| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
amberflannery
Joined: 25 Oct 2006
|
 Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 5:40 am Post subject: girl...friends? |
 |
|
hey ladies. when you got here where did you make your friends? i pushing 6 months and starting to get pretty lonely. haven't went out in nearly a month for lack of someone to hang out with. don't get me wrong- i love my guy friends. they just tend to hang out with eachother. and anyway sometimes we girls need to stick together to gossip and other secret girl things  |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
moosehead
Joined: 05 May 2007
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 5:45 am Post subject: |
|
|
my first gfs in korea were my adult students; that was several years ago and we've remained friends, they are like family to me now - i don't know how i would have ever made it without them - seriously -
since then i've met some other female NE teachers but mostly have worked w/few or no foreigners so it's been a bit hard - try reaching out to k's if you can - you might be surprised 
moosehead |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
amberflannery
Joined: 25 Oct 2006
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 5:49 am Post subject: |
|
|
| i actually have several korean friends- just every time i try to make plans they are too busy. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
europe2seoul
Joined: 12 Sep 2005
Location: Seoul, Korea
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 6:43 am Post subject: |
|
|
| amberflannery wrote: |
| i actually have several korean friends- just every time i try to make plans they are too busy. |
That means they are not your real friends because you would be invited into whatever they are busy about.
In Korea people use the word friend as easily as giving out a cell phone number. Since it is a realtionship based society, you belong to either a family, co-worker, teacher/student or a friend category or lover  |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
amberflannery
Joined: 25 Oct 2006
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 6:49 am Post subject: |
|
|
they used to be really good friends from when they went to my school in the states- but here- i havent seen them in like 2 months.  |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
europe2seoul
Joined: 12 Sep 2005
Location: Seoul, Korea
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 6:55 am Post subject: |
|
|
| amberflannery wrote: |
| they used to be really good friends from when they went to my school in the states- but here- i havent seen them in like 2 months. |
Oh, I was thinking your friends in Korea. Like if you make Korean friends be on a watch out for people actually who fake to be your friends. You always meet them alone one-to-one and never get integrated into their circle like you would back home and vice versa. You may think they are you friends but....usually this happens with locals...and often you will be treated as a foreign friend/person for English practice and if same gender as say, experience of having coffee on Saturday afternoon with a foreign friend. Nothing deeper than that. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
pest2
Joined: 01 Jun 2005
Location: Vancouver, Canada
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 7:00 am Post subject: |
|
|
| To make friends with any koreans, men or women, you have to do them favors. no favors = no friends. dont worry about finding someone you like. Find someone who wants to use you. Then you will have a new friend. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
amberflannery
Joined: 25 Oct 2006
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 7:00 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Haha- they are Korean. They were exchange students- I don't feel I'm used for my English (at least all the time) because theirs is quite good- but I'm not integrated into their circles. I thought it might be cause their friends don't speak English and would feel uncomfortable around me. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
princess
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 7:02 am Post subject: |
|
|
| amberflannery wrote: |
| i actually have several korean friends- just every time i try to make plans they are too busy. |
Yeah, I have Korean "friends" who pull that busy crap. I go months without seeing them sometimes. Sometimes, I wonder about that "busy" stuff. Sometimes "busy" is just code for "I don't want to bother with you". Same goes for a guy you date. Also, I think sometimes, they actually are afraid to be seen with a foreigner. Sad, but true. Like when you meet a Korean and they just have to bring along another Korean. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
europe2seoul
Joined: 12 Sep 2005
Location: Seoul, Korea
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 7:07 am Post subject: |
|
|
| princess wrote: |
| Yeah, I have Korean "friends" who pull that busy crap. I go months without seeing them sometimes. Sometimes, I wonder about that "busy" stuff. Sometimes "busy" is just code for "I don't want to bother with you". |
