Korean Job Discussion Forums

[steven g]

Hi guys,

I'm due to get married to my korean fiance some time this December, and given that i am an only child and that she is from a large family of five girls, coupled with the fact that we will be settling in the UK, we've decided that it is only practical that we have our main wedding in the ROK. However, during my three year stint in Korea as an ESL teacher, i enjoyed my fair share of weddings with mixed thoughts on how they panned out.

I know several regular posters on here got married in Korea, and wondered if you could offer any tips on having as successful day as possible, preferably with tackiness kept to a minimum. My partner and i have both lived together back in the UK, but due to a visa expiring she has been back in Korea for the last few months, and so she is pretty much organising the key arrangements on her own. Any anecdotes from your own experiences, suggestions for venues, and tips for making an enjoyable day for all concerned (korean family and friends, as well as the travelling waegook clan) would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance for any help, advice.

Cheers, Steven

[Richard Krainium]

I think if you just say, "yes dear", you'll be ok.

After all, the show is for her and her family. Doesn't mean that you shouldn't have a good time too.

Just remember to have beer and soju at the reception.

[Yaya]

[RACETRAITOR]

Or you could do what I did: elope.

[ajuma]

Because you will be combining cultures in your married life, it would be nice if you could do so at your wedding. The best foreigner/Korean wedding I ever attended was a wonderful mix of Korean and western styles. The "speaker" (or whoever the guy is who talks interminable during wedding ceremonies) was Korean and after a paragraph or two, a Korean-American translated what was said. Some of the music was performed by the bride's Korean friends, while the groom's friends sang. The wedding was held in a park-like ampitheater where everyone had a good view of the ceremony.

Yes, there were a few "hokey" things like bubbles, but it was a wonderful mix of cultures and traditions. Best of all, the foreigners present didn't feel left out!!!

[steven g]

i agree that it is more a day for the bride than the groom. I have considered parks, the folk village etc, but, as i said earlier, we are 90% certain to be having the wedding this December to take advantage of the seasonal holidays, so i'm not sure an outdoor bash would be feasible.

The missus is from Suwon and that is where i spent my time while teaching in Korea. Does anyone know of any good venues there, or do u think it would be better looking further afield in Seoul, for example?

Thanks again for any tips.

Steven

[kotakji]

My wife and I did an outdoor wedding in the courtyard of a cafe. Ended up really lovely and a hellava lot better then the Disneyland tackiness of the wedding halls. We didnt make much of a profit though because the food was a few steps above the buffet line and as a result cost more, but we did break even.

But its all going to come down to your wife's parents- usually they control the event and you might not have much choice. For some reason most Koreans think wedding halls (or even better hotels) are the bees knees. Its kinda funny watching the random adjumas load up their buffet plates like its their last meal for a week and the adjoshies get sloshed from soju outta little paper cups.

In our wedding we didnt have any soju but one of the more cantankerous uncles decided to remedy the affront by hitting up the local Buy the Way. It didnt cause any problem but it is funny to see someone turn down free fresh beer and wine for 900 won rotgut at a pyeonoijeom.

If I had to go wedding hall as you said you might, then I think I woulda given up all expectation for memories and invited as many people as possible, milked it for all its worth and used the profit to take like a two month honeymoon or something. However, even then, in alot of cases that I have heard of, the parents keep the profit even when they werent the one footing the other bills to begin with.

[shaunew]

I was married in a hotel, her parents did everything, I say just enjoy it and get drunk. Drink with your new family and get them to like you. It's her day anyway. Just make sure the honeymoon is full of fun times and have a great life with your new bride.

[steven g]

I guess i'm quite fortunate in that i have known the in laws pretty well for 2 and a half years of the 4 that we have been together, and that i get on really well with them despite the obvious language constraints. i guess i am just conscious of dragging relatives of mine half-way across the world, and want to make sure it is half decent for them. Could also use some advice as to where to get hold of some quality refreshments for the reception, as i don't fancy plying my guests with Cass and OB lager !!

[dmbfan]

[Unposter]

You've gotten some good advice here. Let your wife and her family do what they think is best and let them have fun doing it. Be supportive and everything should go well.

A couple of suggestions though:

Koreans generally don't have receptions. Its eat and run. Plan your own reception; invite the mates and make this the "fun" time. Everything else should be about family.

If you have family that cannot make it to the wedding, there is no reason you cannot have a second wedding or "reception" back home. If you are thin on family, friends will do. It is a good way to introduce your better half and she will feel much more at home in your part of the world. Her family will be happy to as one thing that a Korean family will worry about is how they inlaws will treat their daughter, Whether the inlaws are Western or not. A big party in your wife's honor should set things on the right course.

One thing to consider is a traditional Korean wedding. If you want to avoid the "tackiness" of some Korean weddings, this is the best way. And, it can become a treasured memory of a land that introduced your wife to you. There are many places that offer indoor traditional Korean weddings, but the place I would recommend is Lotte World in Jamsil. It is not in Suwon but it is very good value for the money.

Congratulations on the nuptials and all the best.