Korean Job Discussion Forums

[PeterDragon]

I've finally been hit by full-blown culture shock. All day yesterday I had panic attacks, and they're continuing today.

I think what triggered it is my new job. I live in a VERY small rural town now. In a place like this, the Koreans will actually try to include you and do their best to make you an active part of the the community. Suddenly I've gone from being a peripheral outsider in a protective subculture of foreigners to being an active particpant in the Confucian, Korean speaking world. But there's more to it than that. I realize I actually find a lot of things about Korean culture to be despicable.

Racism is normalized here. An adjosshi (is that the term for older man?) the other day made a comment to the effect that white migooks like me are okay, it's the BLACK Americans that are violent/dishonest. When I got offended he got confused and reassured me that, "No, I'm saying WHITE foreigners are OK!" When my former students in Seoul warmly greet me on the streets during my visits, some of their parents often react to me with a combination of fear and mild disgust, and watch with trepidation if their children high-five me or hug me, as if I'm an unpredictable feral animal or something.

Human traficking/slavery exists here. And, while I've read one or two translated op-eds expressing concern, NO KOREAN WILL TALK ABOUT IT, not even the supposedly pious evanglical Christians I seem to meet everywhere I go. For all the issues I have with the American Christian right, they have no problem confronting ills within their own society. If postitution began to flourish in the U.S., evangelical Christians would literally be shouting on the streets about it, as they sometimes do in Vegas. Fundys would be pooling their money to launch private investigations to bust whorehouses and incarcerate human traffikers. They'd stage prostests if the authorities did not cooperate in enforcing the blue laws AND the human rights laws on the books.

Every Korean I've gotten to know here, even the ones I'm kind of friends with, are bigoted or unethical by the moral standards I was raised to believe in in the Midwest. I don't trust any Korean who attempts to befriend me right now. Some of my attempts to befriend Koreans have gotten me burned, like the time one of my neighbors practically stormed out of my apartment and stopped spekaing to me because I let slip that a number of friends of mine in the states are gay. But even when I do make a friend, listening to their racist rheotric, watching them silently ignore injustice and dark dysfunction, leaves me feeling a little dirty for associating with them. I'm not saying there aren't good people in this society. But digging for them doesn't seem worth the effort.

I know that cultural shock is a real psychological phenomenon, I know that my emotions aren't rational. But the sentiments behind them are very real. I thank anyone who's taken the time to read this rant, and I'll appreciate any responses this may get, negative or positive.

[hubba bubba]

haha, welcome to korea.

[SuperFly]

Gary Numan - Cars

Here in my car
I feel safest of all
I can lock all my doors
It's the only way to live
In cars

Here in my car
I can only receive
I can listen to you
It keeps me stable for days
In cars


Here in my car
Where the image breaks down
Will you visit me please?
If I open my door
In cars


Here in my car
I know I've started to think
About leaving tonight
Although nothing seems right
In cars

[Cohiba]

[mikowee]

If I didn't have to deal with my dad growing up, I might be in the same boat as you. As disgusting as it is, you'll get used to it. Unfortunately.

[PeterDragon]

[quote="mikowee"]If I didn't have to deal with my dad growing up, I might be in the same boat as you. [quote]

Well, as luck would have it, my father was an extremely gentle, somewhat self-righteous, a preacher and a social activist. Was your father a rat bastard, or was he just really really Korean?

[mikowee]

[quote="PeterDragon"][quote="mikowee"]If I didn't have to deal with my dad growing up, I might be in the same boat as you.

[kat2]

I've found to live happily here (for me anyway), I have to take the approach that "They've made their bed and now they have to lie in it." If you get caught up in all hte thigns that korea does that we percieve as wrong/immoral/illogical/wierd/crazy/nutty/unbelievable/etc then you will go bonified nuts. I did way too much of that my first year and was rather miserable. The best way for me to be happy here is to more or less remove myself from ever trying to understand or fit in here. Make a life for yourself and live it. Find a few close friends and a few activities you like to do. Make that your life. The more I remove myself from Korea, the happier I am. People can flame me or say whatever they want about me separating myself from the culture I live in, but IT MAKES ME HAPPY! And thats the most important thing. Different strokes for different folks. I now have a really nice life here in Busan- good friends, good public school job, nice apartment, etc. Don't try to understand or blend in. YOu can't.

One of the coolest Koreans I've ever met said this to me:
"I was born in Korea and I've lived here all my life, but I'll never get used to it."

[ruffie]

Now you know. Grow from it. Aside from money, the best thing you can take home from Korea is a less naive view of the world and human nature. Similar to movie stars who have life changing experiences when they trudge through famine or war afflicted areas, Korea is a moral wake up call for the hopelessly naive or trusting person. If you didn't know who your were, what you value and believe in before you came here, you sure will when you get on that final flight home.

Just don't obsess over it. Kharma applies to countries as well as people.

[the eye]

Time to start thinking about a hobby.

[Smee]

Did you end up in Naju?

Anyway, like a poster above, I spent a lot of time my first year obsessing over the seemingly countless contraditions in Korean society. It really irritated me that Koreans seemed to lack self-awareness or critical thinking skills. For as eager as they were to lambast Japan or the USA, they made no mention of their own domestic villans. For all the lip-service paid to English Fever, I met few Koreans who were up to snuff. And for all the whitening cream, the surgery, the westernization, the Starbucks, I certainly felt like a lot of Koreans were hostile to me.

On bad days I guess I went looking for this sort of garbage. It's really easy to take one small event (ugh, that kid screamed "HELLO" at me) and blow it up into something huge (why can't they treat foreigners politely? why can't they give us bank cards!) Part of the problem was, and is, that Korea is different and yeah, it has issues. Part of the problem was, and is, I was geting too emotionally invested.

I've tried to look on the bright side of things this year. That has led me to be more insulated in some ways. One of my favorite things about Korea is just that I have the free time and the relative freedom to do what I want. That's not the case for everybody, but I'm in an okay situation.

I dunno . . . some Koreans are racist. Certainly many Koreans exhibit behavior that might be considered racist. But count yourself lucky if you can make a few quality friends. It'll make things easier (obviously). It sounds lame, but I met a few people through ublove.com, and while I"ve gotten some spam from Russians, I've also had the opportunity to chat with interesting, educated Koreans.

[nateium]

Try to get out of your contract and move to Seoul

[PeterDragon]

[Masta_Don]

You can do what other teachers I know in small towns do and that is aggregate with other English teachers, make lots of alliances and twisted relationships, and then talk sh*t about each other behind their backs all the time. That way you avoid doing Korean things/meeting Korean people ("But I like being in a small town becuz it feels more Korean than Seoul") and you pass the time by being petty.

[Alyallen]

It's hard to ignore it because it's there but think of it as no different than back. People piss you off, you either call them out on it or hold it in and become bitter. It's really your choice.

I was going to write this long thing about personal choice, free will, ignorance and all kidns of nonsense but in the end it's not important. This is not your country, you are not the pied piper of tolerance, you are simply you. Be grateful you are who you are, enjoy the people you are with and if a smattering of your logic and good will changes their lives, consider yourself lucky to meet some open minded people.

Oh and find a hobby...that helps bring back a sense of control and calm into your existence I think....