Korean Job Discussion Forums

[silvertoes]

I think that Korea can be a very different experience for people on different ends of the introvert/extrovert spectrum. I'm a definite introvert (although, being fairly open and friendly, and able to hide my shyness and loner-tendencies well, I'm often mistaken for an extrovert, which can create tensions and misunderstandings).

Here are some of the main problems I believe Korea can present for introverts in particular, though this is not to say that extroverts won't also be bothered by them. I would argue that some difficulties here are experienced by all types, but may cut introverts more deeply / stress them more:

1. The invasion of privacy. By this I mean both being asked very personal questions, and actual physical invasions. The person (I don't know who - probably a case of mistaken identity) who was pounding on my door/bashing on my doorbell/yanking on the door handle the other day would have gotten to any foreigner, I think (especially females living alone: since when does anyone answer the door to someone who sounds that angry?), but introverts find special sanctuary in a single apartment, and the Korean habit of trying to open the door even though it hasn't been answered feels frighteningly and infuriatingly invasive.

2. The pointing/staring/comments on physical appearance, either by students, co-workers or strangers in the street seem to bother the extroverts I know less than the introverts, to whom it's so hurtful that we can regress to 13 year olds (emotionally) in the blink of an eye.

3. Lack of respect for personal work space. Introverts like me seem more bothered by people touching/moving/dumping stuff on their desks.

4. Lack of understanding by extrovert fellow foreigners who, like extroverts back home, often don't understand the need for space and solitude introverts might have, and back away from those who don't necessarily want to go out drinking every time they're asked. Introverts don't understand extroverts any better, I'd say, but by our nature we tend not to push bar-based socialising.

I'm not trying to start an intro-extro battle, or suggest one is superior to the other, I really don't think that; I'm just fascinated by the very different ways in which different types can see and experience the world while travelling. Korea has helped me to accept my introversion and not feel somehow ashamed of it; and understanding how the introvert 'filter' affects me has helped me enormously in learning to live with things here that might otherwise drive me round the bend. You?

[samd]

What a lot of nonsense.

Korea is the same as anywhere else in this regard.

If you want to stay home and have no mates you can.

If you want to go out and make new mates you can.

If anything, it might be harder for extroverts here, who have the language barrier preventing them from communicating more with the locals.

Then again what do I know - I voted for "psychology is a load of sh1te".

[corroonb]

I kinda agree with the above poster but disagree with his assessment of those known as "introverts". It is the same for me anywhere. I like being alone but others often find this behaviour threatening for some reason both here and at home. Korea is very socially orientated, eating, travelling etc. is always done with other people so in that way it can be difficult.

BTW I disagree about these stereotypes. I am introverted in the semantic sense of that word. I am not shy or at all concerned about what anybody else thinks of me. Certain traits tend to cluster around others but lets not lump them together for simplicity.

[pest2]

[samd]

[silvertoes]

Introversion is by no means simply about having time alone from time to time - and many introverts don't need much alone time to stay energised - it's far more complex than being a stay-at-home recluse. Similarly, it's by no means the case that introvert=necessarily friendless. That's a generalising stereotype, right there.

I know a few introverted Koreans and they've developed all kinds of strategies to balance being as outgoing and outward-focussed as others demand them to be in an extroverted society versus having some personal space - physical, mental, emotional - and not living with their nerves on edge all the time. What do you think it's like to live in Korea, as a Korean, when you're not comfortable sharing food (and not out of selfishness)? When you live at home at 26? Tricky, interesting stuff.

In my OP, I was not painting stereotypes. I think I made it clear that I think there's a scale, and people fall in different places on that scale. It's just that it's impractical to make a poll with 333 different options. Find me a poll that doesn't generalise to some extent out of practical necessity.

[corroonb]

My problem isn't with your stereotypes as such but with this whole concept of singular personality types. Introversion is a personality trait much like shyness, confidence or arrogance.