Spot on. I mean, they are busy going out on Friday/Saturday night to a bar, restaurants, movies - basically have meets with friends or simply social life. I dunno, I always include and invite my friends and new friends into my circle. The more, the merrier. In Korea I have noticed I have to be more active in calling those "friends" that I think they are my friends for something to happen and then if they are not "busy" we meet up. Whereas back home, phones always start to ring when week is near the end and plans are being made. So, it is a good indication that friends are not really friends. Also, when they say they are busy - its because they already have plans to go out - not like they are being at home or visiting aging grandmother. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
princess
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 7:07 am Post subject: |
|
|
| pest2 wrote: |
| To make friends with any koreans, men or women, you have to do them favors. no favors = no friends. dont worry about finding someone you like. Find someone who wants to use you. Then you will have a new friend. |
hahaha..Good one. That's right. Fid someone who wants to use you...for let's see...bedroom activities, Englishee lessons, gifts, everyone has an agenda, whether we want to admit it or not. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
europe2seoul
Joined: 12 Sep 2005
Location: Seoul, Korea
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 7:10 am Post subject: |
|
|
| princess wrote: |
| pest2 wrote: |
| To make friends with any koreans, men or women, you have to do them favors. no favors = no friends. dont worry about finding someone you like. Find someone who wants to use you. Then you will have a new friend. |
hahaha..Good one. That's right. Fid someone who wants to use you...for let's see...bedroom activities, Englishee lessons, gifts, everyone has an agenda, whether we want to admit it or not. |
Princess - not everyone wants to use you. Unless agenda is like hanging out with an interesting and cool person (assuming you are).
I think this attitude may turn us into bad people unless it already did. Right now when I meet someone new, I am very caucious about those person's hidden motives....so when they use word friend at the beginning I do not believe them. Before when living in the west it was more "normal" - if you do exchange phone numbers and you do go out few times then you are kind of getting to be real friends. I dunno, maybe because I was in the university then so it was easier and now we are older with different agendas in our life, but still.... |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
princess
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: soul of Asia
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 7:11 am Post subject: |
|
|
| europe2seoul wrote: |
| princess wrote: |
| Yeah, I have Korean "friends" who pull that busy crap. I go months without seeing them sometimes. Sometimes, I wonder about that "busy" stuff. Sometimes "busy" is just code for "I don't want to bother with you". |
Spot on. I mean, they are busy going out on Friday/Saturday night to a bar, restaurants, movies - basically have meets with friends or simply social life. I dunno, I always include and invite my friends and new friends into my circle. The more, the merrier. In Korea I have noticed I have to be more active in calling those "friends" that I think they are my friends for something to happen and then if they are not "busy" we meet up. Whereas back home, phones always start to ring when week is near the end and plans are being made. So, it is a good indication that friends are not really friends. Also, when they say they are busy - its because they already have plans to go out - not like they are being at home or visiting aging grandmother. |
Good points and kudos to you. Not to mention, how many times have you all been stood up bu so-called Korean friends? One of my so-called "friends" I used to work and room with, has stood me up two times in the last 3 weeks. Then, I get a message on my handphone or cyworld, saying sorry I had to work late again, next time. I'm so sorry. Yeah, whatever. And my so-called Korean friends have almost NEVER intorduced me to their other friends. Only a couple of them have. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
europe2seoul
Joined: 12 Sep 2005
Location: Seoul, Korea
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 7:20 am Post subject: |
|
|
| princess wrote: |
| And my so-called Korean friends have almost NEVER intorduced me to their other friends. Only a couple of them have. |
And if you are a guy, like me, those male friends are going to make sure than even if they introduce some other friends they will NOT be female, even though when they regularly go out it is a mixed crowd which is normal everywhere for people in their 20s or early 30s that are single, working professionals. So expecting to meet The One from your friends - foreget about it. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Canadian Club
Joined: 12 Aug 2006
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 7:27 am Post subject: |
|
|
I did regular stuff that I like to do, and met other foreigners (or English speaking Koreans) that way. If you're into it, go to an art gallery or a bookstore or get your nails done at a bust foreigner place. I've met people while I was out walking, and a few people in galleries or museums... or the lineups at movie theatres. Once you meet a few people, you meet their friends and their friends' friends. There are bound to be a few that you click with.
Also, turn off your iPod. No one's going to say hi or approach you if you look busy in your own little world. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
