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oneofthesarahs
Joined: 05 Nov 2006
Location: Sacheon City
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 Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 7:49 pm Post subject: |
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| This is why we can't have nice things. |
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cosmo
Joined: 09 Nov 2006
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Freaka
Joined: 05 Jun 2007
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| Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 8:02 pm Post subject: |
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| oneofthesarahs wrote: |
| This is why we can't have nice things. |
I'm sorry, oneofthesarahs. In my defense, I simply responded to your original topic in my first post. Then The Bobster jumped in and somehow tried to make this thread about me under the very thin guise that I am somehow a misogynist. 
Then of course, Jinju jumps into this thread to somehow make this thread all about him because he truly does seem that desperate for attention.
And before the mods take me to task for playing the victim or causing trouble, where in my original post to the OP did I invite The Bobster and Jinju to jump into this thread??????????
Last edited by Freaka on Thu Jun 21, 2007 8:03 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Fresh Prince
Joined: 05 Dec 2006
Location: The glorious nation of Korea
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| Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 8:02 pm Post subject: |
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| oneofthesarahs wrote: |
Let's please not crap up my thread with personal attacks, dudes and dudettes.
Gender roles are really interesting to look at, especially in a country like Korea. Both western men and women are in for a big shock when they come here. One thing that bothers me about the attitude of several men that I have met here is that they want a girl who is both submissive and "puts out." I'm sorry, but you can't have it both ways. I have met a few guys here who have Korean wives who barely speak English, and I think that's really sad. What on earth is the basis of a relationship between two people who hardly share a common language? I'm not saying that marrying a Korean woman is a bad thing, I've met loads of lovely couples. But when men start treating the Korean girlfriend/wife as the Holy Grail, there are some problems. |
Some might question the basis of a relationship in the west as well. Despite having a common language and mutual cultural upbringing, the divorce rate is much higher than it is in Asia or most of the non-western world for that matter.
How is it sad that people have Korean wives that can, "barely," speak English? With a few years of studies most people can learn to speak a foreign lanaguage well. Afterwards, if they spend time in the foreign country they can speak very well. |
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cosmo
Joined: 09 Nov 2006
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| Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 8:05 pm Post subject: |
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| Freaka wrote: |
| oneofthesarahs wrote: |
| This is why we can't have nice things. |
And before the mods take me to task for playing the victim or causing trouble, where in my original post to the OP did I invite The Bobster and Jinju to jump into this thread?????????? |
Freaka:
He's completely delusional, and I think most of the people on this board realize that. As a woman, I dress to please myself, but if I am concerned about making an impression, I usually worry about what other women will think of my outfit, not the men. As a woman, I'll be making more money than Jinju in Korea...and instead of accepting the reality that a female gyopo like myself happened to get lucky and landed a great job, he dares insinuate that I'll be making my money as a hooker. Please. No wonder none of the women on this board can stand Jinju. |
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swetepete
Joined: 01 Nov 2006
Location: a limp little burg
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| Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 8:11 pm Post subject: |
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| Fresh Prince wrote: |
Some might question the basis of a relationship in the west as well. Despite having a common language and mutual cultural upbringing, the divorce rate is much higher than it is in Asia or most of the non-western world for that matter.
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I agree that questioning the basis of relationships is always a good idea.
In re: your your point about the divorce rate being higher here--I figure it's due to a combination of reasons.
1) There's still HUGE pressure on many young Koreans to get married, and
2) It's now possible, socially and economically, to divorce yourself from the idiot your family pressured you into marrying.
I figure as time goes on the foot-on-your-neck-pressure to marry will diminish somewhat; the marriage rate will go down; and, thus, the divorce rate will go down too. |
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Freaka
Joined: 05 Jun 2007
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| Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 8:19 pm Post subject: |
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| Fresh Prince wrote: |
| oneofthesarahs wrote: |
Let's please not crap up my thread with personal attacks, dudes and dudettes.
Gender roles are really interesting to look at, especially in a country like Korea. Both western men and women are in for a big shock when they come here. One thing that bothers me about the attitude of several men that I have met here is that they want a girl who is both submissive and "puts out." I'm sorry, but you can't have it both ways. I have met a few guys here who have Korean wives who barely speak English, and I think that's really sad. What on earth is the basis of a relationship between two people who hardly share a common language? I'm not saying that marrying a Korean woman is a bad thing, I've met loads of lovely couples. But when men start treating the Korean girlfriend/wife as the Holy Grail, there are some problems. |
Some might question the basis of a relationship in the west as well. Despite having a common language and mutual cultural upbringing, the divorce rate is much higher than it is in Asia or most of the non-western world for that matter.
