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tyleranthony
Joined: 17 Mar 2007
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 Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 5:42 am Post subject: |
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one time i was driving with my family in newark, new jersey after eating a hefty meal at an amazing Portuguese restaurant and i had the most horrible farts of my entire life.
the funny thing was, everytime my fellow passengers rolled the windows down due to the stench of my gas, the air outside smelled worse than inside, so the windows had to stay up while i continued to unleash some serious fury. probably my proudest moment. |
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mikowee
Joined: 03 Aug 2006
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| Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 6:11 am Post subject: |
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I love giving myself the dutch oven.
Farts are weird. Why do people like inviting back what's been expelled by their bodies? It's obviously not a conscious choice. So what's the reason behind it? Is it just a quirk of human psychology? What if you and your buddy farted at the same time, but you didn't know. Then you smelled his/her fart thinking it was your own. Would you still like it? Do your farts carry a biological signature that only your subconscious can detect?
So many questions and just one lifetime  |
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Hopelessly Human
Joined: 03 Oct 2006
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| Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 6:22 am Post subject: |
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| why not do it wrote: |
:Once upon a time, me and a friend were driving north on the Hwy 400 heading up to Barry, Ontario. It was the middle of July, hot, humid and sunny, and we were in his Suzuki Samurai with the ragtop off. I let a fart of such gut-wrenching proportions that we actually had to pull off the highway and get out!!!!!!!
Now that is ass-power!!!!!!!!!
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That's impressive, but have you ever made anyone puke?
| Hopelessly Human wrote: |
| . . . my farts are delicious. But they once made somone puke. |
It was also in a car, but it was a cold March evening in New Jersey, so the windows were up. My two friends kept rolling them down and sticking their heads out the window into the freezing wind. Finally the driver pulled into a supermarket parking lot, opened his door, got out, and spewed. One of the funniest things ever. Even the guy who spewed was laughing his ass off.
Well, any chance I may have had with hooking up with a Dave's ESL Cafe girl is now all but gone. Not that I had any chance before this. |
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oldfatfarang
Joined: 19 May 2005
Location: On the road to somewhere.
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| Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 4:25 am Post subject: |
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| My farts smell like roses. But when I was a kid we had this cat. It was a real stinker. My brother and I used to feed it 2 full tins of cat food. It blew up like a balloon (greedy b gger). The we'd hold the cat up - point it's rear toward each other - and squeeeeze it. Oh my God. That cat was a lethal weapon. Its farts could peel wallpaper. |
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cangel
Joined: 19 Jun 2003
Location: Jeonju, S. Korea
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| Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 8:15 am Post subject: |
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| I wouldn't say I enjoy my odoriferous emanations, but I do admire the truly quality farts that really pack a punch. I particularly enjoy them when others do not. Letting one rip on an escalator is one of my favorite venues for sharing my colon cologne. As a matter of fact, just the other day I had some middle-aged Korean ladies, all dolled up, standing behind me on the esclator in Lotte department store, so I did a little crop dusting... Hardest part was keeping a straight face. Classic! |
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mole
Joined: 06 Feb 2003
Location: Act III
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| Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 2:29 pm Post subject: |
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| cangel wrote: |
| I wouldn't say I enjoy my odoriferous emanations, ... colon cologne...crop dusting... ! |
heh. A way with words. I'd never heard 'colon cologne' before, and I've been a pro fartmaster since cub scouts. |
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