Korean Job Discussion Forums

[tomato]

■ Those with religiously zealous spouses, relatives, co-workers, and mothers-in-law will go out on the street and hold a celebration which like Korea in 1945.

■ Some churches will fold, some will stay busy serving the rejected "Lord, Lord!" criers.

■ We will all know once and for all whether 부시 was right or wrong.

■ We will all know once and for all whether the TV evangelists were right or wrong.

■ The skeptics and the Lord-Lord criers will debate whether or not to erase IN GOD WE TRUST from US currency.

■ The same two parties will debate whether or not to erase "Under God" from the US Pledge of Allegiance.

■ The same two parties will debate whether or not to erase the crosses from the Scandinavian flags.

■ Business will continue uninterrupted on state campuses until the students and professors hear the evening news.

■ The skeptics on ESL Cafe, now bereft of their precious opponents, will have to find something else. Gradualism versus punctuated equilibria, perhaps?

■ The religious zealots, now all in Heaven, will have to find something else. Free will versus predestination, perhaps?

■ Because of the abundance of vacated churches, their real estate values will drop. However, their prices will soar when realtors see the demand for turning those churches into libraries and science laboratories.

■ There will be legal dispute over land belonging to those churches which did not preach about the rapture, which therefore did not make legal provisions for such, but whose members got raptured anyway.

■ Because of the drop in the population of self-proclaimed psychics, James Randi, will have to find another line of work.

■ There will be scientific study on the anti-gravity properties of the rapture.

■ There will be a special issue of the Skeptical Inquirer debating the question "If Hell is a real place, then why weren't we raptured the other way?"

[Demophobe]

Could you write that all out in sign for me? I'm deaf.

[captain kirk]

I saw a really weird movie called 'The Rapture'. I found it in a video rental shop about five years ago, in Korea. American movie, it depicted the lives of people as they packed up their everyday, normal lives and headed out into the desert for the expected Rapture event. The acting/drama was good and convincing so that you actually expected something to happen. They quit their jobs, took their kids out of school, and drove off to a place in the middle of the southwestern American desert, middle of nowhere really. And waited. I think they ended up MAKING something happen, like sacrificing someone's son.

Cool movie because here were modern people acting like people do in the Bible. Bizarre.

[swetepete]

Yeah, I saw 'the Rapture,' starring David Duchovny and Mimi Rogers, as well. Good flick...they keep you guessing right til the end: is she nuts? or is It really going to happen?
I can't actually remember if she was nuts or if the actual Rapture really happens at the end...guess I'd better download that one again.

[dogshed]

What you should do is write a series of books and make millions.

Ooops. Too late. Someone already did.

[pdx]

I don't know... not all Christians believe in the rapture.

[tomato]

I accounted for that.
That's why I say that all the Christians who DON'T believe in the rapture are in for a surprise.

[cbclark4]

Toe to toe
Dancing very slow
Barely breathing
Almost comatose
Wall to wall
People hypnotised
And they're stepping lightly
Hang each night in Rapture

Back to back
Sacrailiac
Spineless movement
And a wild attack

Face to face
Sadly solitude
And it's finger popping
Twenty-four hour shopping in Rapture

Fab Five Freddie told me everybody's high
DJ's spinnin' are savin' my mind
Flash is fast, Flash is cool
Francois sez fas, Flashe' no do
And you don't stop, sure shot
Go out to the parking lot
And you get in your car and you drive real far
And you drive all night and then you see a light
And it comes right down and lands on the ground
And out comes a man from Mars
And you try to run but he's got a gun
And he shoots you dead and he eats your head
And then you're in the man from Mars
You go out at night, eatin' cars
You eat Cadillacs, Lincolns too
Mercurys and Subarus
And you don't stop, you keep on eatin' cars
Then, when there's no more cars
You go out at night and eat up bars where the people meet
Face to face, dance cheek to cheek
One to one, man to man
Dance toe to toe
Don't move too slow, 'cause the man from Mars
Is through with cars, he's eatin' bars
Yeah, wall to wall, door to door, hall to hall
He's gonna eat 'em all
Rapture, be pure
Take a tour, through the sewer
Don't strain your brain, paint a train
You'll be singin' in the rain
I said don't stop, do punk rock

Well now you see what you wanna be
Just have your party on TV
'Cause the man from Mars won't eat up bars when the TV's on
And now he's gone back up to space
Where he won't have a hassle with the human race
And you hip-hop, and you don't stop
Just blast off, sure shot
'Cause the man from Mars stopped eatin' cars and eatin' bars
And now he only eats guitars, get up!


Blondie
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHPikUPlRD8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfXNj6HjjhU&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4i-nCyWHBLc&mode=related&search=

[ED209]

Simpsons - Homer predicts the Rapture

This clip also kinda sums up my points from the Christian Haters thread.

[koon_taung_daeng]

if the rapture happened we would all be fuuuuuuuucked.

better start practicing your backstroke, for the lake of fiyaaaaaa

[hugo_danner]

The Rapture is not doctrine, it comes from the Middle Ages. It's also a copout for cowards and Canadians!

[captain kirk]

[contrarian]

The second coming will happen this way!

This one totally infuriates all of the Catholic ex-friends.

The Pope is awakend by his chief scretary Cardinal Sin. "Your holiness time to awake I have some wonderful knews and some disturbing news."

"Well, its morning so give me the good news first."

"Your Holiness, Jesus has come back to earth and he wants to talk to you on the phone!"

"Why! That is the best news ever. Whatever could the bad news be?"

"He's calling from Salt Lake CIty!!

[Gamecock]

What if Mohammed comes out of the clouds riding a white horse with a big sword to lop off the heads of all the infidels?

What if Apes from an alternate universe breech the continuum and make us all slaves for eternity?

What if a large meteor strikes the earth, destroying all intelligent life?

What if? What if?

Actually, the chance of the third happening is FAR more likely than the rapture or anything else ridiculous, fear-mongering, religious folks can come up with...