How is it sad that people have Korean wives that can, "barely," speak English? With a few years of studies most people can learn to speak a foreign lanaguage well. Afterwards, if they spend time in the foreign country they can speak very well. |
Oneofthesarahs, unfortunately, the stereotype that Asian women are submissive and will "put out" still exists. There are just as many Western women as there are Asian women that will cater to their husbands' needs, yet for some reason, many Westerners seem to think that all Western women are fiercely independent (not true) and that all Asian women are submissive (not true). Imho, Korean women are some of the feistiest and headstrong women I know...and generally speaking, they are not submissive. Many are quite the opposite, actually. My mom wears the pants in my family! 
Freshprince, I agree. If divorce rates are any indication, then speaking a common language cannot be the sole basis in judging the potential of a relationship. I know a British expat in Cha-am who is very happy with his Thai wife. She speaks little English and he speaks little Thai, but they truly seem to happy together and get along splendidly. And before anyone asks, no, she was not a former bar girl that he saved from a life of prostitution.
However, I do understand where oneofthesarahs is coming from...one would think that sharing a common language would be important for communication...and in some instances, I think the language barrier does prove to be too much.
Last edited by Freaka on Thu Jun 21, 2007 8:27 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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jinju
Joined: 22 Jan 2006
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| Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 8:22 pm Post subject: |
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| Freaka wrote: |
| oneofthesarahs wrote: |
| This is why we can't have nice things. |
I'm sorry, oneofthesarahs. In my defense, I simply responded to your original topic in my first post. Then The Bobster jumped in and somehow tried to make this thread about me under the very thin guise that I am somehow a misogynist.
Then of course, Jinju jumps into this thread to somehow make this thread all about him because he truly does seem that desperate for attention.
And before the mods take me to task for playing the victim or causing trouble, where in my original post to the OP did I invite The Bobster and Jinju to jump into this thread?????????? |
Are you this far gone? Nobody needs your permission or invitation to enter any thread. You arent even the OP of this tgread but even if you were, nobody has to ask or be invited. Someone told you to step back and collect your senses, and its good advice. You are self destructing.
This thread wasnt about me at the beginning, but you quickly made it so by insulting my wife. Keep doing it and Ill keep responding, and reporting you.
The reason we cant have nice things is because people restart closed threads, people keep ignoring warnings from the mods. Freaka, be careful. |
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cosmo
Joined: 09 Nov 2006
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| Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 8:25 pm Post subject: |
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| Freaka wrote: |
Oneofthesarahs, unfortunately, the stereotype that Asian women are submissive and will "put out" still exists. There are just as many Western women as there are Asian women that will cater to her husbands needs, yet for some reason, many Westerners seem to think that all Western women are fiercely independent (not true) and that all Asian women are submissive (not true). Imho, Korean women are some of the feistiest and headstrong women I know...and generally speaking, they are not submissive. Many are quite the opposite, actually. My mom wears the pants in my family!
Freshprince, I agree. If divorce rates are any indication, then speaking a common language cannot be the sole basis in judging the potential of a relationship. I know a British expat in Cha-am who is very happy with his Thai wife. She speaks little English and he speaks little Thai, but they truly seem to happy together and get along splendidly. And before anyone asks, no, she was not a former bar girl that he saved from a life of prostitution.
However, I do understand where oneofthesarahs is coming from...one would think that sharing a common language would be important for communication...and in some instances, I think the language barrier does prove to be too much. |
They (F+j) remind me of that animated image that is used as an avatar,
with the guy furiously typing on his keyboard with bleeding hands working up to his arms disintegrating into a bloody mess,
then left with only his head for a weapon, he smashes his skull down into a bloodbath of total self destruction. |
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Freaka
Joined: 05 Jun 2007
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| Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 8:29 pm Post subject: |
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| jinju wrote: |
| The reason we cant have nice things is because people restart closed threads, people keep ignoring warnings from the mods. Freaka, be careful. |
Kindly take your own advice. |
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Fresh Prince
Joined: 05 Dec 2006
Location: The glorious nation of Korea
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| Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 8:37 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
| "What on earth is the basis of a relationship between two people who hardly share a common language? |
One answer is that in western culture, a large amount of people view their self-worth in terms of their earning potential and material possessions. It's more common than not for western couples to hardly ever be home together as they both work jobs that demand long hours and self-sacrifice. One could easily ask what kind of relationship is possible in that environment. |
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merkurix
Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Location: Not far from the deep end.
