted: Wed May 09, 2007 6:51 pm Post subject: |
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Why do Americans pronounce leisure leeesure?
Why would they do that?
Sod the spelling, the weather and the politeness. It doesn't matter when you look at the atrocities that the largest nation of terrorists have caused.
How can any respect be shown to a country which has a shitty public health care system which barely supports itself and forces people to take on private health insurance just to make sure they are going to be taken care of when sick.
Yet they can budget millions of dollars for the anti-communist campaign that they will start once Castro dies.
Priorities are all wrong.
Plus the fact that all they do is consume cheeseburgers and jumbo 20 gallon cokes whilst eating donuts by the handful just revolts me. |
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caniff
Joined: 03 Feb 2004
Location: All over the map
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| Posted: Wed May 09, 2007 6:52 pm Post subject: |
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| venus wrote: |
| caniff wrote: |
When I was living in London, I was assaulted by a drunk woman in a pub who loudly demanded that I kiss her. She had black teeth. Literally BLACK!!.
But she was Irish, so I guess I have no point. Carry on. |
Your Mum was drunk and wanted you to kiss her outside a pub???
That's sick. Your familly must be Irish. There's a lot of you in Boston... ha ha
But yeah, that's off topic too, sorry. |
I know!! I was like "Mom, you can't do that in here!! We're not in Boston anymore, ferchrissakes!!" |
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venus
Joined: 25 Oct 2006
Location: Near Seoul
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| Posted: Wed May 09, 2007 6:53 pm Post subject: |
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| mrsquirrel wrote: |
Why do Americans pronounce leisure leeesure?
Why would they do that?
Sod the spelling, the weather and the politeness. It doesn't matter when you look at the atrocities that the largest nation of terrorists have caused.
How can any respect be shown to a country which has a *beep* public health care system which barely supports itself and forces people to take on private health insurance just to make sure they are going to be taken care of when sick.
Yet they can budget millions of dollars for the anti-communist campaign that they will start once Castro dies.
Priorities are all wrong.
Plus the fact that all they do is consume cheeseburgers an | | | |
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