Korean Job Discussion Forums

[superacidjax]

I don't like sharing food with the entire office. I don't want to go to co-workers' weddings (when I don't even know them beyond work) and I don't care about going to "mandatory fun" get togethers at co-workers' apartments.

Why is it that Korean co-workers get so offended when you like to do your own thing? I'm actually friends with my current co-workers, but at my wife's school, we don't like hardly any of the people there. The school is mostly Korean staffed and they get miffed if we don't want to "participate" in their social activities.

Do Koreans have life outside of work? I only work part-time and the rest of my time is spent DJing shows or producing music and frankly, my wife and I don't center our whole world around work. Yet, her co-workers are not as nice to her now because she doesn't want to go to someone's stupid wedding or give money.

What's the deal? Do Koreans have friends outside of work? Why is everything so personal with them? When she first started at the school, we went to the obligatory "mandatory fun," and we invited them to my shows (guestlists, free drinks, etc.) and yet, they don't come. I don't really care if they come or not, but why do THEY care so much if we come to their boring get-togethers?

Just ranting a bit..

[Yu_Bum_suk]

I love doing social crap with my co-workers. About the only time I turn down an invitation is when I'd be double-booked. And believe me, it makes a hell of a difference on your work-place experience. I think one reason why so many western workplaces are such shitty environments is because they've achieved the antithesis of 'jeong'.

[wylies99]

OP-I don't mind going out to dinner, (most of the time), but I hate those weddings. I pay 30,000 won for a meal and a (freak) show.

[The_Conservative]

[The_Conservative]

[KYC]

There are work place social gatherings here in America...I hate attending them too. You can only decline so much... After that, they just think you're a snob. I like the occasional gatherings..but mostly I prefer to be alone.

[ella]

That's the real problem. Some people need more time with other people, some people need more time alone. It's not a want, it's a need. There's nothing wrong with either need but few people understand that. Introverts and extroverts are actually physiologically different. Expecting one to be like the other is about a realistic as expecting a short person to be tall, it just doesn't make any sense.

[superacidjax]

[Ozabout7or8]

They might think you are lonely Superacidjax??

I was told often that the reason people invited me everywhere was because I was single and lived alone and so they were trying hard to help me out.

The answer to your OP is yes there is an intense obligation to partake in communal office activities in order to create 'Jeong', however these should only extend to Social dinners after important events or towards the end of key semesters/periods. For example we had one after the School audit and another towards the end of term. One to welcome me and another to say goodbye to someone else. Korean culture, being inclusive, sees every member of a team or group as having a role to play in order to preserve the order and dynamics of the environment. This involves knowing when to 'give way' on some issues, show some respect, and of course doing what is expected of team members.

Confucian culture has five key relationships, one of which is the employee-employer relationship, and as an employee you are expected to 'give up' a little of yourself for the good of the team. That is why Korean salary workers are so often overworked and stressed - because they must give more of themselves than a middle-class westerner would consider is healthy. This results in busted marriages and shildren that never see their parents.

It sounds a little wierd that you are being pressured to attend weddings (I was invited but my attendance was not expected) although one teachers parent's funeral I was 'expected' to show my face at for at least half an hour.

Um, I would say that spending Sundays/Saturdays with co-workers is a bit wierd, even for Korea, and as you have already mentioned unhealthy.

[superacidjax]

[KWellsDear]

I refuse to share my soju at work.

[Ozabout7or8]

Yeh, I pretty much hate it myself. The main thing about the 'work culture' is that it takes away from people the responsibility to organise their lives because they can always say 'I've gotta go and do this/that'.

I have been on the wrong end of such excuses and also witnessed first-hand people who continue to agree to complete tasks that seem inane and useless to me simply because their (older) boss is still living in the confusion era and thinks that is how things s/be done.

If you see some movies showing highschool scenes set in the 70's and 80's you can see how this has impacted the workplace.

It seems such a silly thing (the work culture) but changing it will take a huge effort. Think of something as simple as the language - as soon as you start interacting in a formal situation using Korean you adopt a language 'level' appropriate to your position and this can change for everyone you speak. This is just one small thing that reinforces the social heirarchy, and ability of (Korean) people to use their own initiative in work/school situations.

[superacidjax]

[Ozabout7or8]

Korean Highschool drama's...there are a few movies that are set entirely in and around school, and some that include a few scenes in schools. There are one or two famous ones that you could get hold of.

What they have in them:

- Korean boys having vicious fights using Tae Kwon Do
- The confusion 'top down' teaching approach
- Extreme example of discipline such as kickings and beatings (punishment meated out by on-site ROK Army officers in EVERY school, if not classroom
- Very frustrated boys/girls forced to conform rigidly to expectations of them
- If they werre kicked out of school basically their life was over and they would be forced to marry 'low' and get a nothing job so there was no 'option 2'

I recommend watching one as a way to see what some of your Korean co-workers and bosses went through. You will better understand their mindsets maybe

[superacidjax]