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Yu_Bum_suk
Joined: 25 Dec 2004
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| Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 8:41 pm Post subject: Re: Misogyny and Hypocrisy |
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| oneofthesarahs wrote: |
*Note: Dearest mods, please do not lock this right away. I feel like this is a different angle on the misogyny thread that does not involve personal attacks/playing a game of who's the troll. Also, I think this is a serious topic which is quite important to me and deserves a second chance at serious discussion.
In general, I've been keeping out of the male vs. female threads, because I have up to this point felt like it has mostly been a lot of online d*ck waving. But something about this board has been bothering me a lot lately and I've finally figured out what it is.
In one of the threads, kermo said that she had kept her identity as a female secret for a long time. This made me really sad, because it is the same reason that many women avoid calling themselves a "feminist." As soon as you say the word "feminist," some men (and a few women, too) are going to start screaming FEMINAZI. But feminism isn't about being better than men or hating men or burning bras. Real feminism is just the simple concept that women are different than men, but capable of doing the same things as men and equal. Not really such a radical concept.
This gets into tricky territory for me because as well as being a feminist to the core, I am also a big proponent of free speech. So if you want to say hateful things, that's your problem, not mine. You are the one who comes across as a spiteful, bitter loser. There have been several posts to the tune of "If you dress like a sl*t, you are a sl*t." It's true that a person needs to be aware that the clothes they wear reflect their personality, whether that reflection is true or not. If you see a woman wearing a short skirt, think to yourself that she must surely be a big sl*t. Whatever. That's your prerogative. However, that does not give you the right to harass, catcall, or, heaven forbid, sexually assault someone. Having worked in a rape crisis center before, I know that placing the blame on the victim is one of the most psychologically damaging things you can do to a person, man or woman. (Yes, you big strong men can get raped, too.)
But lastly, and most importantly, of all men on the planet, white men working in Korea should not be so misogynistic. The most common complaints on these boards involve being stared at for being a foreigner, being treated as nothing more than an English speaking dancing robot, having a point of view that isn't listened to in the workplace and in the government. Correct me if I'm wrong, but those are exactly the same things that women have to deal with. Being stared at, being treated like an object, not being treated seriously/being dismissed. When you feel like you are being mistreated by Koreans, surprise! You know what it feels like to be a woman. Does it feel sh*tty when people treat you like you have only one function in life? Congratulations, you're a feminist. |
I think you're mistaking hatred for impertinence. Some things are interesting and some are not. Romantic relationships with white women and white women's feelings about relationships aren't high on my list of interests at the moment. I've studied gender history and women's studies and have sat through women's studies seminars where I was the only guy present. I published a conference paper on the use of heroines in Protestant martyrologies. I did research on conservative women's movements in the US. I've read Betty Friedan. It's not like I'm lacking in theory or education or wish anyone ill. Certainly everyone, male or female, has a right to their own safety regardless of what country they're in.
I just don't really give a shit about western women's perspective on things. As westerners yes - many female posters here make fantastic contributions - I'm interested in what they have to say; but as western women I don't care as it's really irrelevant to my life. Reciprocate if it makes you feel better but don't be so silly as to interpret it as hatred. |
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jessie-b
Joined: 17 Apr 2006
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| Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 8:49 pm Post subject: |
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| True, Western women aren't more independent than Korean women, but Western women (and male allies) have fought hard for laws which protect women and children from abuse, rape, and loss of property. Of course, the system doesn't work smoothly and we have a long way to go, but there has been a lot of work done on human/women's rights in the West. There is work being done here in Korea also, and I think it could be possible for foreigners to support Korean women and men who are trying to level out the gender playing field. I'm not sure what that support looks like exactly, maybe just noticing the huge potential of women in this country and to notice the good work they do now. |
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cosmo
Joined: 09 Nov 2006
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| Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 8:51 pm Post subject: |
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Posted: Sun Jun 17, 2007 11:48 pm
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thebomb:
I can sense another thread getting locked |
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