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do long distance relationships work???
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natural



Joined: 15 Jun 2007

PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 4:08 pm    Post subject: do long distance relationships work??? Reply with quote

Ok I can see the eyes roll but im just in the process of havin interview for Korea and after a little rough patch with my gf (when i applied) things are getting back to norm again only thing is by this point this is something I really wanna do and basically my question is has any of you guys ever had a long distance relationship when u arrived and did it last?

As silly as it sounds and perhaps a little selfish I know the chances of it lasting are slim but I think it would ease the transition of coming to a strange land by having someone back home who u can always rely on etc (that kinda sounds crazy or selfish when you type it out lol) anyway can i get ur vets thoughts please
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nicholas_chiasson



Joined: 14 Jun 2007
Location: Samcheok

PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 4:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No. details available upon request.
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Alyallen



Joined: 29 Mar 2004
Location: The 4th Greatest Place on Earth = Jeonju!!!

PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 4:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Short answer "Yes" or "No"

Depends on how strong the relationship is.
How mature the two people involved are.
How much do you trust each other.
How much self control each person has and a dozen other variables.

I've been in a long distance relationship for 10 months now and it SUCKS sometimes but I find it to be worth it. Embarassed Cool
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hogwonguy1979



Joined: 22 Dec 2003
Location: the racoon den

PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 4:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

last year i did 5 months here while the wife was in the states dealing with family matters. it was tough though we talked every day, thanks to yahoo messenger with voice and those cheap phone cards. i even went to thailand and laos on my own.

upside was i learned i could do a lot more things on my own

downside was i missed her terribly, and was glad when she came back

there was no trust issues as we've been married now going on 14 years

in fact this summer she is going back to the states for 3 weeks while i go to thailand and myanmar. i didnt want to go to the states and deal with her family and she doesnt mind me exploring, she sees it as a recon mission for future trips. works out great
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Dev



Joined: 18 Apr 2006

PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 4:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No. Even maintaining your friendships with your buddies is difficult.
Maintaining an intimate relationship 5000 miles away is very very hard.
Mine cheated on me and dumped me for another guy back home after a five year relationship.
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nicholas_chiasson



Joined: 14 Jun 2007
Location: Samcheok

PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 4:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

-Mine started as long distance and got wierd, after I finally moved so I could be with her. Big suprise as Russia was involved.
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Mashimaro



Joined: 31 Jan 2003
Location: location, location

PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 5:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

no. waste of time
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storysinger81



Joined: 25 Mar 2007
Location: Daegu

PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 5:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Depends on the situation. Why are you going to Korea? Is there a reason she doesn't want to come with you? If she has 1 or 2 more years in school and you two have a definite understanding about what will happen and when you will return (or she'll join you), it might be pretty understandable. But if she has zero interest in seeing the world and learning about new cultures and you have a burning need to do so... then there might be trouble in paradise.
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seoulsucker



Joined: 05 Mar 2006
Location: The Land of the Hesitant Cutoff

PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 5:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very, very, very rarely. You're looking at less than a 1% chance of maintaining a dedicated, intimate, meaningful relationship, and that's a giving you the benefit of the doubt.

If you're going to come here, break it off before you do. The transition to a life here will go much more smoothly if you're not up nights all weepy on the phone trying to figure out what you guys should do.
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merkurix



Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Location: Not far from the deep end.

PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 5:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OP, is there any chance she could join you on this teaching adventure? There are many couples who take the plunge together and come here, and very often, even teach in the same place.
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kermo



Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Location: Eating eggs, with a comb, out of a shoe.

PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 6:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've been surprised at how fickle emotions can be once there is an ocean separating two bodies, despite best intentions.
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RACETRAITOR



Joined: 24 Oct 2005
Location: Seoul, South Korea

PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 6:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Even if it would work, why waste a year being celibate? Come here single. Don't do that to yourself and your girlfriend.

The only people I've ever known to make it through a year in Korea with a relationship back home intact were:
a) polygamous
b) married and over 50
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Saxiif



Joined: 15 May 2003
Location: Seongnam

PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 6:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't understand how anyone can come to Korea for a year and expect to keep a relationship going with people back home. Plenty of soldiers break up when deployed abroad but that's something they're forced to do so its understanable, but saying that you're going to be celebate for a year to do a hagwon monkey seems a bit silly...
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Yo!Chingo



Joined: 06 Dec 2005
Location: Seoul Korea

PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 6:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Long distance relationships are difficult, to say the least. They're hard even when there are no problems and you're happy as a clam. You mentioned however that you're getting over a "little rough patch". What exactly does that mean b/c if it was just a little spat maybe it'll be ok, but putting thousands of miles between you and her if it wasn't something little is a recipe for disaster.
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natural



Joined: 15 Jun 2007

PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 6:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

thanks for the replies she basically has around 4 years of studies left(im a bit older ) and she wants to travel but only to the us. which is where i want to end up too (where both from UK) The rough patch was about other stuff but brought home how much we mean to each other. To be honest I doubt it would survive a year, maybe 3 months but a year seems like such a long time. Like i mentioned i guess it would be nice for me in a selfish way if i still had some normality at home while encountering a new adventure then it would be easier to accept the end in a few months as opposed to moving to new enviroment while coping with a break-up. Not sure if that makes sense to anyone else

thanks again for advice
a
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