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Big_Bird
Joined: 31 Jan 2003
Location: Sometimes here sometimes there...
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 Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 1:41 am Post subject: 15 things no man wants to hear... from a woman |
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In the spirit of the war of the sexes stuff we've had lately:
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/woman/story/0,,1747295,00.html
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1 Any stories about ex-boyfriends, even ones told against the poor blokes. If your ex was a violent, brainless, tattooed ex-con, this will only make us feel boring and unmanly. And scared.
2 The phrase 'I'd say it's bang-on average, if not slightly bigger'. Best to steer clear of the size issue. Like us talking about your weight, it can only lead to misunderstanding and hurt.
3 Obsessive accounts of your diet and exercise regime. Men like skinny women, true. But they dislike being exposed to the borderline eating disorders and pathological obsessiveness that produce them. And curvy and sane always beats mad and thin. Eventually.
4 The accusing phrase, 'What's wrong with the blue dress, then?' after we have said we like the red one.
5 Any details of your day at work. Although men can find the most basic things endlessly fascinating - the number of buttons on their shirts, farting - they will suddenly develop ADD when it comes to your professional life. Unless you are a porn actress. No, actually, even then...
6 Any information about things you thought about buying. We are perfectly happy to admire actual purchases, but yearning for those phantom shoes/dress/bag exasperates us.
7 Stories about other men patronising you. This will give us an irresistible urge to ruffle your hair and say in a kids-TV voice, 'Awww, did dey? Did dey do dat to oo?' I know, sometimes we're asking for trouble.
8 The word 'Fine' as a stand-alone sentence. The scariest syllable in the female vocabulary.
9 The sound of weeping. It destroys us.
10 Any details of strife you may be having with your female friends. The endless round of hurt and rapprochement that constitutes girls' friendships mystifies us. If she's that much trouble just delete her from your bloody mobile.
11 The phrase, 'Hang on, I'll just reply to this text before we order'. We want first claim on your attention, woman.
12 The phrase, 'Can you turn over, you're snoring'. Great, that's both of us awake.
13 The words 'Am I special? Am I?' Especially if you are drawing a circle around our nipple with your finger at the time.
14 Anyone else's name, in your sleep.
15 Your dreams. Unless we're in them. And in a good light, too. If not, save 'em for the shrink. |
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Alyallen
Joined: 29 Mar 2004
Location: The 4th Greatest Place on Earth = Jeonju!!!
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| Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 2:20 am Post subject: |
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No way. No 10 provides amusement for both me and my boyfriend.
Perhaps I've got a special man. No perhaps about it. 
You know what no man wants to hear? "It's OK. It happens sometime..."  |
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oldfatfarang
Joined: 19 May 2005
Location: On the road to somewhere.
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| Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 5:46 am Post subject: |
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| "What do you MEAN you're finished!" always sends a shiver of fear down my spine. |
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Alyallen
Joined: 29 Mar 2004
Location: The 4th Greatest Place on Earth = Jeonju!!!
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| Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 5:57 am Post subject: |
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| oldfatfarang wrote: |
| "What do you MEAN you're finished!" always sends a shiver of fear down my spine. |
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
That is hilarious!! |
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oldfatfarang
Joined: 19 May 2005
Location: On the road to somewhere.
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| Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 6:05 am Post subject: |
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| Actually, it's not that funny. Believe me. |
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Alyallen
Joined: 29 Mar 2004
Location: The 4th Greatest Place on Earth = Jeonju!!!
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| Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 6:08 am Post subject: |
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| oldfatfarang wrote: |
| Actually, it's not that funny. Believe me. |
 My apologizes then.... |
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Newbie
Joined: 07 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 7:02 am Post subject: |
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| "My last boyfriend was black" How can I compete with that? |
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JMO
Joined: 18 Jul 2006
Location: Daegu
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| Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 7:54 am Post subject: |
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Someones got to say it. The four most terrifying words for any man are
" Is it in yet"
And yes that has been said to me, even though I'm pretty much on average. Depressing stuff. |
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mikowee
Joined: 03 Aug 2006
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| Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 7:55 am Post subject: |
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| oldfatfarang wrote: |
| "What do you MEAN you're finished!" always sends a shiver of fear down my spine. |
I've heard something similar in Korean. I thought it was hilarious. Thankfully, my gf also had a sense of humour about it. Now she keeps calling me 토끼 though. |
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Young FRANKenstein
Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Location: Castle Frankenstein (that's FRONKensteen)
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| Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 8:16 am Post subject: |
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| "Get off me!" |
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yingwenlaoshi
Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Location: ... location, location!
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| Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 10:24 am Post subject: |
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What about "I'm pregnant"?
NOT GOOD! |
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The Bobster
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
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| Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 12:06 pm Post subject: |
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No. 16. "I'm calling my lawyer."
No. 17. "Our oldest son? He's not yours."
No. 18. "Your secretary? I heard she tested positive for HIV. THAT's why I haven't let you touch me at night for the last 6 months."
I could go on. There are SO many things a man never wants to hear from his woman ...
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DRAMA OVERKILL
Joined: 12 Apr 2005
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| Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 1:11 pm Post subject: |
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15 is a lot. How about five little ones:
1. You never...
2. How come you don't...?
3. I really wish you would...
4. Why did you do that...?
5. Do you even really care about...?
Headaches.  Why can't it be easier????????
It's almost always something. |
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mindmetoo
Joined: 02 Feb 2004
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| Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 3:21 pm Post subject: |
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| Big Bird can you list 10 things a man truly wants to hear from a woman? |
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Canadian Club
Joined: 12 Aug 2006
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| Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 4:01 pm Post subject: |
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| Maybe some of you *guys* should make a list of what you want to hear. |
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