I dislike when such a trait is automatically associated with social awkwardness (shyness) or reclusive behaviour (loner tendancies) when all it should refer to is a style of thinking which differs from extraversion. Using a term like "loner" which is highly stereotypical and perjorative also indicates such dualistic thinking, ie people are either extraverted or introverted, loner or socialiser. This is far simpler than the truth of the matter. Shyness is a separate trait which can exist in extraverts or introverts. People who are not comfortable with their own personality are going to be uncomfortable in any culture or society.

This is not intended as an attack on your opinions. You are entitled to them whatever they are. I just have a problem with conventional stereotyping of people into broad and fairly useless categories.

In answer to the original post. I think it is considerably easier for myself in Korea than at home, as I have little connection with the locals and have no real involvement with them socially. They appear to have no expectations of me either. For Koreans I can imagine it being a good deal more diffiult or for someone more involved with Koreans than I am.

[PimpofKorea]

I should make a thread... "Korea for Ass-Sniffers." I wonder how it would fare......

[silvertoes]

I would argue that introversion and extroversion, and relative degrees of either, are far more systematic, complex and determinative in human reactions to daily life, and to change, than singular personality traits such as shyness or confidence.

[tomato]

There is very little in my own country that I miss,
because I never kept up on Western media and Western sports anyway.

I had relatively little trouble adjusting to a foreign culture.
What difference does it make whether I'm in a foreign culture where I can't fit in or whether I'm in my own culture where I can't fit in?

[Barking Mad Lord Snapcase]

Two points:

1: I suspect that introverts are *more* suited to travelling and other outdoor activities than extroverts, especially in Korea. Introverts can step out of the door and go wherever they want. Extroverts have to wait around for their friends if they want to go to a movie, a restaurant, or even go shopping, to say nothing of going on an out-of-town vacation. I would imagine that Korean extroverts live in constant fear of losing face as well.

2: The idea of going out by yourself seems to be so far removed from the standard Korean imagination that, apparently, few would even suspect you of doing it. This is one of the ironic advantages of living in Korea - your very alien-ness allows you to slip through the cracks.

The West places strong emphasis on discovering people and places for yourself. Korea places strong emphasis on having everything and everyone introduced to you via social rites to allow you to register their existence.

Who landed on the Moon again?

[pest2]

[ella]

Jungian personality theory! One of my favorite topics.

I suspect it's easier for a foreigner to be an introvert here than it is for a Korean. Extroverts are generally a pain in the hinder for introverts no matter where we are. That's true of most of the prevalent personality types, though - they just assume everyone is exactly like them. So much for "tolerating diversity," eh?

Jonathan Rauch wrote a great column for The Atlantic a few years ago called Caring For Your Introvert. Another good read is the book The Introvert Advantage, by Marti Olsen Laney. It explains the physiological differences between introverts and extroverts - fascinating stuff.

Few people have any real understanding of what introversion and extroversion are. It isn't about shyness or liking/disliking other people. I'm a moderately preferred introvert and I doubt you could find anyone who'd call me shy.

[SuperFly]

I work for a large Korean company. The other day, I was told by the VP of my R&D center that electrical engineers are introverts and mechanical engineers are extroverts. He didn't explain why this is so. I suspect that it's true, because I asked one of the group leaders and he confirmed it. Interesting...

[silvertoes]

Good article, Ella, thanks. (A little hard on some extroverts, I thought, but useful).

I've roamed introvert messageboards a bit (as you'd expect, they have a low level of postings and precious little chitchatty filler), and noticed a great deal of agreement that cell phones are the spawn of the devil.

It's very difficult to sustain anything like a decent social life in Korea without one, but I confess to secretly feeling delighted when my phone went bing-bing recently. Still, even when I point out to people that I'm leaving Korea in just a few months, so it's pointless (financially) to get a new one - a perfectly reasonable argument for not having one, I'd say, and I do have two other phone numbers, work and home - they still look at me like I have 3 heads.

Another heads up for introverts thinking of living in Korea - you may have to succumb to the cell.