Korean Job Discussion Forums

[ghost]

Most of the foreigners I have met have no Korean friends.

A few foreigners hang out occasionally with Koreans, because the Koreans like to practice English with foreigners - but that's about it.

Many male teachers, even ones who are quite good looking, report that they are let down time and again by Korean girls -usually the scenario is that the foreigner goes for a drink with a Korean girl, and foreigner thinks the relationship will develop, but when foreigner tries to call the girl for a repeat date, the girl either doesn't answer the call, or puts out an excuse.

A foreign teacher in Anjung recently invited all the Korean staff from his Hagwon to his apartment for a pizza party. All the Korean staff made verbal agreements to show up. Come the night of the party, the foreigner is sitting waiting in the apartment with several large pizzas and enough drinks to feed and water an army. Finally after one hour, just two staff members show up after foreigner calls them.

Then - and this is the best part - the Koreans go to the balcony after about 15 minutes in the apartment and come back in, and tell the foreign teacher that they 'have to go home' because of some emergency at home!

Foreign teacher is left in his apartment with a bunch of food and drinks and feels like a fool.

Time and again, these sorts of incidents appear to be the norm in Korea.

Koreans are nice to our faces, but one suspects, that they do not really like us.

Comments? similar happenings?

Ghost in Korea

[wylies99]

It's hard because true friendships require deep conversations and the language barrier gets in the way.

[MissSeoul]

Not much common interests between them.
My first 2 years in America, I've invited to many parties, the subjects American talk at parties wasn't interesting subjects for me. You know American can talk couple hours just about their cats/dogs, it's boring and even seem silly

[excitinghead]

That truly does suck, and is all too common. Some of my wife's friends (she's Korean) are fundamentally nice people, but also think its perfectly acceptable to behave like that and have; that's part of the reason I stopped joining their get-togethers years ago.

But although you have a right to be angry, there are many cool nice Koreans out there. Actually I have more Korean friends than Western ones now, although that's partially due to being older than most teachers here, and most Western friends going back to their home countries (I've been here 7 years). But they are definately genuine friends that I'm very close to, and would find what your colleagues did very rude.

I admit, language is an issue. Although we use Korean now, my friends and I started by using English because my Korean wasn't good enough. And not with my own friends but still with many Koreans, them still living at home at 27 and other things can mean hanging out with them is like hanging out with a teenager. But you will sooner or later meet plently of considerate, mature, interesting and cool Koreans. Don't let that negative experience put you off getting to know Koreans for ever (although for a little while rant and rave away, sure - jeez, how can people from any culture think doing that is okay social behaviour?!).

[Julius]

Some of us gave up chasing after K-women a while back, for this reason.
Theres always some stupid problem that would not be an issue with a woman from any other country.
I've spoken to esl teachers in japan, China, taiwan, Philippines. Even the ugly ones have girlfriends within days or weeks of arriving there. In Korea its just a lot trickier. Even if they're hot for you they have the ability to hold back because being with a foreigner presents a big stigma in this society.

[Satori]

[ghost]

[Tokki1]

I've dated a lot of K-girls over the years. None of these relationships have worked out. My yellow fever has faded over the years, and I've mellowed out in my old age (32). I'm more interested in meeting a western woman for something long term than chasing skirts in clubs downtown like I used to.

Although I speak Korean rather well, there is a huge cultural divide that I can't seem to jump over no matter how much 보신탕 I eat or 홍삼 I drink. I seriously wonder about the success rate of western men and Korean women. It's gotta be pretty phucking low. Although I do have several friends who are married with kids with K-women.

Who the hell knows.

[ghost]

[jajdude]

[Tokki1]

[oneofthesarahs]

I think a lot of it has to do with language issues. Even the few foreigners that have lived here for a long time and are relatively fluent in Korean are still going to have trouble communicating on a native speaker level. Ditto for Koreans who speak English. That really makes it hard to really connect as friends. Friendship has a lot to do with communication, even on a silly having in-jokes level.

There is one guy here that I consider to be a real friend and not just a tangential random Korean to hang out with sometimes. That's because over seven months he's shown himself to be open-minded, kind, funny, and trustworthy. And I have never, ever felt like he is using me for English practice.

[New Balance]

[Julius]

To be honest I don't even look at Korean women anymore. Cos i know whats in their head, and it really 99% of the time isn't worth it..

As friends? Thats cool, no problem. But I just can't bring myself to perform the crazeeeee!! korean dating dance anymore.

[normalcyispasse]

I have several Korean friends, many of whom speak little or no English. My Korean sucks, too. We tend to get the basics across and just go motorcycling, but I still call them chingu.

I have some other Korean friends who speak English well enough for us to have firm friendships. It doesn't seem that big a problem.