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Korean Job Discussion Forums "The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!"
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Mix1
Joined: 08 May 2007
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Posted: Thu May 24, 2007 5:56 am Post subject: RACE/RACISM and relations in Korea etc. |
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"Hasn't this topic been done to death?" I don't know. "Can't we just all get along?" I used to think that, but sometimes I'm not so sure.
Case in point...Korea.
I'm talking about race but specifically about "foreigners" or "wegukin" dating Koreans casually, versus possibly marrying them and maybe even breeding and having "mixed" offspring with them.
It seems like its easy for non-Koreans to go on a few dates with a Korean, but if/when the relation gets serious and there is any talk of marriage, it seems a whole other ballgame. I've had many Koreans tell me it's fine to date a foreigner, and many Koreans even want to try it. But... when it comes to marrying and having children... they generally seem only to want other Koreans in the picture. Is this notion NOT simply racism at its core? I've even heard some call "mixed" race individuals and foreigners "ugly" and "impure". I'm not talking about my own situation, but other anecdotal situations and conversations involving others.
I mean, I agree that certain types and levels of racism exist in most if not all cultures, but come on... does that excuse this sort of thinking? I mean in the U.S.A. (I can't really speak for other countries) it seems like mixed race couples and families are no big deal anymore. Yes, you'll get the occasional redneck types or others that shun the concept, but according to our laws and at the very least many laws of political correctness, it's basically OK publicly amongst the general population.
One reason I ask is that I'm in a relationship now with a Korean girl and things look like they could get a bit serious, so just wanting a little outside perspective. And yes, I'm a white guy in Korea "suddenly" on the "other" side of racial bias, and yes, having some issues dealing with concepts like this.
I was raised to believe everyone is equal but not everyone feels that way of course (no, I'm not perfect either). And yet, to me it seems even worse now that I'm in the land of scared, xenophobic, homogenous robots (and I mean that in the best possible way... in relation to Korean attitudes, not them as a people.) Is there really any excuse for being this small minded? It's 2007 isn't it? This sort of attitude would be almost inexcusable in most parts of the USA, and probably in many other countries, but here in Korea these attitudes seem to get a free pass. What's the deal? Go ahead and bash me but any help is appreciated too. |
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shaunew

Joined: 17 Apr 2007 Location: Calgary
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Posted: Thu May 24, 2007 11:13 pm Post subject: |
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All I can say is F-2. Well worth the stupid little korean men looking at you, plus if you love her. Who the hell cares what others think. My wife and I don't. |
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PimpofKorea

Joined: 09 Dec 2006 Location: Dealing in high quality imported English
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Posted: Fri May 25, 2007 12:13 am Post subject: |
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shaunew wrote: |
All I can say is F-2. Well worth the stupid little korean men looking at you, plus if you love her. Who the hell cares what others think. My wife and I don't. |
Yeah...the F2 is a money maker.....and if that little 150 pound ramyeon slurper has something to say to you....make him eat those thin utlra esse lights he's smoking. |
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Emark

Joined: 10 May 2007 Location: duh, Korea?
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Posted: Fri May 25, 2007 12:27 am Post subject: Try this topic here: |
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I want to challenge you to try discussing this topic at :
i l u v k o r e a . c o m ! ! ! !
You will find a number of people (some more or less than 150 lbs and all of them noodle luvin) jumping all over you for your extremist post!
Actually, please go there and discuss this ... they need to be educated! |
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pastis

Joined: 20 Jun 2006
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Posted: Fri May 25, 2007 12:59 am Post subject: |
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If you have kids, just move to a more socially evolved country like the U.S., or Zimbabwe. |
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Saxiif

Joined: 15 May 2003 Location: Seongnam
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Posted: Fri May 25, 2007 1:13 am Post subject: |
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What's the gf's family like? The richer they are, generally, the more trouble you'll have and you'll probably have waaaaaaaaaaaaaay fewer problems if her father is dead (morbid as that sounds).
With Korean potential in-laws it seems like a crapshoot between them hating your guts or them wanting to adopt you. I got lucky and got the second... |
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Guri Guy

Joined: 07 Sep 2003 Location: Bamboo Island
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Posted: Fri May 25, 2007 1:21 am Post subject: |
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Quote: |
I want to challenge you to try discussing this topic at :
i l u v k o r e a . c o m ! ! ! !
You will find a number of people (some more or less than 150 lbs and all of them noodle luvin) jumping all over you for your extremist post!
Actually, please go there and discuss this ... they need to be educated! |
It's a pretty boring website actually. Almost sterile... |
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Satori

Joined: 09 Dec 2005 Location: Above it all
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Posted: Fri May 25, 2007 1:42 am Post subject: |
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The attitude you're picking up on is very real, and very sad. As to why it got this way here, who knows. Not all countries are equally racist. It may have something to do with location, ie countries that are situated in such a way as to be a major trading thoroughfare are more likely to be more tolerant, no? I t also may have something to do with thier history of being invaded so much, and finally it may have something to do with their religious/philosophical beliefs. Either way, it's a sad thing, definitely for a foreigner in love with a Korean girl, but also I think for Koreans themselves, as they close themselves off to a lot of richness, vibrance, and vitality that comes from multiculturalism, not to mention you get more ideas floating round so there is more likely to be more good ones. Multiculturalism is the way the world is going, and it's unstoppable in the end, it will happen everywhere, and racism will die out, just sooner some places than others. Unfortunately it seems Korea will be hanging on to the old, primitive, outmoded, tribal ways of thinking for a good while yet. |
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The Bobster

Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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Posted: Fri May 25, 2007 2:56 am Post subject: |
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This is the most common thing complained about here, the notion that Korean men feel inferior and resent us round-eyes taking their women. After all this time, come to the conclusion it's a compensatory reaction among a percentage of foreign men who understand they are in an environment in which they are largely powerless, compared to where they came from ... so they need to make them themselves feel bigger. Yes, that's what I said, bigger. (And yes, you know what I mean by that.)
Been in Seoul going on 8 years and it's happened to me maybe 3 times, some Korean guy taking exception to me being in the company of a Korean woman. Three times in eight years. Wow. Big deal.
When I first came here, I expected it a lot, by the way, because the most recent edition of Lonely Planet at that time had a sidebar referring to a Korean man on trial for stabbing a westerner, and his defense was something like, "He was with a Korean woman, and he was smiling."
One of the three times it ever happened to me, I didn't notice myself. The later-to-be-spouse leaned over to me in the back of the cab and, "Let's get out. This guy's an a-hole. There are other taxis."
Three times, in eight years. Wow. |
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SuperFly

Joined: 09 Jul 2003 Location: In the doghouse
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Posted: Fri May 25, 2007 3:12 am Post subject: |
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The Bobster wrote: |
This is the most common thing complained about here, the notion that Korean men feel inferior and resent us round-eyes taking their women. After all this time, come to the conclusion it's a compensatory reaction among a percentage of foreign men who understand they are in an environment in which they are largely powerless, compared to where they came from ... so they need to make them themselves feel bigger. Yes, that's what I said, bigger. (And yes, you know what I mean by that.)
Been in Seoul going on 8 years and it's happened to me maybe 3 times, some Korean guy taking exception to me being in the company of a Korean woman. Three times in eight years. Wow. Big deal.
When I first came here, I expected it a lot, by the way, because the most recent edition of Lonely Planet at that time had a sidebar referring to a Korean man on trial for stabbing a westerner, and his defense was something like, "He was with a Korean woman, and he was smiling."
One of the three times it ever happened to me, I didn't notice myself. The later-to-be-spouse leaned over to me in the back of the cab and, "Let's get out. This guy's an a-hole. There are other taxis."
Three times, in eight years. Wow. |
Happened to me once. I bit off his arm and sent him home to mama. He'll never eat another dog again.  |
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The_Conservative
Joined: 15 Mar 2007
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Posted: Fri May 25, 2007 3:27 am Post subject: Re: RACE/RACISM and relations in Korea etc. |
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Mix1 wrote: |
"Hasn't this topic been done to death?" I don't know. "Can't we just all get along?" I used to think that, but sometimes I'm not so sure.
Case in point...Korea.
I'm talking about race but specifically about "foreigners" or "wegukin" dating Koreans casually, versus possibly marrying them and maybe even breeding and having "mixed" offspring with them.
It seems like its easy for non-Koreans to go on a few dates with a Korean, but if/when the relation gets serious and there is any talk of marriage, it seems a whole other ballgame. I've had many Koreans tell me it's fine to date a foreigner, and many Koreans even want to try it. But... when it comes to marrying and having children... they generally seem only to want other Koreans in the picture.
Is this notion NOT simply racism at its core? . |
No, it's simply not true. There are plenty of F-2 people here.
There are even more Korean men with foreign wives.
You will notice that pretty much it's only the people who are bitter at Korea who come up with this stuff. It seems that the ones who are actually married, experience it far less. Hmmm wonder why? |
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The Bobster

Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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Posted: Fri May 25, 2007 3:32 am Post subject: |
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SuperFly wrote: |
Happened to me once. I bit off his arm and sent him home to mama. He'll never eat another dog again.  |
Thanks, 'fly, I was looking for a laugh at just that moment ...
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SuperFly

Joined: 09 Jul 2003 Location: In the doghouse
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Posted: Fri May 25, 2007 5:19 am Post subject: |
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그러면 (In that case) You should back me up in this thread --->http://forums.eslcafe.com/korea/viewtopic.php?t=88077&start=15 |
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in_seoul_2003
Joined: 24 Nov 2003
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Posted: Fri May 25, 2007 5:27 am Post subject: |
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...
Last edited by in_seoul_2003 on Mon Aug 27, 2007 9:46 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Satori

Joined: 09 Dec 2005 Location: Above it all
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Posted: Fri May 25, 2007 6:08 am Post subject: |
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The Bobster wrote: |
This is the most common thing complained about here, the notion that Korean men feel inferior and resent us round-eyes taking their women. After all this time, come to the conclusion it's a compensatory reaction among a percentage of foreign men who understand they are in an environment in which they are largely powerless, compared to where they came from ... so they need to make them themselves feel bigger. Yes, that's what I said, bigger. (And yes, you know what I mean by that.)
Been in Seoul going on 8 years and it's happened to me maybe 3 times, some Korean guy taking exception to me being in the company of a Korean woman. Three times in eight years. Wow. Big deal.
When I first came here, I expected it a lot, by the way, because the most recent edition of Lonely Planet at that time had a sidebar referring to a Korean man on trial for stabbing a westerner, and his defense was something like, "He was with a Korean woman, and he was smiling."
One of the three times it ever happened to me, I didn't notice myself. The later-to-be-spouse leaned over to me in the back of the cab and, "Let's get out. This guy's an a-hole. There are other taxis."
Three times, in eight years. Wow. |
Three times in 8 years is a lot when it should be none. And, just because you had only 3 experiences where it was outwardly expressed in a way that you noticed it does not mean that the phenomenon of Korean guys being very anti western men dating thier women is not deep and prevalent. You can tell this in many ways, don't just count personal experiences of the blatant outwardly expressed kind as a way of measuring this. The playboy scandal was a classic example. The western guys involved were knob-ends for sure, but in the end they were just dumb young men mouthing off about conquests as dumb young men do. And there are not too many developed countries where it would have become the national outrage that it became in Korea. |
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